Shelly’s Steps to Choosing a Preschool

Choosing a preschool for your child can be a daunting task. There are many factors to consider and you may not know where to begin. I consult with families to help them select the right school for their preschoolers. After 12 years of study and research into child development, learning, and cognition and 6 years of experience teaching preschool myself, I know just what to look for in a preschool to maximize its benefits for a child and her family. I’d like to share my system of analyzing preschools with you.

You may be too busy to spend the time you’d like at each school you’re considering but if you do have the opportunity to visit several schools in person, I highly recommend it. Only by visiting a school can you really get a feel for the environment. Also, when you do choose a school, especially if it’s a coop, or allows parent participation you plan to take advantage of, you’ll be there often. So, you want to be sure it’s a place you feel comfortable leaving your child and a place where you enjoy being.

I’ve worked with some parents who were so worried about getting accepted by a particular preschool that they failed to clearly assess whether the school is to their liking. I encourage you to be discerning in your initial choice and then really commit to the school you choose. Consistency is very important to young children, so ideally your preschooler will get to remain in one preschool for more than one school year. Allowing your child to develop relationships with peers and teachers over time gives your child an advantage in social skills and a strong sense of self.

Recently, as I was walking out of the public library I saw a mother enter with her two children. I watched the older brother, about eight, put his arm around his younger sister, about six, and say, “Sorry I yelled.” He was clearly apologizing to her of his own accord- mom hardly seemed to notice and was several steps ahead. I smiled as I watched him treat his sister with such tenderness after a clearly heated incident had recently occurred.
    
This is the kind of care and responsibility that indicates a high level of freedom, respect, and appropriate modeling of mature social skills. As a preschool teacher, when I observed interactions like this between students that were so full of caring and compassion, I knew we were doing a good job of modeling those qualities for our students- and that we were functioning well as a community.
    
Your preschooler is learning at a phenomenal rate, absorbing her surroundings and learning to imitate you and everyone she comes into contact with. As you asses a preschool and your child’s potential teacher, consider whether this school seems to be aligned with your own values and parenting style. Observe the interactions between child and adult and also pay attention to the interactions between the children in the classroom. Some preschools help foster the kinds of social skills you want to encourage as a parent, and others work against them.
    
The exchange between brother and sister reminded me of the climate in some really wonderful preschools I have worked in which encouraged this same kind of behavior. Conversely, in other preschool classrooms, children experience tension, stress, and conflict. They learn to fight, they come home stressed, and they hurt one another with their bodies and their words.
    
Just as you’ve worked hard to make your home a peaceful and loving environment for your child, you can choose a preschool situation that reflects those same values. The following are things I suggest you consider as you go about choosing a first school for your child:

ENTRANCE: As you approach the school, notice the outside appearance of the school. Is it warm and inviting? Do you like the neighborhood? Do you feel safe? When you enter the school, stop in the entryway and tune in to your senses. Look around, breathe, listen and notice how you feel.

ORDER, CHAOS AND NOISE LEVEL: Look around. Notice the balance between order and chaos in the environment. Is the environment clean and orderly? Noise level can make a huge impact on children who are sensitive to sound or who have trouble sustaining attention. A calm/quiet environment lends itself to learning. You may notice quite a difference in noise levels at various schools based on the building’s acoustic properties and the values of the teachers. Are teachers reminding young people to keep their voices down inside?

TEACHERS’ AFFECT: Now, take this opportunity to notice the overall affect of teachers to children. Are the teachers warm and kind? Or do they seem tight, overwhelmed, and stressed? Are they graceful in the classroom, handling challenges with compassion? Do you feel the children are being fully respected and honored by the communications you observe?

TEACHERS’ LANGUAGE AND COMMUNICATION: Children learn language and ways of speaking at a very rapid rate especially before age seven. Listen closely during your visit. Notice the tone of voice and the words spoken to children. Do you like the way this teacher speaks to young people?

Also, pay special attention to the level of language complexity the teacher uses with the children. If children are exposed early to complex sentences and a rich varied vocabulary, they will be better adept at communication for the rest of their lives. Likewise, if they are spoken to with respect and kindness, they will learn to speak to others in the same way.

DIVERSITY: Notice the composition of the class. Age four to five is when children start to notice and attach stories to differences in appearance, family structures, and so on. Find out if your child will be the only one, or one of only a few, of his ethnicity, family structure other attribute. If so, might you talk with other similar families? If there are none, why not?

Inquire whether the school has any kind of specific commitment to diversity, such as an anti-bias curriculum, books that help deal with difference, dolls of different ethnicities, or a diversity committee. Children of all backgrounds benefit from a conscious, positive and proactive approach to learning about difference.

CLEANLINESS: Take a look at the bathrooms and notice the overall accessibility and cleanliness. Do the bathrooms smell clean? Is there carpet in the classroom? Does the carpet need to be replaced or is it new and clean? Children spend lots of time on the floor- make sure it’s a floor you’d enjoy sitting down on with your child.

CHILD-ACCESSIBILITY: Are the sinks and water fountains within easy reach? Are soap, paper towels and toilet paper easily accessible? Are teachers available to assist children who need help?

Is there a convenient place for your child to leave his things? Does the furniture fit the children’s bodies? Do the children look comfortable in the classroom?

CLASSROOM MATERIALS: Notice the materials in the classroom. Do these objects support your child’s growth and learning or are they just taking up space? If you’re not sure, ask the teacher. Notice whether your child is drawn to the materials and engaged in some activity soon after you arrive. Is it easy or difficult to imagine your child occupying herself here all day?

CHILDRENS’ ACTIVITIES: Observe the other children in the classroom. Are they busy or bored? Are they working together or arguing over things? Note that these things will happen in every preschool classroom, kids will be both cooperative and in conflict, some will be learning while others are bored. But in just a short visit, you can get a sense of the overall social and learning environment at a particular school.

MATCH CLASS SIZE TO TEMPERMENT: Notice or inquire about child/teacher ratios and the number of children in each class. Some children do well in an environment with lots of other kids. Others need a smaller class size to feel comfortable. Notice your child’s reaction to the social environment. Does he jump right in or is he hovering near you?

PREPARE QUESTIONS, ENGAGE THE TEACHERS: Come prepared with a list of questions about what matters most to you. Speak directly with the classroom teacher. Your child’s potential future teacher will be your most direct link to what’s happening at school from an adult perspective. Choose a preschool teacher you like and with whom you connect. Ask questions about the teacher’s policies, philosophies, and approaches to behavior challenges and attendance so that you know whether you are aligned before you start school. It’s a good idea to check in now about anything that you feel strongly about. Ask the teacher what will happen if your child is having a hard time.

PARENT INVOLVEMENT: Find out how much parent participation the school encourages or requires. Consider what your schedule, energy level and interest will allow. Decide how involved you want to be, and how important your involvement is to you. Some co-op style preschools require copious parent involvement; other schools don’t allow parents in the classroom at all.

STAFF RETENTION: Find out how long the each of the staff members has worked at the school. Longevity in staff indicates a high level of integrity in administration. When your preschool teacher is happy at work and is being treated well, their happiness will transmit to your children. On the other hand, when classroom teachers are not getting their needs met, the children in their classrooms suffer. High turnover almost always means unsatisfactory working conditions for staff, which creates a lack of cohesion from year-to-year for families.

COST: Of course, cost is always a consideration. Get all the information about tuition, fees, and deposits up front. Wait to make a deposit until you’re fairly certain about your choice- many schools have a non-refundable deposit policy. Find out the policy of the school in question. Ask about after-care options and costs in case your child just loves to be at school, or in case your situation changes and you need more hours of childcare. After weighing all the options, choose your favorite preschool that you can afford without hardship.

Really notice which things you enjoy and what doesn’t work for you about each school. Then choose the school that feels the best and which you and your child enjoyed visiting most.

Once you’ve made a decision…

READ EVERYTHING: After you’ve enrolled, read all literature and acquaint yourself with the school’s policies and procedures. Your child’s transition will be easier if you know what to expect and familiarize yourself and your child with school policies like being on time, food and toys at school, bringing a change of clothes, when you should keep your child home due to illness etc.

COMMUNICATE WITH TEACHERS: As a former preschool teacher myself, I must ask- please be kind and communicative to your child’s preschool teacher. If the teacher is available and willing, take a few minutes to check in when you drop off and pick up your child. If drop off and pick up are not good times for the teacher, ask when he or she is available to talk. Inform your child’s teacher about any big trips or major transitions happening in your child’s life.

The relationship you develop with your child’s teacher is a model for your child about how to treat others. You can all experience a wonderfully communicative and supportive relationship if you’ll take the time to consciously develop a working relationship with your child’s classroom teacher(s). When you’ve already established a good connection with the teacher, it’s much easier to address any difficulties your child may have at school or home in the future.