Attune to your child…some of the time

Attunement:  it’s a word that gets thrown around a lot in the world of parenting and psychology, but what does attunement really mean?  Attunement is an innate ability that almost all humans have to internally and externally match the experience of another person with whom they’re connecting.  When we see someone crying, we easily and naturally feel sadness ourselves.  When we are with someone who just found out that they won a big contest, we feel excitement too.

But attunement is not simply empathy for another person’s emotional experience.  It’s an energetic matching game.  We may feel the sadness, but we’re not really attuning unless we’re matching the physical and non-physical energy of the person we’re with.  Attunement is the ultimate connection.  It’s a joining and sharing of an experience, an experience of oneness. read more

Storytelling, it’s more important than you think

Whenever the same idea comes up again and again in my life, I try my best to pay attention.  For me, the fact that I’ve heard the same thing said in different ways a bunch of times, especially over a short period of time, means that there’s something special I need to pay attention to.  This belief has served me well over the years and brought some interesting insights.

This week the concept that keeps popping up is that the ability to tell a cohesive narrative about our lives makes all the difference in attachment and parenting.  I first read the idea in “Parenting from the Inside Out” by Siegel and Hartzell and then just moments ago, I saw a video on facebook about the exact same concept.  Coincidence?  I think not. read more

The positive power of play

Every year here in Bend, OR we have “The week of the young child.”  It’s a week of activities centered around child development in the first five years of life.  Last night I went to a really great free event with several speakers who shared their passions about supporting child development.  We heard a lot about pre-literacy and how to prepare young children for reading.  But the speaker that moved me most talked about the importance of play in learning and development.

In humans, as in other animals, play is crucial to learning.  When children engage in imaginary play they are acting out possible real life scenarios, practicing skills they’ll need as they mature, and processing experiences they’ve had.  So, if we want to support our children’s learning and growth, it’s absolutely necessary that we play with them.  I want to repeat that, because it’s not just that we ought to allow our children to play or invite their friends over to play with them.  We actually need to get down on the floor and play with them. read more

The truth about separation anxiety

OK, I’ll admit it, when I was a preschool teacher I used to shake my head at the moms who had such a hard time leaving their child.  It seemed obvious to me that by prolonging their goodbyes and furrowing their brows they were only escalating their child’s separation anxiety.  If they would just leave swiftly, their child would settle in and enjoy the day much sooner!

Now that I have my own child, I definitely have more compassion for those moms.  It’s so hard to leave sometimes!  And when your little one is clinging to you and asking you to stay, I imagine it’s almost impossible to walk away. read more

Guest blog: Eating Together- Make it a Priority for Your Family

This guest blog is by Kitty Holman:

Well hello, 21st century.  In this day and age, we are lucky if our kids can look up from their iPhones to tell us how their day went.  With a constant flux of new inventions and technologies to make our lives “easier,” we are spending more and more time away from our families.  But there is at least one time of the day that can be set aside from the hustles, bustles, and stresses that encompass our lives. Meal time is a natural choice.  We all have to eat, and as a naturally social species, we like to do so with other people.  However, traditional family dinners are dwindling and quickly becoming unconventional. Taking forty five minutes to an hour out of your day to eat as a family has great nutritional and social benefits.  Most importantly, it will create a more permanent bond with your children. read more