Happy Mother’s Day! A Video Interview with Dr. Laura Markham

I recorded this video a little bit over a year ago as a part of an online eCourse I was creating, but I never finished the course and I just can’t withhold this gem of an interview any longer. So, to celebrate Mother’s Day I wanted to share this wonderful interview with Dr. Laura Markham with you.

Dr. Laura is such a fantastic resource for families and I am so happy to share her with you! I hope you enjoy the interview and I would love to hear your feedback and/or comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts below. And have a wonderful Mother’s Day. You are a gift to your family, the world, and to me. And I’m so so grateful you’re here. Love and hugs, Shelly read more

4 Secrets to Effective Gentle Discipline

You’re clear that you want to be a kind, caring, and compassionate parent. You don’t want to yell or spank your kids, but sometimes it’s hard to know if gentle discipline is actually working.

There are time when your kid is completely out of control and it’s confusing to figure out what to do about it when threatening, coercing, bribing, and punishing are all off the table. But there are things you can do that will dramatically increase cooperation without the destructive effects of coercion and punishment. read more

4 Rules I Never Thought I’d Have to Have

Parenting is filled with unexpected moments of delight and horror in almost equal measure as far as I can tell. Your kid tells a funny joke far beyond her years, and then she head butts you and busts your lip open.

I knew there would be unexpected challenges when I became a parent, but there have been some things that have completely shocked me. Even though I’ve been a nanny, preschool teacher, and an older sister for most of my life, the innate ability of our darling child to wreak complete havoc on our lives still astounds me. read more

4 Keys to Setting Boundaries That Get Respected WITHOUT Using Bribes, Threats, or Punishment

My daughter is about to turn three and her willfulness is definitely growing, as is her ability to reason and negotiate for what she wants. I wish I could say that this means that conflicts and tantrums are even further reduced, but on the contrary, it seems that her new negotiating skills simply fuel the fire of emotional upset when she doesn’t get her way.

I’ve noticed that gentle discipline is often misunderstood and mistaken for permissive parenting, however, the two are definitely not the same. Permissive parenting involves avoiding setting any rules or boundaries and definitely avoiding maintaining any. But setting clear rules and boundaries are a hallmark of gentle discipline. That’s because children desperately need rules and boundaries in order to feel safe and secure. In fact, they need rules and boundaries in order to BE safe. read more

4 Ways to Make Sure Kids Know You’re On Their Side

Kids have a different way of thinking about life and their experiences than we adults do. They have a tendency to blame themselves for other people’s behavior. And they often make up wildly inaccurate reasons for why things happen the way they do. That’s all perfectly normal and experience will eventually show them that they’re not responsible for their brother’s broken arm or for a huge snowstorm.

But sometimes it can be difficult for a child to distinguish between friend and foe from moment to moment, even in their own home. One minute we’re their hero because we let them have a special treat, then next, we’re the enemy who won’t allow them to go to the party, or draw on the walls, or run naked through the house. read more