The problem is that by shying away from the important topic of sex all together, we’re actually creating quite a problem. When children don’t know about their body parts or how they work or how babies are made, they make up their own stories about these things or they believe the things their friends tell them and sometimes their ideas about sex are quite a bit off the mark.

When I was about three years old, my very favorite book was “Where Did I Come From?” by Peter Mayle. My parents read it to me often and I loved the whole book. Beginning with some of the false ideas about where babies come from, the book describes in some detail how women’s and men’s bodies differ, exactly what sex is, and how sex resulted in the creation of a baby, namely me!  I was fascinated.

In high school I was shocked to discover that some of my friends STILL didn’t know this information. One of the things I like most about the fact that my parents read me this book is that we were always able to talk openly about sex, our bodies, and other “sensitive” topics. The book opened the door to a lifetime of discussion between me and my parents about what our bodies are like, how they function, and how we can best care for them.

I’m certain that I was able to enjoy a healthy sex life as a young woman without getting pregnant because of the openness and discussion I had with my mom. Oh, and also because of the multiple forms of protection against both STI’s and pregnancy that I used. I think that if I had ever experienced any sexual abuse or rape, I would have been able to talk to my mom about it.

Many of my friends didn’t have that kind of open, honest discussion about sex with their parents. Some of them did experience date rape and/or unwanted pregnancies. Now I’m not saying that if their parents had talked to them about sex, these things wouldn’t have happened. But I do think that being equipped with the correct information would have helped them.

So my husband and I are committed to being open and honest with our daughter about the correct names of male and female body parts (we use penis and vulva by the way), how they work, what happens during sex, how she came to be, and what to do if someone touches her body in a way that she doesn’t like. And yes, I still have my childhood copy of “Where Did I Come From?” to read to her when she’s ready.

How do you handle this topic at your house? Do you think we’re on the right track or completely off base? And what was your experience growing up? Did your parents teach you about sex or did you have to guess?

Have a fantastic week! Love, Shelly

“The word retarded is offensive to me, my son has Down syndrome. Please refrain from using that word to make fun of yourself. It is disrespectful to people with developmental disabilities. Thank you.

She did write me back during the webinar ( just a few moments ago) to say she was sorry about that and that she will [refrain].

I wonder if that moment between the two of us will make a difference the next time she thinks of using that word? I have no idea. But for me, it’s important to advocate for my son and others who have intellectual disabilities.

I know that most people have no idea that the word “retarded” could really be hurtful. And just so we are clear, I used to use that word myself. I had no clue. I wasn’t ever told that the word could be hurtful. I had never made the connection. It just seemed like a word used to make fun of myself.

However, on February 4th 2009, my understanding of the word changed when I gave birth to my son Max. I learned early on that the way the word retarded is used really does hurt people. I realized it was up to me to share the information. It was up to me to change my own language. It was up to me to advocate for my son. I don’t get angry when someone says it… well maybe a little. Mostly my heart sinks because I know I need to say something to advocate for my son and it’s not always an easy thing to bring up. Some people get defensive, argue with me and feel the need to tell me I’m wrong. I usually just say to someone “ouch, that word actually hurts me when I hear it.” It’s a new experience every time I hear it. I’ve learned ways to be helpful instead of being mean to them. That never works. Trust me. I have to remember not to take it personally, but to use the opportunity to educate with a loving and understanding heart.

The other day I had to take my son to the doctor to check his ears for infection. When the doctor came in to see him, he said “Oh you have a Downs.” I hear this a lot and it makes me shudder. No actually, I have a son who has Down syndrome. Not a “Downs,” or a “Downs baby.” It’s a shift in language that puts the individual first and the diagnosis second. My son is not his diagnosis. He is an incredible little boy with a lot of unique characteristics that make him who he is. Another example would be if someone called my friend who has cancer a “Cancer girl.” Or a “Cancer.” No she is not the diagnosis. She is a girl with a name who happens to have cancer. It’s the same with children and adults who have autism etc. Language Matters.

“Spread the Word to End the Word” Is a message that I feel strongly about. John C McGinley from the tv show Scrubs shares his feelings about the word retard and retarded in this video. He too has a son named Max who has Down syndrome.

I’ve made the commitment to replace the word “retarded” with the word “ridiculous”. Won’t you join me?

-Catherine Just is an award winning, published photographer gracing the cover of National Geographic and inside Oprah.com. She leads Soul*Full retreats for women and the Soul*Full eCourse. She’s also the proud mama to her son Max Harrison who happens to have Down syndrome.
You can find out more on her website at http://www.catherinejust.com or on Max’s Blog http://www.hang-on-little-tomato.blogspot.com

For more information on Down Syndrome:
NDSS

But then there are other times when I simply don’t WANT her to have the object of her desire. The truth is, sometimes I grab stuff away from her. Wow, I feel so vulnerable sharing that. And I feel awful afterward, especially if she’s left upset and crying. So I’m declaring right this moment that I’m committed to stopping this behavior. I will no longer grab things from my daughter (unless they’re truly dangerous items).

You might wonder what alerted me to the behavior in the fist place. Well, let me tell you. A couple of weeks ago my wonderful mother-in-law (who takes care of my daughter two days a week) came home from the library with a story about how my daughter had walked right up to another child and grabbed the book she was holding away from her. I’m sure it was an awkward moment for all involved and I was reminded of this blog post by Leslie that really inspired me (funny that her story happened at the library too).

After I heard about the “incident” at the library, I began to get curious about where my daughter had learned to grab and more importantly, why I hadn’t been teaching her how to ask nicely when she wanted something from someone else. And in the midst of my inquiry, I realized, I’ve been modeling the very thing she did. Whoa.

So, now that I’ve noticed the behavior that isn’t working for us and I’ve declared my new commitment to honor my daughter more fully, I have to come up with some strategies to help me keep my commitment. The first one is to plan ahead and keep items I don’t want her to have out of her reach entirely. So I’ll go through a few problem areas (like next to the diaper changing station) and reorganize, placing baby unfriendly items away in cabinets or boxes that close.

But I also need a strategy for the times when she does get something that I don’t want her to have. In those moments, I’ll take a deep breath and remember my commitment and then I’ll ask her for the item. If she refuses, I’ll ask her for “my turn”, or I’ll follow her around until she loses interest and then remove the item to a cabinet or drawer.

OK, so now I have my new commitment and my new strategies. I think I’m all set!

The only thing left is to process the feelings I have about how I’ve behaved in the past. I feel guilty about having ripped things away from my daughter in the past. I feel ashamed of my behavior and I’m judging myself as “immature.” And…my deepest truth is that I really was doing the best I could in the moment. It’s just that my best is constantly changing and grabbing things away from a young child no longer makes the cut.

Now I don’t expect my toddler to stop grabbing simply because I’ve stopped, but since we’ve also started talking about taking turns, I’ve noticed a big change already. After just a week or so of discussion, she now walks up to me, puts out her little hand and says “Turn?” My heart melts every single time.

Is this something that you struggle with too? If so, please leave me a comment. I’m out on a little bit of a limb here, and I would love to know that there are other people out here with me! Or maybe your challenge is slightly different, but I would still love to hear about it. We can support one another in making a change!

Sending you all warm hugs, Shelly

Now you might think that whispering in a room full of screaming kids wouldn’t have much impact, but I’ve found that screaming is the thing that makes the least impact. The kids just thought I was playing along with their game and continued to scream unless I really lost it, which I later felt bad about.

Instead, I did the opposite and got an almost immediate response. First I thought of a secret to tell. Then I went over to the loudest child and tapped her on the shoulder cupping my hands around my mouth as if I were about to whisper. Then I whispered the secret to her. Usually my secret had something to do with a delicious snack waiting for them in the other room or a really fun game or activity I had planned, but inevitably, the whisper was the thing that made the biggest difference.

My daughter has stopped nursing herself to sleep when she’s going to bed at night and instead prefers to cuddle to sleep. But if she’s really squirming and unsettled I simply begin to whisper a story to her and she’s often asleep within minutes. Sometimes she’ll whisper parts of the story back to me, but she ALWAYS stills her body and listens intently. It really doesn’t matter what the story is about, it can even be gibberish, the important thing is that the message I’m sending with my whispering is that it’s time to relax and rest now. And the message comes across loud and clear…or quiet and clear in this case. ?

I’ve even used whispering to stop a child from screeching wildly when she didn’t get what she wanted. Sure there are times when it’s important to allow a child to fully express her upset, but this particular child was using the screeching as a way to get my attention. So I gave her my attention, but I changed the rules of the game. Whenever she screeched, I would walk up to her, whisper in her ear, and then if the screeching continued, I would walk away. She almost always followed behind me whispering about the topic of choice. Because it wasn’t screaming that she most needed in that moment, it was my full attention.

I know it can be difficult to remember this when you’re in a room full of people who are yelling to be heard, but sometimes going against the grain and doing the opposite of what the crowd is doing is the perfect way to shift the dynamic.

My husband and I even use this technique when we’re dining in a very loud restaurant. If I can’t hear him, I just slide into the booth on his side of the table and we snuggle up and talk quietly to one another. Often, the noise level in the whole restaurant will go down. I’m not really sure why it works, but I’m sure glad it does!

So the next time you’re in a room full of loudness, try whispering and see what happens. I would love to hear how it goes. Please share your story with me in the comment box below.

And have a fantastic week, Shelly

And I think all of that is perfectly OK and natural for a new parent. It’s a lot of hard work to nurture an infant and it felt perfectly right for me to throw myself into motherhood so fully and completely. But now that I’m emerging from the haze of my daughter’s infancy I’m reminded that it’s my commitment to my highest values that will most positively impact her life.

So, if I value authentic relating and community, then I’d better step up and start acting like it again! After I gave birth to my daughter I was amazed at how little anything else mattered any more. It was like everything that had mattered the most in my life was reduced to a tiny sliver of importance and my daughter took up 99.9% of everything that mattered to me. I can feel that shifting now.

Sure, my family is HUGELY important to me. And nurturing and supporting my husband and daughter are some of the things that matter most. But there’s a new space opening up in me that still cares about the things that mattered BEFORE parenthood. Community. Authenticity. Honesty. Facing my fears bravely. Showing up BIG in my life. Fiercely supporting my clients to make big changes in their lives.

I’ve been gone for a while. I’ve been doing what I’ve needed to do to lay a strong foundation of love and trust between my child and me. But I’m ready to step out of my comfortable little nest and make an even bigger difference in the world. It’s important to me that I continue to learn, grow, and stretch. Because reaching out and challenging myself gives me a sense of purpose and joy. I also deeply want my daughter to live a passionate and inspired life. And I know that the best way to ensure that is to model it for her, myself.

So, fair warning, I’m about to bust out and share even more of myself with you and with the world. Goodbye ‘New Parent Social Isolation’ and Hello World!

I would love to know if this was your experience of the first year of your child’s life. Did you hibernate? And was there a time when you suddenly felt ready to re-engage socially? I want to hear your story!

Tons of love, Shelly

I mean, I think I can handle using a hanky instead of tissues, but I’m not so sure I’m willing to give up toilet paper.  And, while I enjoy buying bulk, I also really like some foods that are pre-packaged.  Hmmmm

I feel I’ve been working toward a more sustainable lifestyle for a long time now.  I’ve composted for about seven years and I love watching the soil come alive with organisms when it’s given some nutrients.  Last spring we raised chicks at our house, and now we’re getting three or four eggs a day from our four hens.  The chickens are such sweet pets and the eggs are delicious.

This year we’ve harvested quite a few mature apples from the apple tree in the front yard, and there are still several more on the branch.  I fertilized the tree with bat droppings.  I wonder who collected the bat scat and where it was harvested.   Does anyone know if chicken droppings would work as a flower/fruit fertilizer?

I also shop secondhand a bunch.  I use my local kids resale shop, Kids-n-Style like a rental house for toys, clothes, and baby gear.  I walk in with something to trade and walk out with the thing I’m really wanting that is perfect for my daughter’s current stage of development.  It’s really a win/win.  And then there are the environmental benefits of less manufacturing, less transportation and shipping.  Oh, and I bring my re-usable bags with me everywhere, and I use them.  So I think I’ve made some really positive changes that help me to live a more sustainable life.

One of the choices that I’m most proud of is my choice to cloth diaper my daughter.  In fact, I have NEVER used a single disposable diaper for her, even when we traveled across the country.  I’m really happy to know that we haven’t added any diapers to our landfill.

On the other hand, I LOVE hot water.  In fact, conserving water at all is a BIG challenge for me.  And while I’m thinking of putting up a clothesline, I’m not sure if I’m going to like the stiffness of the line-dried clothes.  Does that make me an irresponsible energy hog?

We also have a hot tub and I do NOT want to give it up just to reduce our energy consumption.  I find the hot water absolutely therapeutic.  My husband and I often spend “date nap” in the hot tub.  It was absolutely wonderful to be in the warm water during the first stages of birth…mmmm.

Oh, and I really enjoy having bananas and other tropical fruits on hand, no matter what time of year it is.  I understand that it would be better for the environment if I ate only locally produced food, but we have a very short growing season here in Bend, Oregon and come on, who can resist the bananas at the grocery store?  I surely can’t, at least not yet…

So, what if I had a solar powered home and I set up a very tall grow room for my banana tree?  That’s eating locally and producing the energy to grow my own food, but I guess I didn’t really take into account the production of the solar panels.  OK, I’ll admit that’s a pretty outlandish example, but isn’t it strange to be learning to produce less waste and use less energy while typing away on my laptop?  I wash some of my clothes with an old fashioned washboard, but I also stream movies through my big flat screen TV.  By the way, are the photovoltaic production plants running on solar power yet?

As you can see, sustainability is a VAST topic and at our house we’re no where near achieving it, but I think we’re doing pretty well so far and I know we’ll continue to learn, change, grow, and improve, because, well, that’s just what we do!

Have you made any recent changes at your house to improve your impact on the environment?  I would love to hear about it!  Have a super week, Shelly

Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response.  Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development.  And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills.  Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings.  When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down.

So, what do we do with those feelings of sadness and anger that go along with new accomplishments?  We can try to ignore them or shove them aside, but that sure hasn’t been working at our house.  I’d rather embrace the feelings and provide a safe space for my daughter to fully express all that she’s going through.

Amazingly, just last week, my little one learned how to roar like a lion and wow, it’s a really ferocious roar!  So my mom and I began to play a game with her where we pretend to be frightened by her roar.  She LOVES it!  It’s really one of the first times I’ve seen her expressing and enjoying her power, she completely lights up.  She roars again and again while we cower in mock fear.  “Oh no!  Don’t eat me!  I’m so scared,” can be heard often at our house these days.  Here’s a short video of the game:

Then last night it was bedtime.  And you guessed it, she didn’t want to go to bed.  I could tell she was getting agitated and she started to test my husband by hitting him.  She knows that hitting people isn’t allowed, but she wasn’t sure how else to express the anger and frustration bubbling up inside her.

So I redirected her hitting to the stuffed animals on her bed.  Before we knew it, my husband, daughter, and I were all throwing and hitting and jumping on the stuffed animals yelling, “Take that!” and “Aaarrgghh!”  We all had a blast and each of us got an opportunity to express any unexpressed anger or frustration.  I can’t even tell you how satisfying it was to slam that pink elephant into the wall.  It was truly liberating.  The best part was that after the anger release, she was tired and ready to wind down to sleep.

So the next time anyone at your house is whining or getting agitated, try playing a power game.  Sometimes, just having an appropriate outlet for anger, frustration, or powerlessness is all a child really needs.  And when offered a healthy way to release those feelings, kids can easily return to their usual kind and cooperative selves.

Wish me luck with the rest of toddler-hood, I have a feeling I’m going to need it!

Have a great week, Shelly

Transitions are almost always challenging for young people and that goes for both large and small transitions. Moving from bath time to bed can produce a lot of upset, so it makes sense that starting back to school (or starting school for the first time) would also cause some emotional ripples.

First, know that you are not alone. When I taught preschool there were always a few children in every class who had a difficult time separating at the beginning of the year. But after several weeks, everyone was transitioning joyfully.

Now, I’ll give you the same information and advice I gave the parents in the classroom that helped to resolve the upset quickly and fairly easily.

The most important thing about a morning school separation is that it is QUICK and that the parent is calm, comfortable, and relaxed. The more you can leave your own feelings of sadness, upset, and anxiety at home, the better your child will do.

I don’t mean to imply that you won’t HAVE upsetting feelings, just that you’ll do your best to experience and work through those feelings AWAY from the door of your child’s classroom. So, when you’re at the door, you’re projecting calm confidence, trust, and warmth. This is HUGE.

Why quick? The more time you spend helping your child get his things into his locker, making sure he has his lunch, asking the teacher about the schedule for the day, and giving him multiple hugs and kisses, the more time he has to recognize that you are uncomfortable (or that he is). Also, when your child sees you in and around his classroom, he begins to wonder why you can’t just spend your day at school with him. After all, you are one of his favorite people in the whole world, so why wouldn’t he want you to stick around?

What your child may fail to realize is that school is an opportunity for her to branch out socially and become more independent. It’s a growth opportunity and having a parent present could actually undermine her motivation to reach out to new friends.

But, when new friends and teachers are the only choice available, you’d be surprised how quickly children can acclimate and enjoy the new environment. Often, the kids who have the greatest separation anxiety are the same children who bond to the teachers and other kids quickly. The classroom becomes a new base of operations and they easily rely on their new community for the help and support they need. This is a very important skill.

Do you remember a time from your own childhood when you felt unsure, afraid, and you wanted to cling to someone or something familiar? Giving your child a keepsake, a slap bracelet, a hand stamp, or some other reminder of you can be a great way for your child to remain connected to you, even as she stretches her wings socially. But don’t go too crazy, leaving elaborate notes in her lunch every day. Take your cue from your child, what does she ask for and need?

Acknowledging your child’s feelings can help too, but again, be brief. Something like, “Honey, I know you’re feeling worried and that’s OK. I think some other kids are feeling the same way. If you need help, you can ask your teacher. I bet you’ll have a great day. I love you and I’ll see you at 3:00,” should be sufficient. And you can always talk more after school.

Next, if your child is having a difficult time separating, talk to his teacher and ask about their policy on separation anxiety. Some schools will call you if your child is inconsolable for longer than half an hour or so. Or it may be OK for you to call to check in. I always loved giving worried parents the news that their child was happily playing and working just minutes after they had left the room.

You’ve chosen to put your child in preschool, private, or public school for a host of reasons, so take a moment to ground yourself and feel into those reasons. You know what is best for your child, now it’s time to trust, let go, and enjoy the ride.

Have a wonderful week, Shelly

The first time I heard about elimination communication it sounded completely insane to me. I heard wild stories of families who NEVER used diapers and I pictured an entire house covered in plastic drop cloths with some pretty gross repercussions. Sure, if we were living outside and could just hold our babies away from our bodies like I read about in “The Continuum Concept,” I could imagine not using diapers. But I live in a house, and it really bothers me when my dogs or cats fail to go in their designated locations, so why would I allow my child to just pee and poop all over the place? At that moment I decided that EC was not for me.

But after my daughter was born, I read a really great article in Mothering magazine (Oh how I wish they were still publishing!) about elimination communication. In the article the author described lots of different ways that families could go about practicing EC to various degrees. Some families used diapers some of the time, and other used them most of the time but also watched for signals from their child that it was time to go. Through the article I was introduced to the idea of “catching” my child’s pee and poop and that’s when it happened. I became an EC mom.

A good friend of mine had given me TONS of great baby gear hand me downs, so I dug out the small Baby Bjorn potty you see in the photo. When my daughter was about a month old I took off her cloth diaper and sat her up on the potty. She didn’t seem to like the feeling of the cold plastic on her toosh, so I grabbed a pre-fold, cut a hole in it and put it between her butt and the potty. That one sacrificed cloth diaper made all the difference! After that, my little one was happy to sit on the potty whenever I thought to try. But, she didn’t actually go in the potty yet. That was OK with me though, I just wanted her to get used to sitting on the potty and wasn’t attached to achieving any specific goals yet. Looking back at my baby calendar I see that she had her first poop on the potty at 8wks and her first pee at 10wks old!

After my little one had some better muscle control and was able to sit in her Bumbo (around 4 months old) I put the potty in front of the mirror in her room and sat with her for up to 10min. at a time. She loved her potty time! We would make faces, look at books, and talk about increasing our intrathecal pressure, complete with grunting. and bearing down together. At that point she would occasionally go during potty time. We were making progress!

I still wasn’t able to see any signs from her or predict when she would need to go, but we just tried a little potty time here and there when the mood struck me. And then we introduced solid foods at 6mo. Whoa! Suddenly my daughter’s poops became solid and then I noticed that she seemed to go at around the same time, during the morning between wake up and her first nap. After some experimentation I narrowed it down and caught a poop! I was so happy not to have to scrub that cloth diaper that I became determined to catch more.

At some point during her sixth month, I realized that I always pee when I wake up in the morning, so she might need to as well. I tried putting her on the potty first thing after we woke up in the morning and magic happened. She peed AND pooped that first morning and has almost every morning since. I was elated! I had suddenly gone from soaking, scrubbing, sunning, washing and drying poopy diapers to simply dumping the poop in the toilet and getting on with our day!

Now we put her on the potty after she wakes from sleep and a couple more times throughout the day and she almost always pees. She clearly knows what the potty is for (and has since around that six month mark) and although she will hang out for up to thirty minutes if needed, she more often goes within five to ten minutes and then waits for me to wipe and re-diaper her. Yesterday, for the very first time, she finished her business and then stood up.

I know that a lot of EC parents talk about the importance of noticing the cues and the deep connection they feel with their child about these important bodily functions, but for us, EC is more about practicality and ease.

I also like the notion that I’ll never have to “potty train” my child. Sitting on the potty is just something we do every day already. And just for the record, I don’t think our version of EC is something we could only do because I’m a work from home mom. We’ve taken our potty to Grammy’s house and even on vacation with us! All of my daugher’s grandparents and babysitters have used the potty with her seamlessly.

The next step in our journey will be to teach my little one how to signal when she needs to go. So, I’ve begun signing “toilet” every time I say the word potty. No luck yet, but given our success so far, I’m not too worried. I’m pretty sure that she’ll put two and two together in no time.

So, how many of you have gone on your own EC journey? I would love to hear how it went or is going. Please share your stories with us!

And have a wonderful week, Shelly

And, by the time you’re actually getting a good night’s sleep (except for the occasional accident or vomiting in the bed), they’re running around like crazy people and screaming, “Play with me! Play with me!” and wanting to go to the park and the pool and everywhere else they can think of.  Whew!  I feel tired just thinking about it.

I’ve heard some divorced parents admit that they’re actually relieved when they’re kids go to their co-parent’s house.  And now that I’m a parent myself, I can see why!  It really does take a village, doesn’t it?  I think we should all have statues erected in our honor if we survive parenthood long enough to see our adult children become exhausted parents.

As a kid, one of the things I never understood was why my parents didn’t have the energy to play with me all the time or take me wherever I wanted.  The idea that resting would be more fun than constant activity was a completely foreign concept.  I think the only time I was still was when I was mesmerized by the television or forced to sleep.

One of the things I loved about being a nanny for twins was that at least they always had each other to play with.  But the truth is, you can’t always just pawn off the littler kids with the bigger kids.  In fact, sometimes that creates more of a hassle than a help.

So, what do we do when we’re tuckered out and our kids are raring to go?  Well, I like to set them up with a self-directed activity and then sit nearby and read a book or rest while they are engaged in playing and learning at the same time.  Here’s a post I wrote a while back about some things kids can do mostly on their own.

There are tons of things that kids would love to do themselves, but often it feels like more work to let them.  Take cooking for instance.  Everyone I know loves to eat cookies.  And kids love to mix and bake them too.  Sure, they’re likely to make more of a mess than you would, but amazingly, they also often ENJOY cleaning up too!  I wrote a post about how to get kids to help with clean up too.

But, once you have them set up with an activity, the really challenging part begins.  We as parents must choose to take care of ourselves and actually REST, rather than jumping up to do another load of laundry or cleaning up after our kids while they’re still making a mess.  We need to learn to stop and take a break!

So, what can you do to maximize the 5-10min. window you have when the kids are happily engaged?  Here’s a list of some of my favorites:

1)     Close my eyes and take deep breaths (or meditate)

2)    Read a novel

3)    Take a bath

4)   Sit outside and watch the wind blowing through the trees

5)    Yoga

6)    Take a cat nap

7)    Smell the roses (literally)

What are the things that you could do to maximize the few minutes of restful time you can squeeze out of the day?  And how else do you deal with the exhaustion of parenting?  Please let me know, I could really use some help on this one!

Have a great week, Shelly