I Trust You

I’ve been working on my new eCourse that will be available this spring and so I’ve been thinking a lot about my parenting values, my priorities, and the ultimate messages I want my daughter to receive both verbally and non-verbally through my parenting.

Of course I want her to know she’s loved and cherished and that she can do anything she puts her mind to. I want her to know she’s valuable and capable and that her opinion matters. And as I pondered these things there was one message that kept showing up. read more

Hooray for Mistakes!

I’ve been reading a very interesting book about exactly why intrinsic motivation is so important for children AND for adults. It’s called “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck and in it Dweck describes two opposing mindsets we all experience.

She refers to the first as the “fixed mindset.” This is the voice in our heads that tells us that we have a fixed amount of talent, intelligence, or skill at a certain task and there’s nothing we can do to change it. This mindset also associates effort with a lack of natural talent. This is the part of you that thinks you’re just not a fill in the blank kind of person. “I’m not artistic.” Or “I’m just not very playful.” Are examples of the fixed mindset. read more

Seven Strategies to Transform Challenging Moments

Sometimes I wish my child wasn’t such a perfect reflection of my emotional state. I was grumpy yesterday and how did my daughter respond? By not listening, not helping, and saying no to everything. I knew that she was just responding to my own “no” energy, yet I somehow couldn’t pull myself out of my funk and become more of a “yes.” Instead, I just simmered in my “everything’s wrong” mentality and watched my child’s behavior become more erratic, clingy, defiant, and reactive as the day wore on. read more

Sometimes what kids need most from us is nothing at all

I think one of the most challenging lessons I’ve learned as a teacher and as a parent is when NOT to intervene. It is actually excruciating for me to hear a child struggling and not rush over to help. But sometimes doing nothing is actually the best thing we can do for a child. When we sit back, shut up, and allow our children to experience their struggle fully, they also get to experience the joy of conquest and the knowledge that they can rely on themselves to work through a challenge.

If you know me at all, you know that I’m not suggesting we allow our children to experience constant struggle. Emotional upset is counterproductive to learning overall. However, there are moments when we all rush in too quickly, offer too much coaching, or otherwise deflate the attempts our children are making to learn something new. read more

Tender Transitions

In life there are big transitions, little transitions and everything in between but there’s one thing you can be sure of, there WILL be transitions. Shifting from one thing to the next is challenging for children and adults alike, especially when the transition wasn’t their idea.

I’m in the midst of a big transition right now. We are so fortunate to have my husband’s parents living here full time and being active participants in caring for our daughter. And if you’re thinking we’re the luckiest people ever, then get ready for more, because we ALSO have my mom and step dad here for six months of the year! It is SO incredibly helpful to have so many people adoring and caring for Julia, but there’s a dark side to this beautiful gift too. My parents leave and are gone for six months of the year. read more