Comments on: Conscious Despair

By: Babystyle

Babystyle — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:28:16 +0000

I agree with Christee, I think its good to be honest wiht our kids, they are not stupid and can pick up on our feelings very quickly, from a very young age. In future you should be more open wiht your feelings and you may be surprised at how your childern react poitively to them,

Good luck, i welled up too “when he said thanks for everything”

Christina

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:58:21 +0000

Thank you, Alina. And lots of love to you all the way over there .

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:57:53 +0000

Oh, I hear you, and it does sound difficult. It also sounds like you feel very out-of-control. One thing that has been helping me, as I wrote about a couple of weeks ago (scroll down) is realizing that while I don’t have control over what might be happening around me, I can think about how I *want* it to go for the next time, and *decide* how *I* will be. Hey, I could be calm! And loving, even when others are upset! And try to understand what’s upsetting them. What a concept. Though it might not go perfectly, this at least gives you a better chance of having it go how you want. Let us know how it goes. And hang in there.

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:44:15 +0000

Ooohhh, I love it! Juicy creativity, joy and laughter. More, more, more!

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:42:50 +0000

Thanks, Robert…now how do I remember to do that when I’m already “freaked out…?” Thanks for the reminder!

By: Robert

Robert — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:43:13 +0000

It’s difficult to know what’s best when you’re freaking out in your head. The key is to learn how to relax, take a step back and understand what’s going on. That way you can make educated decisions and deal with things properly with a cool head. Great post Jill!
Robert´s last blog ..South African Man Marries Four Women Simultaneously–Talk About a Need for Life Insurance!

By: Christee

Christee — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 04:25:25 +0000

Jill, Good post! It think it’s important to be honest with our children about our feelings in ways appropriate for them to understand. Once when I’d had it one evening, I told my daughter, “I’m tired of being the mommy. You can be the mommy. I want to be the child.” Then I threw a mild fit, “Waa, waa, waa. I never get my way. You’re so mean to make me go to bed.” My daughter immediately picked up on the role playing and countered, “But you need your rest, daughter. It’s important for your body to get enough sleep. I’m sorry but Mommy says go to bed.” By the end of this short episode we both were laughing and enjoyed sharing each other’s perspectives. It helped my daughter see that I was human and sometimes wanted to be cared for. It helped us both lighten the mood and provided incentives to cooperate with each other.

By: tsahai

tsahai — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:33:39 +0000

Thankyou for the newsletter , it has very good examples and tips, my problem and the problem of my son are not in any of the catagories I have seen in your site. I have a very controling husband and controling father for my son.
In my house there is a lot of yelling, my son gets so upset and doen,t want to do any thing, he hates to do home work, doesn,t like to study . In general he doesn,t care about any thing except x box and computer. Because of his lack of interest in progressing in his studies at the moment he doesn,t have access to x box until he does well in school. Even then he just doesn,t show any interest . WE don.t want him to be behind so we are over him not to fail. the yelling continues every afternoon and the problem between me and his father is getting bigger and bigger. I don,t agree how he is handling to solve the proble. Now you see how difucult is my situation?

By: alina

alina — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:08:28 +0000

beautiful jill. it’s so important to accept where we are and then the children do too…

By: Tricia Mitchell

Tricia Mitchell — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:41:55 +0000

amen, amen, amen!

this is the issue that is on the front burner for me as a mom–”your rights end where mine begin!” how to accept my own limits, how to communicate those, how to cope when i’m fried. just this morning, i said out loud, “i just don’t have the energy to bear everybody’s suffering today.”

how else can we teach our kids to respect their own patience/energy limits if we aren’t honest about ours?