Comments on: Seek first to understand… http://www.awakeparent.com/jill/seek-first-to-understand/ Shelly Phillips offers parenting tips, help and classes Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:42:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Stacy (Mama-Om) http://www.awakeparent.com/jill/seek-first-to-understand/comment-page-1/#comment-3180 Stacy (Mama-Om) Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:04:30 +0000 http://www.awakeparent.com/?p=845#comment-3180 When I seek to understand before being understood, I find that there is more possibility for connection and collaboration... more tenderness and flexibility. I have written quite a lot about empathizing with my kids (or trying to anyway) and even trying it on myself! <a href="http://mama-om.blogspot.com/search/label/empathy" rel="nofollow">http://mama-om.blogspot.com/search/label/empathy</a> It can be an amazing experience when it really happens!! You mentioned the "hmm mmm" from your son. I find that can happen with us, too. I can often visibly see relief in my child's body when I've gotten it "right." (found you via Scott Noelle's EnjoyParenting forums... been subscribed for a while but I think this is my first comment!) When I seek to understand before being understood, I find that there is more possibility for connection and collaboration… more tenderness and flexibility.

I have written quite a lot about empathizing with my kids (or trying to anyway) and even trying it on myself! http://mama-om.blogspot.com/search/label/empathy

It can be an amazing experience when it really happens!! You mentioned the “hmm mmm” from your son. I find that can happen with us, too. I can often visibly see relief in my child’s body when I’ve gotten it “right.”

(found you via Scott Noelle’s EnjoyParenting forums… been subscribed for a while but I think this is my first comment!)

]]> By: Mia http://www.awakeparent.com/jill/seek-first-to-understand/comment-page-1/#comment-3162 Mia Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:52:03 +0000 http://www.awakeparent.com/?p=845#comment-3162 That's what my dad always says, "fair does not mean the same". Or he says, "is life fair?" (regardless of whether we say "yes" or "no" his answer is the same, "so why are you complaining then?") ;) That’s what my dad always says, “fair does not mean the same”. Or he says, “is life fair?” (regardless of whether we say “yes” or “no” his answer is the same, “so why are you complaining then?”) ;)

]]> By: Erika http://www.awakeparent.com/jill/seek-first-to-understand/comment-page-1/#comment-3150 Erika Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:42:13 +0000 http://www.awakeparent.com/?p=845#comment-3150 I repeat ad nauseum, "fairness does not mean sameness"...I also remind my son that when he was his sister's age, he did exactly what she does now and that she will never "catch up" to him, which means they will never be treated in the same way, because they will always be at different stages of their journey. I repeat ad nauseum, “fairness does not mean sameness”…I also remind my son that when he was his sister’s age, he did exactly what she does now and that she will never “catch up” to him, which means they will never be treated in the same way, because they will always be at different stages of their journey.

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