Shelly’s last blog post..Serve-yourself snack gives you more freedom

I enjoyed reading all that you shared. I’m glad for you about your pursuits, so different, and yet I imagine, complementary.

I do truly understand about getting triggered when you don’t get responded to–it happens to me fairly often! One thing I find helps, when I can manage it, is to turn around my goal–if I am trying and trying and trying to push things in a certain way, what if I tried–gasp–the opposite!? When it occurs to me, sometimes I try tuning into my son, or the person who’s not responding the way I want. It turns out they have a whole other set of needs I can discover.

The nice thing about this option is that it sets me up for success–if I set out to, as Dale Carnegie put it so well so many years ago, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood,” I’m a lot more likely to get cooperation. I might also be more likely to get someone interested in understanding me, once they feel understood.

Warmly,

Jill

I have taken great steps in creating my career again after kids and I was just deciding that now I want to somehow add in creativity and some kind of study- at least more reading time!

My vision is to start a comedy band with some girlfriends, we will get together and practice once a week and eventually perform, not sure where yet.
As far as study and reading goes, I am going to participate in a Buddhist study group, where we read commentaries on Buddhist sutras and discuss them. This group meets about twice a month with reading assignments in between.
With my daughters, I actually thought of you, Shelly and Jill, as I am wanting to work on my reactivity to the ways I get triggered by them. It feels absolutely imperative to create change around this.
I get triggered when they don’t listen to my requests, when I have to repeat myself over and over.
I’m sure I could find better ways of getting their attention as I initiate communication and also be more patient, not expecting their response to be immediate (especially with my older daughter Eva,6-almost 7, who is a dreamer and gets really wrapped up in her imaginary world).
Recently I also found myself getting triggered by them getting in my personal space while I’m working at home. Eva will try and climb up on my chair and on my desk to see my computer.
It’s been a confluence of things this week as it’s been spring break, the kids are at home and I still have work to do, plus some P.M.S..
So I’m aware that the kids may want more attention than I’ve had for them and I’ve had less patience than I might at other times of the month…urgh!

Thanks for being here,

love,
R. Moon