I have a confession to make…

I have a confession to make. So first let me set the scene, I’m with my 16 mo. old daughter and she reaches for something. Now I have to quickly decide whether it’s safe for her to have. If it’s not, I feel pretty justified in wrenching it forcefully from her grip. Scissors, sharp knives, push pins, and electrical cords are all things in that category for me.

But then there are other times when I simply don’t WANT her to have the object of her desire. The truth is, sometimes I grab stuff away from her. Wow, I feel so vulnerable sharing that. And I feel awful afterward, especially if she’s left upset and crying. So I’m declaring right this moment that I’m committed to stopping this behavior. I will no longer grab things from my daughter (unless they’re truly dangerous items). read more

Educational programming increases violent behavior!

Another shocker from “Nurture Shock,” preschoolers who watched educational programming increased in violent behavior almost as much as kids who watched violent programs did. Researchers were stunned when their data revealed that educational shows significantly increased relational violence in preschool aged kids. That means that the more educational television a child watched, the more likely they were to withdraw their friendship, tell others “You can’t play with me,” and lie about their friends. Kids were more bossy, controlling and manipulative, the more educational programming they watched! read more

Whispering Magic

Thinking back to all the times when I was in a classroom or a house full of kids who were all running around and screaming their little heads off I suddenly remembered the one thing that turned yelling into quiet voices. I whispered.

Now you might think that whispering in a room full of screaming kids wouldn’t have much impact, but I’ve found that screaming is the thing that makes the least impact. The kids just thought I was playing along with their game and continued to scream unless I really lost it, which I later felt bad about. read more

Playing with power

Well, it has happened.  My sweet baby is already becoming a willful toddler.  The past week or so has been filled with frustrating moments for her and for anyone near her.  She has begun to whine.  She is clinging to us like she thinks we’ll disappear if we’re out of her sight.  And of course, she’s also starting to walk.

Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response.  Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development.  And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills.  Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings.  When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down. read more

Is Big picking on Little?

Siblings. They can play well together, enjoy one another, and be super sweet to each other, and then in an instant the tables can turn. Suddenly you’re rushing to the aid of one child, admonishing the other, and feeling frazzled and confused about what really happened.

A LOT can happen in an instant, and it’s unrealistic to think that you can be there in every moment. So, what can you do to foster a healthy sibling relationship and what is the appropriate response when things go haywire?

If your kids are experiencing some difficulties in their relationship the very first thing to do is to consider the big picture. What is the overall feeling between them? Does your younger child feel afraid of your older child? Does your older child seem to feel jealous of attention the younger child receives? read more