Category: Behavior

Creating the emotional state you want, it’s easier than you might think!

Today I want to share something I learned from NLP (otherwise known as neuro-linguistic programming) called a “state change”.  We’re always in some sort of emotional state, whether happy, sad, excited, or frustrated.  And often it feels like we’re at the whim of our emotions.  When I’m frustrated it seems like there is no way […]

The development of will

What’s it like to be a 2-4 year old? (an excerpt from my soon to be released ebook!) As an infant and young toddler your child saw himself as an extension of you.  He had very little sense of distinction between himself and his parents.  In fact, if you think about it you can understand […]

Creating the culture of your home

It seems like just about the time we feel we’ve given all we can and we need some “me time” kids suddenly need even more from us.  We can become frustrated and resentful and begin to give out of obligation or guilt, rather than giving from true generosity.  If that’s what’s happening for you, my […]

Setting boundaries with kids

In my parenting coaching I get a lot of questions from parents about how to discipline effectively and what to do instead of time-outs, spanking, yelling and other common discipline tactics. When I think about the word “discipline” I think it sets up a disconnecting power dynamic where I’m in charge all of the time […]

Free online parenting retreat!

Parenting is a wonderful, but challenging, journey. No instruction manuals, no definitive “right” or “wrong” methods. And, of course, each child is different! But for one special weekend (May 25-27) you can give yourself a break… while getting your parenting questions answered, brainstorming solutions and learning tips and techniques that work for today’s kids – […]

What to do about potty talk

Isn’t it amazing what kids find funny?  I’ve been surprised more than once by what seems hilarious to a 2, 4 or 6 year old.  And then I remember, their sense of humor is just developing.  Kids this age have a challenging time understanding word play and innuendo, but they do know that burps, farts, […]

Giving kids power helps them cooperate

If you’re noticing that your kids are having a difficult time cooperating or listening or generally following your lead, first let me remind you, you’re not alone.  Lots of parents go through this difficulty every day.  I know it can be super frustrating when you’re just trying to get things done, or get to the […]

Seek first to understand…

In his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey enjoins us to “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” As hard as this may be to remember to do with other adults sometimes, I find it even harder to remember to do with my son. Recently I got my son and his stepbrother […]

The beautiful urge to bite and what to do about it

Young people are discovering their world and constantly coming up with strategies to meet their needs.  Sometimes these strategies cause pain and upset in others and are experienced as destructive. The most common examples of destructive behaviors in 1-5 year olds are hitting and biting.  Older kids often use their words to destructive means.  And […]

Another look at demands

We don’t blog much about, and certainly don’t advocate much for, demands. But sometimes a seemingly rash move like a demand can really shake things up–in good ways. Last week a good friend of mine back east quit his job. His boss, who rarely had anything but criticism and sarcasm for him said, “I didn’t […]