Wouldn’t it be great if we could just rewind our lives and have a do over whenever we wanted?  That’s one thing I appreciate about spending time with kids.  Children are almost always up for granting us a do over.  Most haven’t yet developed the ability to hold a grudge.  And even if they have, they’re often incredibly forgiving. It’s just one more lesson we can learn from the kids in our lives.

Yesterday I accidentally bonked my daughter in the nose as I was climbing into bed with her.  She started to cry and said “Bonk” through her tears. But then she reached out to me for comfort.  I apologized, we hugged, and it was as if the incident never happened.  In a way, she let me rewind and have a do over.  I was so grateful.

My husband and I sometimes give one another do-overs too.  I’ve been known to say, “Oops, that’s not what I meant to say, can I rewind please?”  He is often amazingly willing to forget the first statement and listen to the second.  This is a skill that requires a conscious effort to develop.

At least for me, it is often much easier to latch on to the thing my husband said that upsets me, rather than paying attention to the five things he said that were uplifting.  Do you do the same thing?

Luckily, he points it out to me when I’m overly focused on the negative.  And usually I’m able to let things go.  But it wasn’t always this way for me.  I’ve held my share of grudges, that’s for sure.  And when I think back to how it felt to hold that anger and frustration in my body, it felt really crappy.  I really do think it’s true that holding a grudge hurts us more than it hurts the person we’re angry with.

So I’m curious, are there any grudges that you’re willing to let go of this week?  Can you give your friend or loved one a do-over?  And if you’re not ready yet, what will it take for you to be able to let it go?

Watch out for the tendency to require that the other person do something differently in order to earn your forgiveness. The reality is that we can only change ourselves and our thoughts, never another person.

However, when I’ve been able to let go of my grudges and forgive my loved ones, I’ve been amazed at how differently they showed up afterward. The very person I thought was incapable of deep emotional connection actually invited ME to go deeper.  And the one I thought was cold and uncaring became so soft and sweet.

Somehow by accepting people just as they are, we activate such a pure state of love that the other person naturally gravitates toward our ideal vision of them.  Or maybe not, but that’s how I like to look at it.

Are there things you can love and accept about your children that will allow them to show up differently for you?  Let’s all give our kids, spouses, friends and family a do over this week.  Together we can change a sucky day into a lovely one.

Thanks for sharing the journey with me, Shelly

The bad news is it’s completely up to you to set the tone of your household and to maintain your commitment to having a peaceful and loving home life.  The good news is, your children WILL follow your lead easily and naturally.

I have a whole curriculum on this topic which is under development and it’s way too much to go into today, but I wanted share the tip that has made the  biggest difference for the parents I’ve worked with.

Conspiring with your family to lavish one another with acts of kindness. 

This one activity can completely change the energy of your home from competition and animosity to collaboration and kindness.   So how do you begin?

First, consider each member of your family and come up with a nice thing you and your child or children can do for them.  At first it’s helpful to make a list so that you can keep track of the kind acts you plan to infuse into your home.  After you’ve gotten some momentum going, these kinds of acts will become second nature and will happen spontaneously and often in your home, even without your direct participation.  Your list might look something like this:

• Attack Dad with hugs, kisses, and “I love you’s” on Sunday morning
• Make a crown and magic wand for Rachel and then do her bidding for 15min.
• Tell Jason 3 things we appreciate about him
• Cheer for Dad when he gets back from his run
• Let Connor choose his favorite dinner
• Pretend to be a magic genie and give Claire three wishes
• Take out the trash for Jason (or do another chore for him)
• Read a story to Claire
• Hide a surprise gift for Connor in his closet
• Pick flowers and arrange them for Mom
• Play basketball with Connor and Rachel
• Send a thank you note to Grandma

Once you have a good-sized list of acts of kindness, breathe and relax and remember that your family will help you do these things.  You are not alone and it’s not your job to DO all of these things.  Your work is to come up with some initial ideas and help your whole family implement them.

Next, choose an item on the list and go to one or more of your children to begin to conspire with them to offer this act of kindness.  This might sound something like this:

“Hey Jason, are you busy right now?  I have an idea of something sweet we can do for Claire.  Would you like to help me pamper her?”  If your child isn’t interested, that’s OK, just go to another family member and ask.

You may want to begin by lavishing the child who is in the most distress or who exhibits the most animosity toward others.  Remember that picking fights or lashing out is an indicator that your child is needing something.  So, by offering your love, kindness, and generosity to the child who seems to deserve it least, you’re doing a couple of things.

First, you’re modeling for your whole family how you’re committed to treating one another, no matter what THEY DO.  You are lavishing your child with love and affection for being his wonderful self even after he has lashed out at his sister because you know that he is innately good and kind, he has just temporarily lost his ability to show it.

Second, you’re nurturing a person who clearly needs your love and attention,  and you’re teaching your whole family to see unkind outbursts as a signal of need, rather than something to be punished for or retaliated against.

This sets up a positive cycle in your home in which negativity and hurtfulness are quickly bombarded with loving attention.  And amazingly, giving love to your reactive child can actually eradicate the underlying unmet needs and allow the child to regain his own sense of kindness and generosity.

I’m curious, have you ever tried anything like this before?  How did it go?  Do you have questions or concerns about implementing this?  Please leave me a comment below.

And have a fantastic day, Shelly

As I pondered the idea of background parenting I couldn’t help thinking that working for a paycheck is probably the most time consuming form of background parenting that exists and sometimes one parent does considerably more of it than the other.  Single parents definitely spend a bunch of their parenting time doing this type of background parenting.

I’m bummed that we’re forced to take time away from our kids so that we can make money to pay for food, rent or a mortgage, and other items.  But the kicker is the money we end up paying for childcare professionals to take care of our kids!  Personally, I’d much rather be with my daughter than pay someone else to.  And I know LOTS of parents who feel the same way.   But sometimes there doesn’t seem to be much of a choice.

On the other hand, I’ve been a childcare professional and I know I took great care of the kids in my charge and I loved them all dearly.  I know some really great childcare professionals and they absolutely deserve to be paid well.  Childcare is a challenging job.

My husband and I are very blessed to have parents here in Bend (they moved here to be closer to our daughter…and us) so I know that when I’m working for a paycheck (from home, mind you), my daughter is busy bonding with her grandparents.  But I know that we’re in a very unique situation.  This is definitely not the norm.  Most people are forced to use some kind of daycare or preschool to cover child-care while they work.  And in some cases they end up taking home a ridiculously small amount once you factor in the cost of childcare.

A few years ago my mom and I went to France and a woman there told me about the French policies regarding maternity leave.  As I recall, parents got a full two years of leave from their jobs with a percentage of their pay and could split up the time any way they liked between mom and dad.  They were also provided in-home help in the first several months, all paid for by the French government.  Now I know we don’t live in France, and we probably don’t pay nearly as much in taxes, but the thing that strikes me about this is the huge difference between the perceived value of spending time with our young children.

In France the system was set up to SUPPORT parents getting to spend time with their children.  Here in the US, that is definitely not the case, at least not yet.  Instead, we’re encouraged to drop our kids off at daycare where the ratio of infants to adults is 3 or 4:1 and for preschoolers it’s as much as 12:1.

I’m frustrated about this and I also feel somewhat hopeless.  I have no idea what I can do to change things, but spending most of our time doing background parenting and only a little bit of it doing connection parenting just isn’t good for kids OR parents.  So, what can we do about it?

How have you come to terms with this in your family?  I would love to hear your story.  Please leave me a comment if you feel inspired to do so.

And have a wonderful week!  Warmly, Shelly

I don’t want my daughter to be afraid of me or of the punishment I might hand down.  So I’ve chosen the most peaceful parenting I can possibly muster.  But if punitive discipline is out, does that mean I’m a total softie and my kids walk all over me?  Definitely not.

In fact, setting clear and consistent boundaries is one of the best ways to help your child feel secure.  In the Montessori schools in which I worked, we practiced a logical or natural consequences approach to setting boundaries with kids.  And it really worked!  Children understood why we did things a certain way and they were usually happy to cooperate.

Somehow setting boundaries was easier when it was my job to be completely respectful of the child.  Now that I think about it, it was much easier not to swear when I was a preschool teacher and my job was on the line.   But now that I’m a parent, I slip up sometimes.  It’s a much different challenge to be respectful of a child 24 hours a day than it is for six or eight hours a day five times a week.

Today I’d like to explore a different kind of discipline, the kind of discipline that allows us to complete a difficult task or to master a new skill.  Lately I’ve been thinking that by developing interests and practicing one or several disciplines myself as well as encouraging my child to do the same, the need for any other kind of discipline could simply melt away.  Maybe I’m crazy and my daughter just hasn’t hit her “difficult” period yet, but this sure seems to be working for us so far.

By encouraging her to develop her own interests and explore them independently, my relationship with my daughter becomes more about facilitating and supporting her desires, rather than circumventing them or redirecting her.  Oh, trust me, there are plenty of opportunities to redirect her.  But the more I’m able to just go with her flow and allow her to explore what she’s interested in, the more confident she becomes and the more she enjoys learning.

We’re setting up a positive loop.  She seeks out something interesting and explores it, she enjoys what she learns and then she seeks out something new and interesting again.  And we’re also building our connection because she understands that I deeply care about her and want her to explore her interests and fulfill her purpose in life.  So really, she’s developing self-discipline!

That way, in the times when I do need to set a firm boundary for safety or for some other reason, she knows that I’m not just trying to punish her.  I’m actually making choices based on what will give her the most freedom she can safely have.

So what do you think?  Can we reduce the need for “discipline” by supporting our children to develop their interests and practice self-discipline?  I would love to hear your take on my idea.  Please leave me a comment!

And have a fantastic week, Shelly

Transitions are almost always challenging for young people and that goes for both large and small transitions. Moving from bath time to bed can produce a lot of upset, so it makes sense that starting back to school (or starting school for the first time) would also cause some emotional ripples.

First, know that you are not alone. When I taught preschool there were always a few children in every class who had a difficult time separating at the beginning of the year. But after several weeks, everyone was transitioning joyfully.

Now, I’ll give you the same information and advice I gave the parents in the classroom that helped to resolve the upset quickly and fairly easily.

The most important thing about a morning school separation is that it is QUICK and that the parent is calm, comfortable, and relaxed. The more you can leave your own feelings of sadness, upset, and anxiety at home, the better your child will do.

I don’t mean to imply that you won’t HAVE upsetting feelings, just that you’ll do your best to experience and work through those feelings AWAY from the door of your child’s classroom. So, when you’re at the door, you’re projecting calm confidence, trust, and warmth. This is HUGE.

Why quick? The more time you spend helping your child get his things into his locker, making sure he has his lunch, asking the teacher about the schedule for the day, and giving him multiple hugs and kisses, the more time he has to recognize that you are uncomfortable (or that he is). Also, when your child sees you in and around his classroom, he begins to wonder why you can’t just spend your day at school with him. After all, you are one of his favorite people in the whole world, so why wouldn’t he want you to stick around?

What your child may fail to realize is that school is an opportunity for her to branch out socially and become more independent. It’s a growth opportunity and having a parent present could actually undermine her motivation to reach out to new friends.

But, when new friends and teachers are the only choice available, you’d be surprised how quickly children can acclimate and enjoy the new environment. Often, the kids who have the greatest separation anxiety are the same children who bond to the teachers and other kids quickly. The classroom becomes a new base of operations and they easily rely on their new community for the help and support they need. This is a very important skill.

Do you remember a time from your own childhood when you felt unsure, afraid, and you wanted to cling to someone or something familiar? Giving your child a keepsake, a slap bracelet, a hand stamp, or some other reminder of you can be a great way for your child to remain connected to you, even as she stretches her wings socially. But don’t go too crazy, leaving elaborate notes in her lunch every day. Take your cue from your child, what does she ask for and need?

Acknowledging your child’s feelings can help too, but again, be brief. Something like, “Honey, I know you’re feeling worried and that’s OK. I think some other kids are feeling the same way. If you need help, you can ask your teacher. I bet you’ll have a great day. I love you and I’ll see you at 3:00,” should be sufficient. And you can always talk more after school.

Next, if your child is having a difficult time separating, talk to his teacher and ask about their policy on separation anxiety. Some schools will call you if your child is inconsolable for longer than half an hour or so. Or it may be OK for you to call to check in. I always loved giving worried parents the news that their child was happily playing and working just minutes after they had left the room.

You’ve chosen to put your child in preschool, private, or public school for a host of reasons, so take a moment to ground yourself and feel into those reasons. You know what is best for your child, now it’s time to trust, let go, and enjoy the ride.

Have a wonderful week, Shelly

But attunement is not simply empathy for another person’s emotional experience.  It’s an energetic matching game.  We may feel the sadness, but we’re not really attuning unless we’re matching the physical and non-physical energy of the person we’re with.  Attunement is the ultimate connection.  It’s a joining and sharing of an experience, an experience of oneness.

I often feel this oneness while nursing my daughter or in playful moments when she’s on the changing table or when we’re rocking in the rocking chair and she relaxes, resting her whole body against mine.  Connection through attunement is incredibly important for secure attachment to happen.  And, the oneness can’t happen all the time.  In fact, it would feel awfully strange to even attempt to experience attunement for an entire day.

We need connection, and we need separation too.  In fact, it’s the dance between connection and separation that makes our human experience so rich and dynamic.  We may experience a beautiful moment of attunement and later we’ll each go off by ourselves to have some solitude.  It’s an ebb and flow like so many other things in life.  And each part is just as important as the other.

Right now I’m reading a really interesting novel told from a five-year-old boy’s point of view.  The thing I find so fascinating about it is how accurate the author is about the details of the thoughts and emotions the little boy experiences.  The boy has a favorite spoon he calls “meltedy spoon” and when I read the words “meltedy spoon” I am instantly transported back into the classroom with 3-5 year olds.  What a perfect example of really attuning to the mind of a five year old.

This week, pay special attention to the moments of attunement that you share with your child and then consciously allow your child to separate from you when he’s ready.

Instead of hovering over him at the park, intruding on his playtime, bring a book and let him have his own experience.  Then, after an especially fun moment, he might just run over to you and excitedly share what happened.  That’s your opportunity to put the book down, make eye contact, feel the excitement in your own body and attune with him.  Maybe you’ll even be inspired to jump up and run around with him for a while.

But again, as soon as you notice him going off on his own, resist any urge you might have to follow, and go back to your book instead.  By allowing your child to determine the length of the cycle between attunement and separation, you’re reassuring him that you’re available when he needs you, but you’re not going to interrupt his flow.

If, on the other hand, your tendency is to encourage your child to play on her own more often so that you can do your adult activities, then your challenge this week is to really stop, drop what you’re doing, and attune to your child when she reaches out for connection.  Remember, that means matching her energy.  So, if she’s slow and methodical, you’ll practice slowing down too.  And if she’s giggling and gasping for breath, see how much you can feel what that must feel like.  Pay attention to any sensations in your body as you practice attuning with your children.  Often, we can find new levels of empathy when we’re willing to try to step into our children’s shoes more fully.

I would love to hear about your own experiences of attunement and separation.  Is the natural ebb and flow easy or difficult for you?  Does your timing match up with your child’s?  And how do you feel when you notice your child coming toward you or moving away from you?

I hope you’ll all have a fantastic week, Shelly

This week the concept that keeps popping up is that the ability to tell a cohesive narrative about our lives makes all the difference in attachment and parenting.  I first read the idea in “Parenting from the Inside Out” by Siegel and Hartzell and then just moments ago, I saw a video on facebook about the exact same concept.  Coincidence?  I think not.

OK, so the idea is that our own ability to tell a cohesive narrative about our childhood events and experiences positively impacts our ability to connect with our children.  I’m not exactly sure why this is the case, but apparently researchers at UC Berkeley are actually able to predict the attachment styles of children who aren’t even born yet based on their parents narratives.  Whoa!

I have always thought that personal growth and the ability to make sense of our lives through self reflection were important, but now I have hard evidence that this ability directly impacts how safe and secure my child will feel in her connection to me.

So I guess that means it’s time to take a hard look at anyplace where my personal narrative is incoherent.  Well, that sounds like a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  Just kidding.  A better way to find out if your narrative is complete and coherent is to start telling it.  Ask your spouse, friends, or family members if they’d be willing to listen to the story of your childhood.  And, as you share, pay attention to the times when the story flows naturally and the times when it doesn’t.  Are there long silences in which you’re frantically trying to come up with the next part?  Are their pieces that don’t make logical or chronological sense?

When you discover areas of your personal narrative that still need work, just think of yourself as a master storyteller ironing out the details of the story to make it as flowing, interesting, and clearly resolved as possible.  If telling your story is quite difficult for you, you may want to start by typing it out or journaling about it.

If you have no experience writing stories, that’s OK, just take a lesson from one of your child’s favorite storybooks.  Every coherent story has a clear beginning, middle, and end.  And there’s usually some sort of obstacle or challenge to overcome that gives the story some interest and propels the storyline forward.  My favorite stories also have a lesson or moral to be gleaned.

Luckily for all of us, we can edit our narrative at any time and we then become more available for secure attachment!  So let’s all work to create those cohesive narratives so that we’re even more available to connect with the young people in our lives.

If you want to take things a step further, then help your children to create a narrative of their own childhood.  Ask them to tell you stories from their lives.  And don’t stop asking.  Often, it isn’t until they are college aged that they can fully process some of the experiences of their childhood and go on to construct a narrative about it.  But one thing seems clear from the current research.  Helping your children to have a cohesive narrative of their childhood experiences will make them better able to connect with their own children.

But if grandkids seem a very long way off, remember that storytelling and the ability to construct a narrative will help you and your children in more ways than one.  Storytelling can help the two hemispheres of the brain work together and helps us make sense of our lives.

In “Parenting from the Inside Out” there’s a sweet story of a young girl who moves to the US from abroad and begins preschool in an English speaking preschool.  The little girl only knew a few words of English and one day when she fell and hurt her knee she quickly became very upset and didn’t seem to understand where her mother was.

Luckily, the preschool teacher was aware of the power of narratives to help children understand new concepts and so she got a doll and acted out the injury.  Then she acted out calling the doll’s mommy on the telephone, and finally she brought a “mommy” doll to pick up the injured doll from school.  The little girl relaxed and wanted to act out the story with her teacher again and again.  And when her mom arrived to pick her up, she acted out the story once again, showing her mother what had happened.

So, whether you’re introducing a new concept to your child, or just want to connect more deeply, storytelling is a magical way to help create a secure attachment.  I would love to hear all about it!  Please share your stories in the comment box below.

Have a great week, Shelly

Now that I have my own child, I definitely have more compassion for those moms.  It’s so hard to leave sometimes!  And when your little one is clinging to you and asking you to stay, I imagine it’s almost impossible to walk away.

But as my daughter and I have our first experiences of separation anxiety, I’m realizing that right now, I’m actually more upset than she is!  And after seeing lots of young kids freak out when their moms leave them at preschool, I know that I had better get a handle on my own separation anxiety now, so that I don’t transfer my upset to my beloved child.

So, I picked up Elizabeth Pantley’s “No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution” and I am really enjoying it.  Pantley says that separation anxiety for both parent and child is completely normal and natural and that it’s actually an indication of a strong and healthy attachment.  Whew!  What a relief!

OK, so now that I know that my upset is caused by my deep love for my child, I can relax a little bit and give myself some compassion.  I dearly, deeply love my daughter and want what’s best for her.  And intellectually I know that what’s best for her is to form and maintain ongoing relationships with several trusted adults and some peers.

But emotionally, sometimes I just want her all to myself.  There, I’ve said it.  So now it’s time to take stock.  And actually, I’m already making great progress in sharing her with other adults.  Her Grammy comes over twice a week, she has a Daddy day every week, and she spends several hours each week with our good friend who is a childcare professional.  She is starting to go on outings without me and so far it’s going well.

So in the moments when she needs me, I think it’s OK to go to her.  I’ve also been giving her more time by herself while I’m home and if she calls out  for me I simply call back, “Hey sweetie, I’m in here folding some laundry.  I’ll see you in a minute.”  If she gets upset, I go to her immediately, but often, just knowing that I’m nearby is enough to calm her.

Now that I think about it, I bet some of my separation anxiety comes from my own early childhood experience of going from my mom’s house to my dad’s house and back again every week.  No matter how happy I was to reunite with the parent I missed, I also had to say goodbye to a parent I loved dearly.  Hmmm, isn’t it amazing how our own experiences can color our experiences with our children?

I’m so curious, what have your experiences been with separation anxiety?  What helped you the most?  In Pantley’s book she shares a great idea about a magic bracelet that you fill with your love and send with your child to school or daycare.  I love that idea!  I also remember a children’s book about a mother raccoon (I think) giving her child a kiss on the palm that he got to take with him.  I think it’s so important to help children understand that our love stays with them even when they’re far from us.  And I guess I need to reassure myself that my daughter’s love stays too, even when she’s at her Grammy’s for the afternoon.

I hope you’re having a fantastic week.  Love, Shelly

Well hello, 21st century.  In this day and age, we are lucky if our kids can look up from their iPhones to tell us how their day went.  With a constant flux of new inventions and technologies to make our lives “easier,” we are spending more and more time away from our families.  But there is at least one time of the day that can be set aside from the hustles, bustles, and stresses that encompass our lives. Meal time is a natural choice.  We all have to eat, and as a naturally social species, we like to do so with other people.  However, traditional family dinners are dwindling and quickly becoming unconventional. Taking forty five minutes to an hour out of your day to eat as a family has great nutritional and social benefits.  Most importantly, it will create a more permanent bond with your children.

Move Over Happy Meal: Good Nutrition is in Town

Many studies have proven that children and adolescents who eat at least one meal together as a family are less likely to be obese or substance abusers in adulthood.  Furthermore, those that eat fruits and vegetables as adolescents are more likely to eat them regularly during adulthood.   Making healthy decisions for your family’s meals have long lasting impacts. Although a seven course meal covering every triangle of the food pyramid is a luxury affordable by only a lucky few, you can promote good nutrition without spending hours in the kitchen.  For those days where you are pressed for time, pick up a lean rotisserie chicken and a bag of chopped lettuce from your grocery store.  Get your significant other and children involved as well.  Have them toss the salad and do the dishes.  Anything is better than a quick trip to a fast food restaurant on your way home, followed by dinner in front of the television.

Talk About Your Day: Befriend Your Children

If you want your kids to come to you with their problems in their adolescent years, you have to start building a connected relationship from childhood.  Family dinners are a good time to develop this relationship.  Showing interest in their day, listening to their opinions, and valuing them can build deeper trust between parents and their children.  Show your kids that they can come to you even when times get tough. Most importantly, listen to what they have to say.  Although at times their ideas may sound outlandish or irresponsible, be sure to listen to why they want to do that something. Do not dismiss their ideas or plans at the forefront.  This is important for their personal development and self-esteem.

As children become adolescents, it can become difficult to convince them that eating together is important.  However, by making family dinner a fun, carefree event rather than a chore, you may have more luck as the teenage years creep up on you.  If this fails, tell them 45 minutes together is all you ask.  No smartphones, no television, no computers, just togetherness and good nutrition.

Mutual respect is an important factor in the child-parent relationship.  Family dinners are a good time to show that you respect your child’s opinions and ambitions.  Furthermore, eating healthy food together can help your children develop smarter dietary habits.  Plus, good eating habits builds healthier immune systems.  This translates to minimal doctors visits and countless savings!  Protect your wallet and your family by eating at least one meal together every single day.

This guest post is contributed by Kitty Holman, who writes on the topics of nursing colleges.  She welcomes your comments at: kitty.holman20@gmail.com.

The problem is that when someone is willing to help me, I actually have to be able to accept that help.  I’m better at it now, but receiving hasn’t always been easy for me.  Sure, I was good at receiving physical gifts, but I wasn’t so great at receiving compliments or acts of service from my friends and family.  I used to energetically push those gifts away by minimizing, deflecting, or reassuring people that I had everything handled.

And then I had an epiphany.  I realized that just as I love to help, so do other people.  I noticed that when I was able to contribute to someone else’s wellbeing, my heart sang and then my heart immediately sank as I remembered all the times that I had been unwilling to receive help and support from others.  Now I know that when I reach out for help and graciously receive it, I am actually giving a gift to the helper.  They get to feel the joy and fulfillment of knowing that they’ve contributed to me!  That one tiny realization has completely changed my relationship to both giving and receiving.

This week take stock of all the times you’ve pushed away the help and support of your friends and family.  Really take some time to feel the heaviness and pain of having refused their generosity and kindness.  After you’ve felt the impact of that, figure out your particular style of pushing away the contributions of others and resolve to become a more skilled receiver.

You may tell your friends that it’s difficult for you to receive compliments but you’d like to get better at it and then practice by taking a deep breath and saying “thank you.”  If your habit is to refuse help when it’s offered, practice saying yes more often.  And if your tendency is to keep it together, try calling a friend for support the next time you cry.

You might feel vulnerable and exposed as you practice receiving, but that’s kind of the point.  I’ve found that the more I share and expose myself, the more intimate my connections become.  And, the more intimate my connections are, the more I can relax knowing that I have friends and loved ones who love me for exactly who I am on the inside (and not just what I project on the outside).

But, that’s probably a whole other blog post.  So for now, practice receiving and report back!  I would love to hear how it goes.  Have a great week, Shelly