My Frozen Baby Fantasy

I’ve worked for YEARS to grow as a person, to understand myself, my emotions, and my reactions to the things that happen to me. I know how to understand and express my emotions responsibly, resolve conflicts, and use positive redirection to help my child thrive. But that doesn’t make me perfect and it certainly doesn’t stop all the crazy thoughts my mind decides to think.

I think every parent fantasizes about harming his or her child at one point or another. If you say you haven’t, I don’t believe you for a minute. Maybe it’s just a fleeing thought of pinching them, or a long consideration about spanking them, “for their own good.” Perhaps it’s a thought about smothering their cries or a morbid image of tossing them out of a moving car. Of course we would never DO these things. But that doesn’t mean we don’t think about it. read more

Playing with power

Well, it has happened.  My sweet baby is already becoming a willful toddler.  The past week or so has been filled with frustrating moments for her and for anyone near her.  She has begun to whine.  She is clinging to us like she thinks we’ll disappear if we’re out of her sight.  And of course, she’s also starting to walk.

Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response.  Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development.  And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills.  Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings.  When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down. read more

Attune to your child…some of the time

Attunement:  it’s a word that gets thrown around a lot in the world of parenting and psychology, but what does attunement really mean?  Attunement is an innate ability that almost all humans have to internally and externally match the experience of another person with whom they’re connecting.  When we see someone crying, we easily and naturally feel sadness ourselves.  When we are with someone who just found out that they won a big contest, we feel excitement too.

But attunement is not simply empathy for another person’s emotional experience.  It’s an energetic matching game.  We may feel the sadness, but we’re not really attuning unless we’re matching the physical and non-physical energy of the person we’re with.  Attunement is the ultimate connection.  It’s a joining and sharing of an experience, an experience of oneness. read more

The truth about separation anxiety

OK, I’ll admit it, when I was a preschool teacher I used to shake my head at the moms who had such a hard time leaving their child.  It seemed obvious to me that by prolonging their goodbyes and furrowing their brows they were only escalating their child’s separation anxiety.  If they would just leave swiftly, their child would settle in and enjoy the day much sooner!

Now that I have my own child, I definitely have more compassion for those moms.  It’s so hard to leave sometimes!  And when your little one is clinging to you and asking you to stay, I imagine it’s almost impossible to walk away. read more

Got giggles?

I’m curious, is there enough laughter in your home?  Do you often laugh and smile yourself?  Do your kids joke and play happily together?  Are there peals of laughter coursing through your hallways daily?  If not, then it’s time for a laughter make-over in your home.

Laughter is one of my favorite ways to release pent up emotions.  Sure, there are other ways like crying and anger release, but laughter is without a doubt the most fun emotional release for everybody in the household.

But how do you infuse your home with more joy and laughter?  I’ve got some ideas I’d like to share with you. read more