Tag: Frustration

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I Need a Do Over

Photo by Suzette Hibble

My day today totally sucked.  I worked hard all day but didn’t accomplish much of anything.  I felt sad and grumpy for most of the day and I missed my daughter even though she was within ear shot all day long.  I need a do over.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just rewind our lives and have a do over whenever we wanted?  That’s one thing I appreciate about spending time with kids.  Children are almost always up for granting us a do over.  Most haven’t yet developed the ability to hold a grudge.  And even if they have, they’re often incredibly forgiving. It’s just one more lesson we can learn from the kids in our lives. read more

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Playing with power

Well, it has happened.  My sweet baby is already becoming a willful toddler.  The past week or so has been filled with frustrating moments for her and for anyone near her.  She has begun to whine.  She is clinging to us like she thinks we’ll disappear if we’re out of her sight.  And of course, she’s also starting to walk.

Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response.  Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development.  And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills.  Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings.  When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down. read more

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What we can learn from Chinese mothers

Have you heard about the new book out that purports that Chinese mothers are better than western mothers?  I haven’t read the book, but I did read an article about it and I was horrified to say the least.  In the article I read there was a story of the author berating, cajoling, threatening, and punishing her child in order to get her to learn a piano piece.  The child did in fact master the piece, so the author says that her parenting was effective.  I disagree.  I think it’s wonderful that her child overcame a challenge and learned a difficult piano piece, but I disagree with HOW the mother went about the lesson.  I don’t think it’s ever OK to mock your child or call him names, even if your intent is to motivate. read more

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Three ways to stop yelling and still be heard

Although we’re all aware, caring, conscious parents, you know as well as I do that there are times when we lose control and we find ourselves saying the very words we swore we’d never say to our kids. I’m sure there have even been times when you *gasp* yelled at your kids. So, what can you do instead of yelling when you want to be heard and your little ones seem completely oblivious to your existence? I’ve got three great strategies, new things you can do in moments when you’re about to yell or scream. So, try these and let me know how it goes! read more

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Guest Blog: When we hate our kids

frustrated-parentThis week’s guest blog is by Kheyala:

“Who, me?”

Right.  Whoever would have the nerve to admit such a thing?  Yet, if we deny our own experience of inner rage or hatred, if we repress it… then guess what?  It comes out anyway.  And it comes out as the unmistakable (especially to our children), hateful undercurrent of whatever we say or do in that moment.  It’s as if we’d told them that we hated them directly, only it’s far more confusing.

Thankfully, there is another way.  It’s called compassion.  For them?  No, not yet.  For us.  You see, the truth is that we don’t ever really hate our kids.  What we are hating is what it’s like to be us in that moment when our children inadvertently step on the inner landmines of our own unfinished business.  What I’m referring to by “unfinished business” is all that subconscious material:  the old wounds, traumas, and other “little lovelies” that our body/minds never forgot but that hadn’t yet had such a magnificent opportunity to reveal and, with enough consciousness, to free. read more

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