Happy Mother’s Day! A Video Interview with Dr. Laura Markham

May 8, 2014May 9, 2014

Happy Mother’s Day! A Video Interview with Dr. Laura Markham

I recorded this video a little bit over a year ago as a part of an online eCourse I was creating, but I never finished the course and I just can’t withhold this gem of an interview any longer. So, to celebrate Mother’s Day I wanted to share this wonderful interview with Dr. Laura Markham with you.

Dr. Laura is such a fantastic resource for families and I am so happy to share her with you! I hope you enjoy the interview and I would love to hear your feedback and/or comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts below. And have a wonderful Mother’s Day. You are a gift to your family, the world, and to me. And I’m so so grateful you’re here. Love and hugs, Shelly read more

October 3, 2013October 3, 2013

8 Ways to Help Kids With Anger

Emotion regulation is one of the biggest challenges children face. Heck, emotion regulation is one of the biggest challenges anybody faces! So how can we help kids learn to feel, express, and experience their emotions in a healthy and productive way? Joy and happiness are easy to encourage and enjoy. But when kids feel frustrated and angry, it can be difficult to hold space for them and help them ease back into a regulated state without minimizing or squashing their emotional expression.

So here are my 8 ways to help your child with anger:

1) Reflect—

“It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated…is that right?” or “It seems like you’re still upset about that, are you?” are great conversation openers. Instead of asking a young child how they’re feeling, try guessing his feelings and then check in to see if you’ve guessed correctly. This helps kids to more correctly identify their feelings when they’re in the midst of them since thinking of the right words can be difficult when we’re emotionally activated. But do be careful not to simply assume you know what’s going on. It’s important to check in and ask so that our kids know that we’re tuning in and curious, rather than forcing our own ideas about what’s going on upon them. read more

January 30, 2013January 30, 2013

Helping Kids Eat Healthy Foods

Here’s a question I hear a lot from parents of toddlers (and older children too): “How do I get them to eat nutritious foods?” Well, I’m going to give it to you straight, but you might not like what I have to say on the subject.

The current research is clear about two things:

1) Eating meals together as a family produces healthier eating

2) Your kids will eat what you eat

So, if you don’t want your children to drink sugary soda, guess what? You’re going to have to give it up.

Of course, we’ve found a temporary way around that one, we just tell our daughter that we’re having an “adult drink” and so far, she accepts that. But we know it won’t last forever, and truly, sugary drinks are quickly becoming the next national health crisis. We have got to get over our addiction to them. read more

January 23, 2013

Hooray for Mistakes!

I’ve been reading a very interesting book about exactly why intrinsic motivation is so important for children AND for adults. It’s called “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck and in it Dweck describes two opposing mindsets we all experience.

She refers to the first as the “fixed mindset.” This is the voice in our heads that tells us that we have a fixed amount of talent, intelligence, or skill at a certain task and there’s nothing we can do to change it. This mindset also associates effort with a lack of natural talent. This is the part of you that thinks you’re just not a fill in the blank kind of person. “I’m not artistic.” Or “I’m just not very playful.” Are examples of the fixed mindset. read more

August 22, 2012

Forced Apologies Undermine Conflict Resolution Skills

Remember what it was like when you got into a squabble with your siblings or friends and at the end there was the inevitable, “Say you’re sorry” and you half-heartedly responded, “I’m sorry” and then the two of you were supposed to “make up” and play together again as if nothing had happened?

I don’t know about you, but I felt angry and frustrated when this happened to me as a child. And I never really meant it, even when I said it. And the other kid knew that I didn’t mean it. They didn’t mean it either. And it took a while before we were able to actually let it go and be true friends again. read more