Embracing special needs

I recently got an email from a mom who enjoys my newsletter but who sometimes feels left out because her child has special needs.  While I do tend to offer guidelines about ages and stages of development I hope that every parent can adjust those guidelines to their particular child.

Children learn and develop differently and it’s not a competition, instead, each child is learning and growing at his own rate.  Part of our job as parents, caregivers, and educators is to identify where a specific child is capable and comfortable, where he is challenged, and what’s next.  You can do this with anyone, not just children, and it certainly applies to children who have special needs and different ways of learning.

In the Montessori schools I’ve worked at in the past we often had children who were diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, and learning disabilities.  Luckily, the Montessori classroom is specifically designed to meet the needs of a wide range of abilities and interests.   And, as a parent, you have a unique knowledge of who your child is and where her next challenge lies.   Just by helping your child identify the next steps and challenges in her development, you’re teaching her skills for how to work with her unique brain and body to grow and learn.  Every child has a desire to learn, grow, and contribute.

But if you’re a parent of a child who is on the autism spectrum you may feel confused about how to help your child and overwhelmed by conflicting information.  Continue reading “Embracing special needs”

Guest blog: Eating Together- Make it a Priority for Your Family

This guest blog is by Kitty Holman:

Well hello, 21st century.  In this day and age, we are lucky if our kids can look up from their iPhones to tell us how their day went.  With a constant flux of new inventions and technologies to make our lives “easier,” we are spending more and more time away from our families.  But there is at least one time of the day that can be set aside from the hustles, bustles, and stresses that encompass our lives. Meal time is a natural choice.  We all have to eat, and as a naturally social species, we like to do so with other people.  However, traditional family dinners are dwindling and quickly becoming unconventional. Taking forty five minutes to an hour out of your day to eat as a family has great nutritional and social benefits.  Most importantly, it will create a more permanent bond with your children.

Move Over Happy Meal: Good Nutrition is in Town

Many studies have proven that children and adolescents who eat at least one meal together as a family are less likely to be obese or substance abusers in adulthood.  Furthermore, those that eat fruits and vegetables as adolescents are more likely to eat them regularly during adulthood.   Making healthy decisions for your family’s meals have long lasting impacts. Continue reading “Guest blog: Eating Together- Make it a Priority for Your Family”

Understanding willful toddlers

I’m generally a happy and optimistic person.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had dark moments, but for the most part I enjoy my life and am grateful for it.  However, when I’m with a toddler who seems intent on pushing my buttons, I am hating life.   It seems like no matter what I do to please the little tyrant, I’m still fending off testing behavior hour after hour.

Here are a few empowering thoughts, assumptions, questions, and some dialogue that have helped me change gears and reconnect with a young person after I’ve felt frustrated or hurt:

Q: My 20 mo. old son is throwing things in clear defiance of my wishes.  It seems like he WANTS to upset me.

New interpretation: He’s just asking to play.

Challenge: How can we make it a safe/fun/mutual game?

Inside Shelly’s head:

Oh no, he’s going to throw that.  “Stop!”, He throws it anyway and aims at something breakable but misses.  “Wow, I’m so glad you aimed away from the flower pot!  That flowerpot is fragile and breakable and it would be expensive to replace it.  Hmmm, I wonder what would be good to throw something at…Oh!  I know!  Let’s throw beanbags into the special hole we made!  I want the red beanbag, which one do you want?  I’m going to throw it into the hole.  Can you make it into the hole? C’mon!  Let’s go get the beanbags!”

Q:  My 18 mo. old daughter uses a blood curdling scream when she wants attention and sometimes for no reason that we know of. Continue reading “Understanding willful toddlers”

The art of receiving

As a parent, we give and give and give to our kids.  And then we turn around and notice our friends, partners or other family members and we give some more.  Then after giving all we can, we collapse into a heap at the end of the day whining about how we never have enough time to ourselves.  I get it.  I’ve been there.  But I think we each create our reality and we’re actually responsible for creating the lives we want.  So then I reach out, ask for help, and create support systems.

The problem is that when someone is willing to help me, I actually have to be able to accept that help.  I’m better at it now, but receiving hasn’t always been easy for me.  Sure, I was good at receiving physical gifts, but I wasn’t so great at receiving compliments or acts of service from my friends and family.  I used to energetically push those gifts away by minimizing, deflecting, or reassuring people that I had everything handled.

And then I had an epiphany.  I realized that just as I love to help, so do other people.  I noticed that when I was able to contribute to someone else’s wellbeing, my heart sang and then my heart immediately sank as I remembered all the times that I had been unwilling to receive help and support from others.  Continue reading “The art of receiving”

Got giggles?

I’m curious, is there enough laughter in your home?  Do you often laugh and smile yourself?  Do your kids joke and play happily together?  Are there peals of laughter coursing through your hallways daily?  If not, then it’s time for a laughter make-over in your home.

Laughter is one of my favorite ways to release pent up emotions.  Sure, there are other ways like crying and anger release, but laughter is without a doubt the most fun emotional release for everybody in the household.

But how do you infuse your home with more joy and laughter?  I’ve got some ideas I’d like to share with you.

1) Be super silly- A young child’s sense of humor is fairly undeveloped which makes it fairly easy to make them laugh.  Doing something unexpectedly silly will often do the trick.  I like to put funny hats on, talk in an accent, dance around the room shaking my head and arms wildly or just act a little bit crazy.  Kids absolutely love it when we adults let loose and play with them in this way.  You’ll know you’re on the right track when they’re looking at you like you’re nuts or they’re smiling and laughing. Continue reading “Got giggles?”