Shelly – Page 41 – Awake Parent

May 18, 2010May 18, 2010

Free online parenting retreat!

Numbers 2010 on beach Parenting is a wonderful, but challenging, journey. No instruction manuals, no definitive “right” or “wrong” methods. And, of course, each child is different!

But for one special weekend (May 25-27) you can give yourself a break… while getting your parenting questions answered, brainstorming solutions and learning tips and techniques that work for today’s kids – toddlers to teens.

You can access all of the live workshops at this online parenting retreat at no charge! Click here to view more details

You will be able to participate online in over twenty interactive workshops given by professional parenting coaches, educators, and counselors. And if you have to miss any sessions, we’ve thought of that too…

…When you purchase a ticket, you’ll get audio recordings of *every single session*!

(There’s even a Spa Products giveaway for 35 lucky registrants – just so it will really feel like a weekend conference “getaway”.)

Tickets are just $77 from now until May 22^nd for the early-bird special. Then the price goes back to $97. AFTER the retreat, the entire package will be available for purchase for $197, which is still a TREMENDOUS BARGAIN for 35 quality workshops and bonuses!!!

And remember, you can attend the live workshops for FREE. You only pay if you want recordings of the sessions.

What sort of parenting issues will you be able to address? Top parenting experts – each of whom has invested years of dedicated study in the field – will be there to share their wisdom about:

*Raising a confident and happy child able to be resilient to life’s challenges.

*Coping positively but effectively with disrespectful behavior and sassy attitudes.

*How to set your child up to make wise decisions and avoid dangerous behaviors.

*How to balance work and family – while still keeping your sanity!

*How to deal with meltdowns and tantrums–at any age—with me, Shelly Phillips!

I sure hope you’ll join me on May 25^th at 7pm Pacific time for my “How to deal with meltdowns and tantrums at any age” seminar.

Warm hugs, Shelly

May 12, 2010May 12, 2010

What to do about potty talk

Isn’t it amazing what kids find funny? I’ve been surprised more than once by what seems hilarious to a 2, 4 or 6 year old. And then I remember, their sense of humor is just developing. Kids this age have a challenging time understanding word play and innuendo, but they do know that burps, farts, and poop are some of the funniest things around.

I’m guessing you’ve especially had an opportunity to witness this phenomena if you have a little boy but some little girls love potty talk too. Suddenly “poopy butt” or “potty head” is their new favorite nickname for everyone.

So, what to do? Well, first of all, recognizing that this is a normal stage of development can help you breathe deeply and relax a little when your child says “penis” for the tenth time that day or calls the lady checking you out at the grocery store a “fart face”. Patience is a huge key to allowing this stage to pass, but patience alone will probably not create the kind of verbal environment you’re wanting.

So, you’ll have to create boundaries, letting your child know what works for you and what doesn’t. I invite you to give a little here, and recognize that using potty talk is a way that your child is experiencing joy, laughter, and humor. But clearly it’s not appropriate to call the teacher names or to shout the names of certain body parts across the store. So the first step is to decide where your boundary is. And that can vary greatly depending on your own preferences. Continue reading “What to do about potty talk”

May 5, 2010November 11, 2012

Laughter, the perfect antidote for a power struggle.

fal048 We’ve all been there, it’s time to leave, your child wants to stay and continue to play, you’re tired and ready to go, a conflict is brewing. How we handle these difficult moments can be the difference between a fantastic day and a really rough one. And really, either one is available to us in a given moment, we just have to be able to access enough creativity to create the fun, laughter filled connection we’re wanting, rather than falling into a negativity trap.

I know, you’re thinking, but wait, when I’m tired and grumpy, the LAST thing I am is creative. Well, that’s where I come in. I can offer you some fun strategies to create more laughter and connection and all you have to do is remember to use them when the time comes. Sound good?

So here we go, five ways to turn a potential power struggle into a fun, connecting experience for you and your kids.

1) Turn it into a game– Any time you feel yourself wanting to exert your will, try turning it into a game instead. Rather than threatening dire consequences, or complaining about how your kids don’t listen, figure out what kind of game you could all play that would get the job done and be fun for them. Hopping like a bunny to get to the car, strapping on your rocket booster shoes, or finding the keys in a scavenger hunt are all more fun that a grumpy parent frowning and grumbling. And who knows, if you practice this one enough, you might even find YOURSELF having more fun and laughter as you move through your day with your kids.

2) Go for the giggle– What do your kids find hilarious? Is it peek-a-boo, funny hats, new accents, or physical humor like bumping into things or falling down? It could be burps and farts or backwards clothing. But whatever it is that sends your little ones into peels of laughter, do more of it! Laugher is a wonderful way to connect and release pent up emotions. Use it to your advantage whenever you feel a power struggle coming on. After a good laugh, everyone’s more willing to cooperate. Continue reading “Laughter, the perfect antidote for a power struggle.”

April 28, 2010

Nighttime Rituals

73032723 When I was about three years old I developed a fear of the dark. I can remember being terrified in complete darkness and feeling so comforted by a nightlight or a hall light left on with my bedroom door left open. I don’t remember what precipitated the fear, but I do remember it was real and I really appreciated it when my parents responded compassionately.

Every time they left a nightlight on for me or left the door cracked with the hall light on, I felt loved, cared for, and reassured. Somehow because my fears were addressed attentively, I knew that I was important to my parents and an integral part of my family. We created a bedtime routine that was a safe haven from my fears and helped me look forward to sleeping, rather than being fearful or cranky about it.

I can’t imagine how devastated I would have been if my parents had ignored my fear or somehow invalidated it with phrases like, “Oh, you’re fine, don’t worry about it.” Instead, we created these little nighttime rituals that put me at ease and helped me relax to sleep easily.

I think nighttime rituals are a very important way to establish comfort, predictability, and consistency for children. And when young people have the consistency they need in order to relax themselves to sleep, they fall sleep faster, sleep better and longer and enjoy bedtime much more.

Do you currently have a nighttime ritual that works well? Is it time for an upgrade? Continue reading “Nighttime Rituals”

April 21, 2010April 21, 2010

Are you speaking a different love language?

n106986646000880_7711 When I discovered “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman my world was turned upside down…in a good way. Chapman’s theory is that there are five primary love languages and that each of us tends to have one language we give and receive love in the most often and the most easily. He says that often people are trying to express love, but those efforts are not getting received as love by the other person. This struck a chord for me particularly in my relationship with my dad.

After learning more about these five languages, I began to realize that although I had spent much of my life thinking that my dad didn’t love me as deeply as I wanted him to, in reality, he’d been loving me all along, I just hadn’t recognized his efforts as love!

Because my primary love languages match up well with my Mom’s (physical touch and quality time), it was easy for me to feel loved by her. We often shared hugs, snuggled on the couch, and hung out talking. But since my dad’s primary love language is acts of service, I hadn’t been receiving his love as easily. For me, doing a project together just didn’t feel like love.

When I realized this I began to look back at my relationship with my dad through the years and I started to recognize all the hundreds of times my dad was showing me love and I hadn’t received it. Continue reading “Are you speaking a different love language?”