Wow, I really don’t want to write a blog today. I can feel myself resisting, procrastinating, and trying to find anything else to occupy my time. Sound familiar? Whether it’s dishes, laundry, taxes, a project for work, or just getting off the couch to get some exercise, we all have the tendency to procrastinate.
So, why do we stare in disbelief when after the 10th time of reminding our kids to put their shoes on and get out the door, they’re still reading or playing with their toys? I’m pretty sure we’re engaged in a double standard here. We have a specific agenda that we’d like them to agree to, but they haven’t actually agreed. So instead of outright resisting, they procrastinate. Or sometimes they actually physically resist, and often they verbally resist.
But here’s the thing about resistance, what we resist persists. You don’t just go away and stop asking them to put their shoes on. And neither do they stop asking for the toy they saw on television, or for a trip to the ball game.
What can we do without giving in to every whim of our child’s but also without resisting? And how can we invite our kids to accept and embrace what we’re asking for, rather than resisting it? I think empathy is a key here. When I offer empathy to a kid who’s procrastinating, often, before I know it, he’s doing exactly what I asked. I suspect that’s because I didn’t resist what was actually happening in the moment.
It’s easy to get frustrated that things aren’t going the way we’d like. But this week, practice “being a yes” to whatever is happening. When we can accept the present moment for exactly what it is (rather than wishing it were something else) things will often shift more quickly. And we’re teaching our kids that getting mad about it doesn’t change the outcome, instead, accepting what’s actually happening (instead of resisting it) often gets better results and almost always is more fun and generally easier. Continue reading “What we resist persists: practicing acceptance of the present moment”
