Today I want to share something I learned from NLP (otherwise known as neuro-linguistic programming) called a “state change”. We’re always in some sort of emotional state, whether happy, sad, excited, or frustrated. And often it feels like we’re at the whim of our emotions. When I’m frustrated it seems like there is no way to transform the frustration into something else. But there is! We can consciously create a “state change” in ourselves and often in others, pretty much any time we want!
Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? Well, I assure you, I’ve used this technique countless times with kids and with myself and it really works! But, how does it work? Well, here’s the thing, the body and the emotions are directly linked to each other. When we feel sad, we look down, hunch our shoulders, pout and stay still. On the other hand, when we feel happy and excited, we throw our shoulders back, look up, smile and move our bodies!
The trick is realizing that the conversation between the body and the emotions is a two way street. Not only does our body reflect how we’re feeling, but our feelings reflect how we’re holding our bodies!
Try this the next time you’re feeling down. Find a brightly lit room, look up at the ceiling, smile your biggest smile and think about something you love. Now how do you feel? It’s almost impossible to continue feeling sad when your shoulders are back, you’re looking up, smiling and thinking of something you love or enjoy! You can try the opposite too (although it’s less fun).
Sometime when you’re feeling great, try hunching your shoulders, looking down at the ground, and thinking about something really sad. You’ll almost immediately start to feel sadness.
So, how can you use this two way street to your advantage? You can actually tell your emotions what to feel by holding your body in a certain way! Continue reading “Creating the emotional state you want, it’s easier than you might think!”
Parenting is a wonderful, but challenging, journey. No instruction manuals, no definitive “right” or “wrong” methods. And, of course, each child is different!
Isn’t it amazing what kids find funny? I’ve been surprised more than once by what seems hilarious to a 2, 4 or 6 year old. And then I remember, their sense of humor is just developing. Kids this age have a challenging time understanding word play and innuendo, but they do know that burps, farts, and poop are some of the funniest things around.
Parents are the ultimate experts on the art of surrender. You have to be. If we didn’t surrender to the reality of our lives as parents, we’d be miserable and struggling constantly! Instead, we learn to go with the flow, relax and let go, and accept what is. Before I was pregnant I never realized how soon this process begins. But during the first few months of pregnancy when I was nauseous unless I was constantly eating protein, I realized that I was in practice mode for parenting already. I had to let go of my own desires and eat what my baby needed. And at first I felt I was forced to surrender.
It’s easy to get into a pattern of saying things like, “Stop!”, “No!” or “Don’t do that” with kids. They’re constantly experimenting with both the physical world and with social boundaries. As a result they have a tendency to do things we don’t approve of or enjoy at least some of the time (and often a LOT of the time).