Delay of gratification is a crucial skill

June 1, 2011March 19, 2012

Delay of gratification is a crucial skill

Teaching your child to delay gratification can help him in all sorts of ways. He will learn self-control and willpower. He will also reduce his impulsivity and increase in academic performance. But delaying gratification does not come easily and often won’t develop naturally, unless parents and caregivers help children learn this important skill.

Luckily, you can start to teach these skills at any age with simple games that don’t take much time. Start by offering your child a toy you know she wants but at the last second pull it back saying, “Ut oh, wait just a moment. Wait…wait…great job waiting!” and then hand your child the toy. At first just ask your infant or toddler to wait a few seconds. Then as your child becomes better and better at waiting for the object of her desire, begin to lengthen the time required. read more

May 18, 2011March 19, 2012

The Magic of Family Meetings

We have work meetings, book club meetings, non-profit organization meetings, and yet very few families have family meetings. However, in my parenting coaching, and especially with families of children ages 3-17, family meetings are one of the best ways I’ve found to help families get on the same page, air their dirty laundry, establish rules and expectations, and move from tension back to joy and playfulness.

But there are some definite dos and don’ts when it comes to creating a family meeting that works well and is sustainable. Here are my tips for family meetings that will help you re-connect and get down to business. read more

March 30, 2011August 5, 2017

A cure for clutter: using a rug to define a workspace

Are you tired of tripping over your child’s toys or bugging the kids to pick them up off the living room floor? Using a rug to define your child’s workspace is a great solution that works well for everyone!

You might even already have a rug that will work well. You want a rag rug, bathmat, or other rug that is about three feet by four feet in size and is easy to roll up. To keep it out of the way when it’s not being used, you can store your rug in a clean trash can, large vase, or other container when it’s rolled up. And when your child is ready to get out her dinosaurs, remind her to get her rug first. This trick was taught to me by my friend who is also a parent and works for Oriental Rug Cleaning in Jupiter, FL, she the idea while working one day! Just make sure you don’t choose a rug that will get dirty easily. read more

January 20, 2011January 20, 2011

What we can learn from Chinese mothers

Have you heard about the new book out that purports that Chinese mothers are better than western mothers? I haven’t read the book, but I did read an article about it and I was horrified to say the least. In the article I read there was a story of the author berating, cajoling, threatening, and punishing her child in order to get her to learn a piano piece. The child did in fact master the piece, so the author says that her parenting was effective. I disagree. I think it’s wonderful that her child overcame a challenge and learned a difficult piano piece, but I disagree with HOW the mother went about the lesson. I don’t think it’s ever OK to mock your child or call him names, even if your intent is to motivate. read more

December 29, 2010

Watch what you say because your baby really is listening

The past few weeks my husband and I have been trying our hardest to remove some of the more colorful language from our vocabularies so that our baby’s first words aren’t profanity. Not that we curse all that much, but knowing children as I do, I know that it only take a few exposures to a word for kids to learn them, especially during the time when they’re busy expanding their vocabularies at a phenomenal rate at around 18 months old. So we’ve been saying funny things like “fire-pants!” and “rats!” or even my husband’s famous “son of a bench!” read more