with Shelly Birger Phillips
Here’s one last video with content from my new eBook “Cracking the Kid Code: Discovering the secret to having a happy child, family and home.” This time I wanted to share one of the most important pieces of information that parents often forget. That children really do want to do it themselves!
What are your children excited about doing all by themselves right now? Tell me now!
This video is about the amazing benefits of rocking and swinging for kids. Have you noticed that rocking and swinging helps your child?
How have you seen vestibular stimulation benefit your kids and family?
Well, it has happened. My sweet baby is already becoming a willful toddler. The past week or so has been filled with frustrating moments for her and for anyone near her. She has begun to whine. She is clinging to us like she thinks we’ll disappear if we’re out of her sight. And of course, she’s also starting to walk.
Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response. Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development. And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills. Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings. When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down.
So, what do we do with those feelings of sadness and anger that go along with new accomplishments? We can try to ignore them or shove them aside, but that sure hasn’t been working at our house. I’d rather embrace the feelings and provide a safe space for my daughter to fully express all that she’s going through.
Amazingly, just last week, my little one learned how to roar like a lion and wow, it’s a really ferocious roar! So my mom and I began to play a game with her where we pretend to be frightened by her roar. She LOVES it! It’s really one of the first times I’ve seen her expressing and enjoying her power, she completely lights up. She roars again and again while we cower in mock fear. “Oh no! Don’t eat me! I’m so scared,” can be heard often at our house these days. Here’s a short video of the game:
Then last night it was bedtime. And you guessed it, she didn’t want to go to bed. I could tell she was getting agitated and she started to test my husband by hitting him. She knows that hitting people isn’t allowed, but she wasn’t sure how else to express the anger and frustration bubbling up inside her.
So I redirected her hitting to the stuffed animals on her bed. Before we knew it, my husband, daughter, and I were all throwing and hitting and jumping on the stuffed animals yelling, “Take that!” and “Aaarrgghh!” We all had a blast and each of us got an opportunity to express any unexpressed anger or frustration. I can’t even tell you how satisfying it was to slam that pink elephant into the wall. It was truly liberating. The best part was that after the anger release, she was tired and ready to wind down to sleep.
So the next time anyone at your house is whining or getting agitated, try playing a power game. Sometimes, just having an appropriate outlet for anger, frustration, or powerlessness is all a child really needs. And when offered a healthy way to release those feelings, kids can easily return to their usual kind and cooperative selves.
Wish me luck with the rest of toddler-hood, I have a feeling I’m going to need it!
Have a great week, Shelly
Wow, this week has been all about sleep research. I’ve been reading “Nurture Shock” by Po Bronson & Ashley Marryman and whoa, the new sleep research is startling! I also watched a Nova special on sleep, and then last night my husband and I watched an episode of Star Trek Next Generation where the whole crew suffers from sleep deprivation due to lack of REM sleep.
It’s all pretty interesting stuff, so here’s what I’ve learned so far…
1) We dream in all stages of sleep, not just REM sleep and scientists think that REM sleep dreams are specifically designed as practice to help us figure out how to handle emotionally difficult situations.
2) Children today get an hour less sleep per night than children did just 30 years ago.
3) Just 15 min. of extra sleep at night has been shown to give kids higher cognitive functioning, better test scores and better grades in school.
4) A LOT of the symptoms of both ADHD and clinical depression are identical to symptoms of long-term sleep deprivation.
5) A lack of sleep causes chemical changes in the body that may be the underlying cause of the obesity epidemic here in the US.
6) Sleep is crucial to learning and if allowed to sleep in between lessons, subjects show marked improvements in newly learned skills.
7) While adults only spend 4% of sleep in the slow wave stage of sleep, Children spend almost 40% of their sleep there.
Clearly, there’s a LOT going on regarding sleep and the optimal functioning of our amazing brain. From our own experiences we know that sleep is crucial to learning. Haven’t you ever learned something new and then gone to sleep and dreamed about it all night long? Well, the research bears out this intuitive knowledge that sleep is crucial to learning.
So, why are kids getting less sleep? Well, I have some theories. First, screen time and bright lights at night have been shown to disrupt our circadian rhythms, so kids are having a harder time falling asleep because they’ve recently been exposed to bright lights or screens. And then there’s the fact that so many working parents are working such long hours that they barely get to see their kids in the evening. So parents are keeping their kids up later so that they can have some time together during the week. And children don’t seem to be complaining. Obviously they will try to stay up as late as we will let them, not realizing the long-term consequences of sleep deprivation.
So, as conscious, aware parents, we have got to put our children’s long-term health and well-being above our momentary desire for fifteen more minutes with them at the end of a long day. Now that we have this new, proven knowledge of the importance of sleep, it’s our job to take action.
We need to reclaim the “lost hour” and boy will we be glad when we have. After taking a good hard look at the research, I’m convinced that by putting sleep first, we’ll all end up with happier, more focused, higher functioning, and better adjusted kids. And what could possibly be more important than that?
Have a restful week, Shelly
School is out for the summer, which is great fun for the kids and a bunch of extra work and shuffling for you. It’s challenging to make the transition from having the kids in school all day to having them home, or finding enough activities to keep them busy and engaged.
Some children really thrive on a slow paced, relaxed, summer schedule. But other kids go a little bonkers when you take away the social outlet of school. If you’ve got a drama queen or a comedian on your hands, consider sending them to an acting camp.
Through my work with young people I’ve found that lots of kids who seem to be “acting out” or are “too wild” just need an appropriate outlet for their energy and enthusiasm about life. They need an activity that is both intellectually and physically challenging, so that they’re engaging many different parts of their brain. Acting camp could be just the thing these kids are craving.
During an acting camp, kids get to play fun games that teach them the basics of improvisation and acting. With those tools in their back pockets, many young people can redirect their “wild” energy into comedy improv, or putting on a production either by themselves, with friends or siblings, or with a church group or neighborhood group.
And, as their skills develop, you’ll enjoy their antics more and more, and they’ll get the positive attention they’re really craving. It’s really a win-win.
But if acting camp isn’t available in your area or doesn’t fit into your budget well, the internet is filled with information about super fun comedy improv games you can play with your family without any special training.
One of my favorite sites for that kind of information is Improv 4 Kids
Here are a few fun improv games off the top of my head:
1) Yes And- Go around the circle and create something fun like the most fun amusement park, the best sandwich, the ideal playground, or the coolest new invention. Each person adds an idea and then the next person exclaims, “YES!! And…” and adds another dimension to the vision.
2) Making up a silly song- This is easiest with a familiar tune and a list of words that rhyme. You might want to start off with Raffi’s “Down by the Bay” and then branch out when the kids have the hang of it.
3) Using props in interesting ways- Get some stuff from the kitchen and around the house and put it into a box. Set an egg timer and then let your child reach into the box, grab something and pretend it’s something else. Robin Williams is particularly good at this game!
So, I hope you’ll check out all the possibilities in your area for acting and improv classes for kids. Who knows, maybe you’ll spark a life long love of theatre! As always I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. Please leave me a comment! And have a wonderful week, Shelly
Oh, and I was interviewed in Inspired Lady Radio on Monday. If you’d like to listen to the show which features me and Lori Petro, go to BlogTalkRadio “Thanks, but this is my child“.