Tag: Autonomy

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How to get time for yourself: Set your kids up for independent play

Create new exciting activities your kids will love and read a novel for a change!

Remember how you used to love to read for pleasure?  You’d spend hours in a well-lit room with a book and at the end of it, you didn’t know a new recipe, have another way to spice things up in the bedroom, or learn how to install blinds.  Instead, you had memories of far away landscapes and intimate relationships with imaginary characters

Ahh, the joy of fiction.

But now, you have kids.  You don’t have time to read for pleasure– right?  WRONG!!!  In fact, it’s more important than EVER that you do WHATEVER brings you joy and pleasure.

You are your child’s most important influence and, along with any other caregivers, the people she’s most likely to emulate.  Don’t you want your child to ENJOY life?!

Of course you do, so please, take extra time today and every day to take good care of yourself and enjoy your own process of living and growing.

Your homework for this week:  Take good of yourself, give yourself things you enjoy, and become your kids’ example of how to enjoy your life. Continue reading “How to get time for yourself: Set your kids up for independent play”

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Got a wild child? Give ‘em more responsibility!

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but working in preschools has taught me that when kids act out, it’s often because they’re bored and want attention from us. I’ve noticed that when I give these kids MORE responsibility, jobs to do, and tasks to complete (without being too ATTACHED to them actually accomplishing the task) they respond by becoming more driven and successful.

This creates a positive cycle in which:
1) You notice some behaviors you don’t like.
2) Rather than focusing on those behaviors, you offer alternatives in the form of tasks, jobs, or responsibilities (careful here though, these must be tasks that would be nice to have done, but which are true requests- not demands). Continue reading “Got a wild child? Give ‘em more responsibility!”

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How can I keep my independent two-year-old safe?

My friend Mindy had a recent challenge with her two-year-old son. She wrote:

Shelly, We have a big challenge. I like to leave our doors open to the backyard, so Thomas and the animals (we have two dogs and a cat) can go in and out as they wish.

Today Thomas crawled under the automatic gate into the front yard!

Then he came around to the front door and played a game out of it. But I’m terrified he is going to go near the street or in it, or someone is going to snatch him. I really can’t watch him well enough now that I have Tabitha (3 mo.) to ensure he won’t do it again, and there is no way to alter the gate to prevent his tiny little body from going under it. What do I do?
Continue reading “How can I keep my independent two-year-old safe?”

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Conscious television: Four ways to avoid guilt and get more in the groove with the tube

I’m always humbled into a moment of silence when a parent tells me, “We don’t have a television.” I think, Wow, no fallback plan when you’re craving a moment of silence with every cell of your body; Enduring kids’ inevitable comparisons to friends’ families who do have on-screen entertainment.

I also admire them for being part of a committed cadre of people who have taken a huge step to find alternatives to prefabricated images, to stimulate their kids’ imaginations.

I am not one of those people.

Maybe I will be when I grow up.

In the meantime, purity (such as being 100% free of TV) feels like a luxury to me, or else a supreme effort I’m not usually up for.  Incremental choices do count, and can be incredibly powerful. I breastfed most, not all of the time. I eat meat only occasionally, sparing the cows and the planet more than my palate alone would choose.

Similarly, every household with a TV (and I daresay that’s most) gets to make choices about when the TV gets turned on, what gets watched, and what (if any) kind of interactions adults and kids have around the content.

Continue reading “Conscious television: Four ways to avoid guilt and get more in the groove with the tube”

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Five Keys to Getting Kids to Help with Clean-up

Ever wonder why you can’t get your kids to help clean up?

I know, it seems like a nice idea and all, but how the heck do you actually get kids to want to and enjoy helping with clean up?

At first, I didn’t think it was possible either. But it turns out, I was grossly underestimating young people.

In fact, during my first year as a preschool teacher in a Montessori school, my limited ideas of the kids’ cleaning capabilities were completely blown out of the water!

I looked around the classroom and saw three-year-olds sweeping, mopping, dusting, and helping each other clean up messes!

Three year olds. No kidding!

Now here’s the kicker: Not only were these young people happily cleaning up after themselves and each other, they also felt proud of their accomplishments and were internally motivated to continue!

So, how can you get your kids to help you out around the house? Continue reading “Five Keys to Getting Kids to Help with Clean-up”

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