The Secret to Drastically Reducing Infant Falls

During early infancy, babies pretty much stay where you put them. My mom refers to this stage of development as the happy paperweight stage. But once babies are a few months old, they begin to move. Some infants are rolling over and scooting as early as 4 months!

Don’t fret if your baby doesn’t roll over or sit up exactly on “schedule,” every baby develops at a different rate. But once your little one does begin to move around, falls can be a big hazard.

Avoiding some falls is fairly easy, just put your baby on the floor! But at other times you might be on a low bed, couch, or in another location and it’s a good idea to develop healthy and safe habits as early as possible.

Obviously when babies reach this stage of development it is no longer safe to leave them unstrapped on the changing table and walk away or even to leave them in the middle of a large high bed. The floor is the safest place for a baby who is learning to move, scoot, and crawl.

You do also need to do some baby proofing pronto. Cover outlets (electrocution hazards), remove cords and strings (strangulation hazards), add gates to stairways, and anchor furniture to the wall.

But if you want to reduce accidental falls, show your infant daily how to maneuver off of a low bed or couch safely, and they will learn to do it themselves fairly quickly. With enough repetition, getting down safely becomes second nature.

Before I share my “secret” let’s review some infant development research. Studies have shown that new crawlers are actually quite careful not to fall. Babies who were new crawlers participated in a study in which they were encouraged by their mothers to crawl across a plexi-glass surface that had a checkerboard pattern underneath it.

When the checkerboard pattern was directly beneath the plexiglass, babies happily crawled across to their mothers. However, if the checkerboard pattern was placed 3 feet below the plexiglass, babies perceived the drop off and refused to crawl across, even though it was completely safe to do so. Even when encouraged by their mothers that it was safe to cross, nearly 100% of infants refused to crawl across the perceived abyss. I share this study to remind us all that babies do have a survival instinct and even though we think of them as completely impulsive, they really don’t want to fall on their heads.

OK, here’s the “secret” key phrase (and action) to reducing falls:

FEET FIRST

Let’s say you’re hanging out with your baby on the couch when it becomes obvious that she’s interested in a toy across the room. She reaches for the toy and in your mind’s eye you imagine her tumbling headlong off the couch after the toy, banging her head along the way. At this point, gently hold your baby’s arm or leg and say, “Feet first.” And then help her turn around and maneuver so that her feet hang down first and she can scoot off the couch feet first, facing the couch. This is always the safest way for a baby to descend.

When your baby is young, you can physically guide him safely all the way down to the floor and as he develops more strength, you can intervene less and less. But it’s very important to repeat the phrase, “Feet first,” each and every time.

If you do this consistently, you’ll have a crawler and toddler that confidently knows how to safely descend from stairs, beds, couches, and the like and you’ll be able to relax into the knowledge that he knows exactly how to get down, FEET FIRST!

My husband and I both used this technique with each of our children and I honestly cannot think of a single time that our kids fell off of anything head first when they were babies. Sure, my 3yo jumps off of things head first now to experiment with his body and its boundaries, but our babies didn’t careen off of the bed.

To be fair, we don’t use bed frames and simply put our box spring and mattress right on the floor. This is a Montessori style bed that is easy for a young child to climb in and out of independently, so if your bed is up on a frame, it may not be safe to encourage your baby to go feet first off the bed until she is tall enough to manage it.

But in general, by using the phrase “feet first” and supporting babies to descend safely, you’ll drastically reduce falls and protect your infant from many potential head injuries. I’ve used this technique with many of the babies in my care too, and it has always helped.

So here’s to a future filled with capable independence for your baby and calm confidence for you. Have a fabulous week!

You Don’t Have to Work So Hard to Entertain Your Baby

Well, the secret’s out. We’re expecting! And as I contemplate the inevitable chaos of introducing an infant into all of our lives there’s one idea that brings me a huge amount of peace and calm. It’s the notion that babies can actually entertain themselves.

I was first introduced to this idea by Janet Lansbury and if you want to explore this further, I highly recommend her website janetlansbury.com It’s filled with information about how to be respectful to even the youngest infants and some of the underlying messages I’ve gotten from her work with babies are:

1)   You don’t have to be Super-Mom, you’re already a super mom.

2)   You don’t need to hold your baby for every second of the day to foster proper bonding and development.

3)   Ultimately, even newborn babies are really good at meeting their own needs for learning and entertainment, when given the opportunity for independent play.

Sometimes these ideas seem to fly in the face of all of the attachment parenting information out there, but I don’t think the ideas are really at odds at all. In fact, I think that when we provide the nurturing and responsive environment for our children that we naturally want to give them, they respond by needing less reassurance and wanting more independence.

This is certainly what I’ve seen with my first daughter. As soon as she feels safe and comfortable, she’s ready to take on a new task or skill and she almost always wants to do it herself.

Even as a tiny infant, when she was fed, rested, and we were fighting a diaper rash, we’d leave her strapped to her changing table with a pre-fold underneath her just in case, put on some music and she would stay there happily for up to half an hour!

Other times I’d simply lay her down on a soft blanket on the floor, offer her one or two toys to explore and leave the room. And again, as long as her physical needs were met, she would rarely call out for me. So I got to fold laundry, cook dinner, or do whatever else I’d been neglecting for up to half an hour before she needed another diaper change or to nurse or some help falling asleep.

So if you’re a first time mom and are worried about how you’ll keep your baby entertained, or if you have other kids and you’re pretty sure the new baby won’t get the same kind of undivided attention that your first baby got, fear not. You can relax and trust your baby to learn and grow perfectly, even without your constant attention.

There are a few keys to encouraging this kind of independent play in infants (and toddlers for that matter) Here’s a quick check list:

1) Safety first—Make sure the space is safe from anything that could harm your baby, even if they move farther than you expect (because they probably will!). Check for long cords, electrical outlets, furniture that’s unstable (it’s best to attach bookcases to the wall), fluffy bedding, choking hazards etc.

2) Less is more—Young babies really don’t need 12 toys that blink and play music. A simple ball, a cloth or wooden teether, or even a kitchen utensil may be enough stimulation for a young developing brain. Some babies don’t even need a toy, they can be content just learning to move their bodies and looking around at the things in the room or in my daughter’s case, listening to music.

3) Give them space and time—If you’re not accustomed to leaving your baby alone, this one can be challenging. It’s an exercise in trust and an opportunity for self care.  But remember, offering your baby this time is helping him develop a longer attention span, reminding him that he’s safe, even when he’s left alone, and laying a strong foundation of self-reliance.

4) Be within earshot and available—Infants need to know that we’re there and available when they need us, so be sure you’re within earshot and available to respond quickly either verbally or physically if your baby cries out. When we respond quickly to their needs, babies relax and are able to feel safe even when we’re out of the room. But if we fail to respond when they need our help, we’re breaking a fragile trust and infants will easily learn to object to our being out of sight in order to be sure we’ll be there when they need us.

Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting that you leave your newborn alone for hours at a time or even for several hours a day, but the idea that we must be interacting with our babies 24/7 is just an impossible dream that undermines our own sanity.

Yes, it’s incredibly important to make eye contact, smile, talk to, hold, and sing to your baby. And I already know you’re doing those things. This is just a reminder that there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t take a shower, read a novel, or talk on the phone with a friend, even when you have an infant in the house.

And when we give our babies time alone, we’re not just taking care of ourselves by giving ourselves a much needed break, we’re also helping them develop crucial skills and allowing them to learn and grow at their own pace.

I’m curious, do you give your baby alone time? Or does this idea seem foreign? I would love to hear about your experiences. Please share your story with the rest of us!

And have a lovely week, Shelly