with Shelly Birger Phillips
Hey Everybody, Jill and I are gearing up for the big launch of the Perspectives on Feelings audio program. So, we thought we’d start by answering some of your specific questions about how to deal with feelings and how kids express their feelings. In this video I describe some things that Marcella can try with her stepson to encourage him to express himself even more authentically.
Our first video blog!
Hey there! I’m so excited about my very first Awake Parent video blog! In today’s blog I’m answering a question from my friend Marcella, who’s having some challenges with her stepson. Sometimes he has a “demanding attitude” and Marcella is ready to transform this irritating behavior. Oh! And prepare yourself for our new audio program “Perspectives on Feelings” which will be available in August! More info coming soon about that. First, a quick video on dealing with a demanding attitude…
Love and hugs,
Shelly
It’s amazing what a little appreciation, acknowledgment and gratitude can do. You can go from feeling hum-drum or bummed to feeling completely ecstatic in a few short moments if you only take the time to practice gratitude. Gratitude is like this magic potion that reminds us of all we have to appreciate in life–and there is a LOT to appreciate.
I have some friends who share gratitude with one another every time they sit down to share a meal together. Others use gratitude as a way to connect at the beginning of their monthly family meeting. I even know some parents and kids who say what they’re grateful for each night before bed.
I’ve found that when I feel appreciated and acknowledged, I am more willing to contribute, I feel more engaged in my relationships, and I’m just generally happier. So, do kids feel any different? I don’t think so. I think we all respond well to being appreciated and acknowledged. But it depends on how. For instance, compliments like, “You have pretty hair.” usually don’t impact me in the same way that true acknowledgment does.
Here’s the difference: A compliment is really just a positive judgment which might feel good at the time, but then it also leaves room for negative judgments which we can feel afraid of. An acknowledgment is different. Continue reading “Sharing Gratitude: Acknowledging each family members’ contributions”
This creates a positive cycle in which:
1) You notice some behaviors you don’t like.
2) Rather than focusing on those behaviors, you offer alternatives in the form of tasks, jobs, or responsibilities (careful here though, these must be tasks that would be nice to have done, but which are true requests- not demands). Continue reading “Got a wild child? Give ‘em more responsibility!”
I’m always humbled into a moment of silence when a parent tells me, “We don’t have a television.” I think, Wow, no fallback plan when you’re craving a moment of silence with every cell of your body; Enduring kids’ inevitable comparisons to friends’ families who do have on-screen entertainment.
I also admire them for being part of a committed cadre of people who have taken a huge step to find alternatives to prefabricated images, to stimulate their kids’ imaginations.
I am not one of those people.
Maybe I will be when I grow up.
In the meantime, purity (such as being 100% free of TV) feels like a luxury to me, or else a supreme effort I’m not usually up for. Incremental choices do count, and can be incredibly powerful. I breastfed most, not all of the time. I eat meat only occasionally, sparing the cows and the planet more than my palate alone would choose.
Similarly, every household with a TV (and I daresay that’s most) gets to make choices about when the TV gets turned on, what gets watched, and what (if any) kind of interactions adults and kids have around the content.