Tag: Conscious Parenting

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10 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal with Your Separation

As a child of divorce myself, I can share my own experience to help you navigate your separation in the way that will best support your children and allow them to adjust to the new reality of having two separate homes. I may write more on the topic of healing or ending your romantic relationship, but today let’s focus on how you can help your children thrive, even in the midst of your separation.

Please note, I’m writing this article with the assumption that you were married and that both parents will continue to be involved in your children’s lives. If that’s not the case, there are still some points that will be helpful, but others may not apply or you may need to change the language to suit your needs, for instance, you can replace the word spouse with girlfriend/boyfriend/partner as needed. My hope is that all children will be encouraged to have some connection and relationship to both of their parents whenever possible.

1. Be honest, but don’t share too many details

Children, especially those under 5 years old, need clear and consistent messages that they can rely on. Being wishy washy or confused about whether you’ll divorce or get back together is fine within your adult relationship, but be careful not to draw your children into your indecision. Children need to understand the hard facts so that they can adjust to their new reality. And they are not your emotional support system. Rather, you are theirs, so if you find yourself talking to your kids about your relationship, please stop, refer to number 5 below, or call a friend.

Your kids also need a consistent message from both parents, so it’s important to get on the same page with your spouse on this point. What is our message to the children and can we both agree to share a consistent message? Perhaps you’ll say something like, “Mom and Dad have decided to live separately for the next 6 months. We both still love you and that will never change, but right now, we need space from each other.”

If your older child asks follow up questions about why or what happens after 6 months, you can let them know that adults have complicated relationships and that you haven’t decided yet, but try to keep your responses concise and consistent, without a lot of emotional content (whenever possible). And never ever share the details of your upset with your spouse with a child under 12.

2. Remind them that you’ll love them no matter what and none of this is their fault

I’m sure you’ve noticed that young children are very self-centered. Because of this developmentally appropriate inability to focus on others along with a tendency to think that the world revolves around them, children often assume that when bad things happen, it’s their fault. It’s important to make sure that your kids know that your love for them and the other parent’s love for them will not change, just because you’re no longer living together. They should also be reminded that your decision to live separately has absolutely nothing to do with them. This is one thing my parents did right during their divorce, and I’m certain that it made a positive impact on me to know for sure that both of my parents still loved me no matter what and that I didn’t cause their problems.

3. Be kind to your spouse

OK, I know this one sounds like a tall order right now, this was one of the most traumatic aspects of my own parent’s divorce. They were furious with each other and they let me see it. I heard them yelling at each other over the phone. There were slammed doors. And the tension between them was palpable for YEARS. In fact, for most of my life I believed that while they both loved me, my parents hated each other. That was a difficult burden to bear, especially since they were my whole world at 5 years old.

So, if you’re able to maintain civility with your spouse, please do so. It’s OK to argue in front of the kids, but only if you make up in front of them too. It’s also OK to have lots of feelings about your spouse that you don’t share with your kids. But in order for children to feel safe and secure, it’s important to show them that even though you’ve chosen to live separately, you still respect each other, and you support one another’s right to have a good and healthy relationship with your children.

Obviously if there is sexual or physical abuse happening, this may not be possible. But even in cases of abuse, it’s important for children to be allowed to maintain some contact with their parent if that’s what they want. Every child is different and will process their experiences differently. In the case of abuse, rely on a therapist, social worker, or other healthcare professional to help you decide how much contact and what kind to allow.

This is something my parents did right. Even though they weren’t able to maintain a civil tone with each other, they did ensure that I got to see and have relationships with each of them and that was a huge gift. I am so incredibly grateful to have such a close relationship with each of my biological parents, even though neither of them are perfect and they both made mistakes.

So please do your best not to villainize your spouse to your children. No matter how tempting it might be to punish your spouse by keeping them away from your kids, remember that these types of actions will ultimately harm your children much more than they will teach your spouse a lesson.

4. Talk about their feelings

Providing emotional support for your kids is one of your most important jobs as you navigate your separation. They may not be ready to talk about their feelings about the separation in particular, but even so, you can talk about their feelings about all sorts of other things. Kids may not even realize that their upset about a situation at school could actually be related to their upset about your separation, and that’s perfectly OK. The crucial piece is to make sure you’re talking about feelings regularly and helping your child make sense of their emotional world.

I highly recommend the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This book has helped me navigate many conflicts and has taught me how to respond with true empathy (it may not be what you think) as well as how to give myself empathy. These skills will help increase your child’s emotional intelligence which will make a huge positive impact for him throughout his life.

5. Get yourself some therapy

It’s super important to maintain your own health and wellbeing as much as possible during this stressful and challenging time. Therapy, coaching, or counseling is an absolute must for your emotional wellbeing as you navigate your separation and make decisions about how to proceed.

Self-care is the key to being able to be there for your kids right now. For some, that might look like extra baths with essential oils, late night phone calls with friends, or a weekend getaway. For others it’s getting to the gym regularly, eating healthier, or reading an inspiring book. Tune in to yourself and find several things you can do to support your own journey, so that you can be even more available to support your children during this transition.

6. One on one time with each child

This is a good practice, even when you’re not dealing with challenges. Kids need to know that they are important to you and one of the ways they know that they matter is when we set aside a specific time to spend with them, one on one. Turn off your phone and take your kiddo on a picnic, to a park, for some other activity, or just play together in the back yard. Give your child your full and undivided attention and do the things that make them feel cherished.

You may want to check out the book The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. Once you know what your child’s primary and secondary love languages are, you’ll be more likely to find effective ways to fill up their love tank.

Do make sure you’re actually enjoying the time together too though. If you’re miserable, your one on one time with your child will flop. So find an activity you’ll both enjoy. For bonus points, tell your child 5 things you love about them and why you’re grateful for them.

7. Never use your kids as a bargaining chip

This is the #1 biggest pitfall you face as you navigate your separation. If you threaten to take the kids, seek full custody, or infringe on your spouse’s parental rights even a little bit, you’re doing your kids a huge disservice. Instead, be an advocate for their relationship with your spouse. Even though you no longer choose to live together, you obviously both want what’s best for your kids. And the research is clear, relationships with multiple loving adults provide better outcomes for kids.

Do your best to separate your own feelings about your spouse from those of their beloved children. Try to find opportunities to support their continued connection. Agree on a schedule and then stick to it as closely as possible. Children need consistency and clarity to feel safe and secure. So if every Friday night is pizza night at Daddy’s house, they’re more likely to relax into the routine and adjust to the new normal.

8. Spend some time in nature

Time in nature reduces your blood pressure and cortisol levels and exposes you to microbes that can actually make you happier! Studies have shown that even just 10 minutes in nature can make a significant positive impact on your mood and stress hormone levels. So, if you’re feeling blue or not sure what to do, go outside!

Teaching kids to use time in nature to help them de-stress, get a bit of exercise, and enjoy the sights and smells of the natural world is setting them up for future success. Finding effective strategies to handle their big feelings will be a huge asset for them later in life.

9. If the kids show signs of distress, get them some therapy or a support group too

My parents tried to send me to therapy when they first divorced but the therapist said I was handling things well and didn’t need the extra help. Two years later when my parents were locked in a custody battle and I was having unexplained stomach aches every day, my dad’s girlfriend, who happened to be a social worker and would later become my step mom, recommended that I get some professional support.

I was missing my mom terribly and wasn’t coping well. So she recommended that my dad sign me up for some group therapy with some other kids who were experiencing a similar situation. It was enormously helpful to know that I wasn’t alone and to get to play games and talk about my situation openly with other kids, as well as an adult. It’s not the kind of thing we talked about on the playground at school.

So if your child is having regular emotional outbursts, crying daily, having unexplained physical symptoms, or seems disconnected from their feelings entirely, get some professional help for them. In my opinion, it is always worth the cost of therapy to help a kid through a difficult transition.

10. If you’re dating, save the introductions until after the divorce is final, and even then, tread very lightly

I’m going to be blunt here. Until your divorce is final, please DO NOT introduce your kids to your new fling. It can be extremely confusing for kids to meet someone as the “babysitter” or “friend” only to later discover that they are in fact your new romantic partner. Just don’t go there. Depending on your state’s divorce laws, this could also cause you a whole bunch of trouble as you negotiate your divorce.

In fact, even after a finalized divorce, please tread lightly in this area. Meeting a string of people you’re casually dating is not helpful for your children. Only introduce your kids to a new romantic interest if you’re getting serious and the kids have had some time to process the truth that their parents will not be getting back together.

Also, don’t watch The Parent Trap, or any other movie that could give your kids false hope about you getting back together. But do read books about separation and divorce and answer their questions as honestly as possible while keeping their development in mind.

I guess I had quite a bit to say on this topic! May your relationships with your children continue to grow and thrive, even as you navigate your separation from your spouse or partner.

Warmly, Shelly

 

 

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I’m Back! Here’s What I’ve Been Up To (Starting a Montessori charter school)

It’s been YEARS since I’ve actively blogged and you might have been wondering why you haven’t gotten any posts from Awake Parent for a while.

After my miscarriage I did get pregnant again and while I was pregnant, my husband’s office manager at his Chiropractic office left. He had wanted us to work together for years and I had resisted, since I loved working from home so much. But in 2013, I agreed to become the new Business Manager at Heartstone Family Chiropractic.

Now I know more than I ever wanted to know about medical insurance billing

It was a bit of learning curve, but I figured it all out and then in 2014, our son was born! Our daughter was absolutely thriving in her Montessori preschool but there were ZERO Montessori elementary programs available in Bend, OR. Even if there had been a private option for Montessori elementary, I concluded that it would cost us over $100,000 to send both of our kids through Montessori preschool and elementary. With free (yes I do pay my taxes) public school as an option, it just didn’t make sense to pay so much for elementary school when we really should be saving for college.

So, some friends and I decided to start a tuition free, publicly funded Montessori charter school! We formed the entity “Desert Sky Montessori” in the fall of 2014 and got to work on the application to our local school district. I’ll write more about this process in future posts, but needless to say, it took a lot longer and the process was far more involved that I originally anticipated. It took us three separate applications, a bunch of fundraising, three years, and many many volunteer hours to reach our goal.

I was the Desert Sky Montessori Board President for the entire process of our start up. So last year at this time I was frantically looking for space for our newly approved school. After more than three years of volunteer work, on my 40th birthday, I finally found out that my daughter would have a guaranteed spot in the school! We also received a $100,000 Planning grant from the Oregon Department of Education.

Our contract with our school district said that we had to sign a lease on a space by May 1st in order to open our doors in the fall of 2017. Also, none of the grant funds we had received could be used on facilities. Miracles ensued and I signed the lease on April 28th. I was so happy and relieved that we had finally found a space! Now we just had to remodel it, hire teachers, purchase furniture and materials, and get ready to welcome our students.

I started the first tuition free Montessori charter school in Central Oregon!!!

In September of 2017 we opened our school to over 100 students and my daughter began 2nd grade in her lower elementary (1st-3rd grade) classroom. Here’s a photo of my daughter and a few of her classmates after a recent small group lesson on polygons.

Montessori charter school lower elementary polygon lesson

So I guess my point is that I’ve been a bit busy while I’ve been away! But now I’m ready to come back, share even more information about conscious parenting, child development, Montessori, and my own parenting journey. But here’s the thing, my blog is going to be a bit different from now on and I wanted to give you a heads up.

No more Origami, this is me, deal with it

I turned 40 last March and there was something extremely powerful about turning 40 years old and opening a charter school that has changed me in some fundamental ways. In the past I cared a whole lot about pleasing others and making sure people like me. But when I turned 40 I found that I no longer cared as much about folding myself into Origami shapes just to please someone else. I felt more boldly myself. I didn’t need to modify my language or behavior to ensure that others felt comfortable.

So you can expect my future blogs to be more raw and real. There will likely be some cursing. I’ve learned a lot from parenting two kids, instead of just one, and from trying things that worked with #1 that absolutely flopped with #2. I’m definitely more bold but also less judgmental of others. I’ve found my grit too, so little challenges just don’t throw me off as much as they used to. I’m persistent and determined to do the things that really matter to me, and I don’t care as much about the rest.

There will be advertising

The other change you’ll notice is that I will begin some advertising on my site. I will only advertise products that I believe in or personally recommend. I may get some commissions (I hope!). And I will definitely be adding some information about one of my new loves, Young Living essential oils and products.

I understand that some folks will be upset by these changes, and that’s OK. If you’re irritated by my advertising or annoyed at how much I love Montessori education or my MLM essential oils, you’re welcome to unsubscribe. But I sure do hope you’ll stick around because I have so much great information, advice, and tons of personal stories to share with you! I’ve missed writing regularly and I’m very excited to get back to it!

I’m also considering recording some video blogs and doing some online classes. My coaching practice is reviving too. If these are things you’re interested in, please let me know. And as always, if there’s a particular topic you’re hoping I’ll write about, please share! I love to address specific issues that are happening right now. Thanks for being here and I’m excited about what’s next!

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Pre-parenting 101 Agile Parent Podcast!

Hey there! I recently had a lovely conversation/interview with John and Jahaira about their plans to get pregnant and become parents. We talked about early childhood development, sustaining a nurturing relationship with a partner before baby arrives, parent/child dynamics, mindset, and cultivating critical thinking in very young children. Also, we had fun and discussed how we might handle it if we were to see a child being spanked in a public place. Their podcast will be ongoing, so I hope you’ll check it out!

You can listen on itunes here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pre-parenting-101-shelly-birger/id952485811?i=334079282&mt=2

or on Sound Cloud here:

https://soundcloud.com/agileparents/pre-parenting-101-with-shelly-birger-phillips

Or you can go directly to John and Jahaira’s website and listen here:

http://www.agileparents.com/1/

Have a great week! Warmly, Shelly

 

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9 Gentle Parenting Hacks That Really Work

(I originally wrote this article for Lifehack.org)

Parenting in a gentle and respectful way is no easy task, especially when your child is ignoring you, refusing to cooperate, or outright defying your every request. Sometimes offering a bit more direction can be helpful, but other times, it seems no matter what you do, you end up locked in a power struggle, feeling frustrated, and wondering what you’re doing wrong. After all, they’re supposed to WANT to cooperate when we treat them with love and respect, right? If only it were that easy.

During my years as a preschool teacher and a nanny, my job depended on my ability to remain calm and garner cooperation. I simply couldn’t allow myself to yell, threaten, or physically harm the children in my care. So I was forced to find new and creative ways to deal with defiance that didn’t involve losing my temper and subsequently losing my job.

These simple gentle parenting hacks have REALLY paid off with my own child. Because even though I’m infinitely more sleep deprived and clearly no one can fire me from motherhood, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve that my daughter can hardly resist. I hesitate to call them “tricks,” because it’s not that I want to outsmart or psychologically manipulate my child into compliance. I simply want to get the day’s jobs accomplished with the least amount of resistance or conflict and the most possible fun, care, and connection. And I completely refuse to punish, threaten, or bribe my child unless I absolutely can’t come up with any more creative solutions.

So please take these suggestions in the spirit in which they’re offered. Not as a way to get what you want at the expense of your connection with your child, but as a way to help young people express their underlying needs and desires and still perform the daily tasks that are required of them, such as getting shoes on, getting into their car seat, getting dressed and the like.

OK, so here are my top 9 favorite tips, “tricks” and gentle parenting hacks to help your day with your young child go more smoothly:

1)   The Big Race—

Ready, set, go! Young people love to race and be timed to see how long it takes them to do a task they feel confident in. Proposing a race is a great way to get the job done quickly without a fuss because it meets a child’s needs for fun and play even while you’re enjoying the efficiency and speed with which they’ve completed your request. Counting aloud or using a stopwatch is the best way to remind a child that the race is on. But remember, this only works if it’s a fun game, not if it’s overused or used as a threat or a requirement to beat their former time.

2)   Surprise me!—

This one is working like a charm right now with my daughter. She loves to surprise one or both of us and also enjoys colluding with one parent to surprise the other, so if she’s resistant to a particular task I simply suggest that I would be VERY surprised if…and then I completely ignore her to give her a chance to complete the task at hand. I’m always sure to give a big reaction, “WHAT?!! You ALREADY brushed your teeth?? Wow!” to encourage a repeat performance at another time. This gives her the satisfaction of a job well done and she gets to impress us with her well-developed skills.

3)   Don’t you DARE—

When she’s really feeling defiant, I’ve found that it’s best to go with the defiance and figure out a way for her to do exactly what I want by completely defying what I’m saying. It’s clear to all involved that this is a game and my daughter delights in my protestations, “Oh no! Don’t do THAT! Rats! She’s doing it.” She especially loves the notion that by doing the given task, let’s say, getting her pajamas on quickly, she’s forcing me to do something I don’t want to do. “You’re going to MAKE me read stories, aren’t you? I was really hoping you’d dawdle so that I wouldn’t have to read tonight, but now you’re all ready and I’ll have to read. Awww.”

Children love to reverse roles once in a while so that they’re the more powerful ones, making us do tasks we don’t enjoy, rather than the reverse, which is more often the case. By giving your child this small joy, he can release his feelings of frustration and upset through laughter and connection much of the time. And personally, I much prefer holding space for laughter fits over tantrums.

4)   Show me. I’m not sure if you know how—

Young children love to prove their knowledge and prowess, so while you don’t want to minimize their abilities on a regular basis, some strategic questioning of their skills can produce immediate results. “Wait a minute, I’m not sure, do you even KNOW how to put on these shoes?” will often get a much more positive response than, “I know you know how to do that, why won’t you just cooperate?!” That’s because in the first instance, you’re playfully inviting your child to prove that they are capable, while in the second, you’re likely feeling frustrated and wishing there was some way to force them to your will.

5)   Will you be my helper?—

Similar to the above, children love to showcase their talents and especially enjoy teaching younger children recently acquired skills. “Will you please help your little sister learn to put her coat on all by herself? She doesn’t know how to do that yet,” will get far better results than a repeated request to get ready and get out the door. If this one doesn’t work right away, drop it and try something else.

6)   How many can you pick up?—

When asking a child to put away a large number of objects, say Legos, blocks, trains, stuffed animals or dinosaurs, it’s helpful to turn it into a fun game of counting as you place them into their bin or basket. Sometimes I’ll help, especially to get things started, but usually as soon as I get to 10 the children around me want to participate. I always end the clean up by announcing how many objects we picked up, “Wow! We cleaned up 37 dinosaurs! Who wants to put them back on the shelf?”

7)   Let’s pretend—

I don’t know very many kids who happily run out the door and jump into their car seats consistently, especially if they’re not excited about where they’re headed. But even this daily task can be turned into a fun game by pretending to be animals and running, jumping, hopping, skipping, flying, or slithering to the car. How would a cheetah get into a car? What sounds does an eagle make when it lands on its treetop nest? Can you reach your wing under the strap?

Engaging your child’s imagination in the midst of a mindless and required daily task can make life more fun and interesting for both you and your child. Before you know it, you’ll be on the road discussing herbivores and carnivores, making animal noises, or talking in funny accents. Now doesn’t that sound like a lot more fun that listening to a screaming kid who you’ve just physically forced into his car seat.

8)   I forget—

“Wait a minute, I forget, where does the dirty laundry go? I can’t remember, what am I supposed to do after I go to the bathroom? Wait a second; is there some sort of utensil I should use to eat my yogurt? Weren’t we going to do something before dinner tonight?”

If your child needs gentle reminders of the rules of the house or the next task on the agenda, pretending to forget so that they can remind you is a great way to help kids feel knowledgeable and responsible. This helps children take ownership of the rules and feel good about remembering. On the other hand, if we continually point out the times when our kids have forgotten the rules, they end up feeling badly and are actually discouraged from taking on more responsibility. Also, when we just repeat the rules to them over and over again, they have no reason to try to remember, they figure we’ll just tell them six times again tomorrow, so instead of repeating yourself, ask your child to remember and everyone will benefit.

If this one doesn’t seem to be working right away, get goofy with it. “Do the dirty socks go on my head? No, that doesn’t seem right. Do they go in the dishwasher? Hmmm. No, I don’t think so. Maybe I should put them on the baby?” Tickling your child’s funny bone is one of the quickest ways to garner their cooperation. It lightens the mood, brings in an element of play, and helps them remember why they like spending time with you. Fun is almost always the perfect antidote to defiance.

9)   Oh come on, you can scream louder than that!—

This one I can’t take credit for. But the other day my step-dad told me that just as a child he was with was about to lose it and throw a major tantrum over leaving the park, he simply challenged the child to take it up a notch. “You can do better than that,” he quipped, and the child instantly stopped screaming.

I think this works because instead of resisting the tantrum, we’re actually inviting it. And since the child’s normal expectation is that we’ll resist their protestations, we’ve confused them by eliminating all resistance and instead challenging them to be even more outrageous. This is peculiar and interesting to a child who is experimenting with emotional manipulation and trying to see what he can do to change the situation to her advantage.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “What we resist persists”? I’ve found it to be one of the most universal truths of life. So, by inviting, rather than resisting, we can take the steam out of a tantrum before it starts. And, if a child really does need to express his upset and we’re in a ‘bring it on’ kind of a mood, we’re much better equipped to actually hold space for the tantrum if indeed it ensues.

I’ve found that bringing this attitude to a potential tantrum shortens its length and creates connection. Because when I encourage my child to let out her rage, she feels emotionally validated and she’s able to physically release her “negative” emotions in a healthy way and in a supportive environment. Sometimes I’ll encourage her to hit the bed or roar like a lion but usually these outbursts only last a few minutes if I’m really inviting and encouraging, rather than resisting.

So these are my top 9 favorite ways to encourage cooperation without punishments, threats or bribes. I would love to know if they work for you as well as they do for me! Have a wonderful week, Shelly

 

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4 Secrets to Mindful Giving During the Holidays

Guest Post by Megan deBoer

As parents, we are often filled with conflicting desires during the holidays: we want to satisfy our children’s wishes, we want to make the holiday magical, we want to create our own family traditions all without causing financial stress and unwelcome credit card bills.  And so we try to plan…

Yet despite our best planning, there can come a moment during the whirlwind and heightened emotions of the holiday season when we find ourselves making impulsive, reactive, and unconscious spending choices.  We can be swept up in the mood, the beautiful display, the “deal!” and the hectic pace of it all.  It is easy to loose our bearings.

I have found that in moments like these I need some grounding.

To ensure that you are making mindful choices, run the following assessment when considering the purchase of a gift.  If the questions cannot be answered on the spot, it is important to pause, put the item on hold, possibly leave the store, and give yourself the time – and space – to come to a decision that feels right.  You haven’t said no yet, you are simply exploring a new process of mindful spending!

Assessing a mindful GIFT

GENEROUS–

Is this gift Generous in spirit?  Thoughtful giving is a true art.  The amount spent does not reflect your generosity by itself.  Young children are easily delighted with something that engages their imagination.   Our adult value scale does not apply.

INTENTION–

What is my Intention in giving this gift?

  • Is this something I always wanted as a child but never received?
  • Am I worried that if my child doesn’t receive X that they could experience disappointment?  Is that uncomfortable for me to imagine?  Will I experience disappointment if I cannot give this to my child?
  • Is it uncomfortable for me to compare my gift to what others will be giving?  To what their friends will receive?  To what I have given in the past?
  • Am I afraid that what I have already gotten won’t be ‘enough’?
  • Will this gift satisfy a long awaited wish for my child?
  • Will this gift inspire my child – who they are right now – and add joy to their life?

FAIR –

Is the cost of this gift Fair to our family’s resources?  Does it fit into my spending plan?  If not, is there a creative way that I can give this gift (or an alternate) responsibly?

TIME —

Will my child have the necessary Time – and space – to enjoy this gift?  Our children are given gifts from many family members – for birthdays and holidays.   It can be overwhelming for them to receive more gifts than they can actually enjoy in their available time.

We can justify most spending – especially to our children – if we craft the right story to tell ourselves.  But giving mindfully means we give generously, with clear intention, in a way that is fair to our resources, and honors the time and space our children must have in order to receive and enjoy the gift.

Our gifts have the amazing ability to become a symbol of our love in tangible form. Sometimes they feed our souls and sometimes our bodies, like the Manly Man edible arrangements a friend of mine received last year. Our gifts can also hold unintended and unconscious messages.  Our unconscious spending does not serve us, or our children, in the way we may hope.

This season, give mindfully and trust that your love is the purest gift – in tangible or intangible form.  Exaggerate the magic, the mystery, and the endurance of love in your celebrations.  Share your own joy abundantly with your children and spouses in the traditions that give meaning to you – this is a gift that your children will pass to your grandchildren, and all the children who will come after them.

May you have a joyous holiday season, mindfully celebrating and sharing all the joy you have in your life!

Megan deBoer is a certified Financial Recovery? Counselor, and mother of two rapidly growing girls.  She supports couples and individuals across the country as they craft a healthy relationship with their money.  Visit TendedWealth.com to find out more.

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