“Have to?” Are you sure about that?

October 22, 2009March 3, 2012

“Have to?” Are you sure about that?

I’m gearing up for a five-day retreat in which I’ll study Nonviolent Communication Mediation intensively. As many of you know, I work as a mediator and Shelly and I use the insights of Nonviolent Communication, based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg, in our work here at Awake Parent.

One of my favorite insights, or, “reframes,” as my girlfriend likes to call it, is taking the phrase “I have to…” and rephrasing it as, “I choose to…because I want…” So, for example, “I have to go to this stupid job I hate,” might become something like, “I choose to keep this job because the salary affords me things I want and need, like health insurance, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing I have reliable income.” read more

October 14, 2009March 3, 2012

The upside of anger

OK, I’ll admit it, I haven’t seen the movie, The Upside of Anger, but I have experienced the benefits of anger for myself. I know it sounds strange, but hear me out.

As a young child I was terrified of anger. I was pretty much convinced that anger was the exact opposite of love and I did whatever I could to avoid the wrath of my parents. My theory about anger was proven right when I saw my parents who were often angry at each other eventually stop loving each other and divorce. So I resolved never to induce anger in others and also never to express it. You see, I’m all about the love and since anger was the opposite of love it had to go. read more

July 28, 2009March 2, 2012

What to do when they’re being demanding

Our first video blog!

Hey there! I’m so excited about my very first Awake Parent video blog! In today’s blog I’m answering a question from my friend Marcella, who’s having some challenges with her stepson. Sometimes he has a “demanding attitude” and Marcella is ready to transform this irritating behavior. Oh! And prepare yourself for our new audio program “Perspectives on Feelings” which will be available in August! More info coming soon about that. First, a quick video on dealing with a demanding attitude… read more

July 21, 2009March 2, 2012

Listen to your body

I’ve been wanting to be a mom for as long as I can remember. And I’ve prepared in all sorts of ways for my future children. After I graduated from college I realized that I wasn’t very patient, so I went to work at a preschool (yeah, I love a challenge). I knew that 3 year olds were difficult for me to be with, so I headed straight for the 3-4yo classroom to practice patience and learn how little people learn best. More recently I was a nanny for several amazing boys, practicing newborn care, learning to handle sibling rivalry, and generally practicing for motherhood. read more

July 10, 2009March 2, 2012

Five keys to Conscious Parenting

Whether mild or extreme, we probably all know someone who had things happen to them in the past that they don’t want to repeat in the present. One of my favorite quotes is from Pam Leo, who said, “Let’s raise children who won’t have to recover from their childhood[s].” But aside from managing not to repeat some our parents’ biggest mistakes, how do we know we’re getting where we want to go? Here are five keys to Conscious Parenting that we can keep in mind when we wonder if we’re on the right track.