Kids’ contributions – Page 2

June 15, 2011October 7, 2012

Calling all drama queens and comedians

School is out for the summer, which is great fun for the kids and a bunch of extra work and shuffling for you. It’s challenging to make the transition from having the kids in school all day to having them home, or finding enough activities to keep them busy and engaged.

Some children really thrive on a slow paced, relaxed, summer schedule. But other kids go a little bonkers when you take away the social outlet of school. If you’ve got a drama queen or a comedian on your hands, consider sending them to an acting camp.

Through my work with young people I’ve found that lots of kids who seem to be “acting out” or are “too wild” just need an appropriate outlet for their energy and enthusiasm about life. They need an activity that is both intellectually and physically challenging, so that they’re engaging many different parts of their brain. Acting camp could be just the thing these kids are craving.

During an acting camp, kids get to play fun games that teach them the basics of improvisation and acting. With those tools in their back pockets, many young people can redirect their “wild” energy into comedy improv, or putting on a production either by themselves, with friends or siblings, or with a church group or neighborhood group.

And, as their skills develop, you’ll enjoy their antics more and more, and they’ll get the positive attention they’re really craving. It’s really a win-win.

But if acting camp isn’t available in your area or doesn’t fit into your budget well, the internet is filled with information about super fun comedy improv games you can play with your family without any special training.

One of my favorite sites for that kind of information is Improv 4 Kids

Here are a few fun improv games off the top of my head:

1) Yes And- Go around the circle and create something fun like the most fun amusement park, the best sandwich, the ideal playground, or the coolest new invention. Each person adds an idea and then the next person exclaims, “YES!! And…” and adds another dimension to the vision.

2) Making up a silly song- This is easiest with a familiar tune and a list of words that rhyme. You might want to start off with Raffi’s “Down by the Bay” and then branch out when the kids have the hang of it.

3) Using props in interesting ways- Get some stuff from the kitchen and around the house and put it into a box. Set an egg timer and then let your child reach into the box, grab something and pretend it’s something else. Robin Williams is particularly good at this game!

So, I hope you’ll check out all the possibilities in your area for acting and improv classes for kids. Who knows, maybe you’ll spark a life long love of theatre! As always I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. Please leave me a comment! And have a wonderful week, Shelly

Oh, and I was interviewed in Inspired Lady Radio on Monday. If you’d like to listen to the show which features me and Lori Petro, go to BlogTalkRadio “Thanks, but this is my child“.

May 18, 2011March 19, 2012

The Magic of Family Meetings

We have work meetings, book club meetings, non-profit organization meetings, and yet very few families have family meetings. However, in my parenting coaching, and especially with families of children ages 3-17, family meetings are one of the best ways I’ve found to help families get on the same page, air their dirty laundry, establish rules and expectations, and move from tension back to joy and playfulness.

But there are some definite dos and don’ts when it comes to creating a family meeting that works well and is sustainable. Here are my tips for family meetings that will help you re-connect and get down to business.

1) Keep it short- The younger your children are, the shorter your meeting should be. For children under 5, try to keep it to 20 minutes tops. As your children grow and mature, meetings will get slightly longer, but nobody wants to sit in a meeting for longer than an hour, so try to prioritize and keep your commentary to a minimum.

2) The fun sandwich- If you want your kids to love family meetings, then be sure there’s something they really like at the beginning and at the end. You could do a round of appreciations at the beginning and pizza and a movie afterward, or you might try an empathy game at the beginning and a game of basketball at the end. Or, perhaps you’ll start with a group hug and end by planning the next family vacation.

3) Grievances, chores, and other business in the middle- keep this part short too, but this is the meat of the family meeting where you’ll really make progress toward a mutual understanding of what your family’s rules, chores, and goals are. Sometimes it helps to have a poster board, white board, or other visual representation of what you’re discussing.

4) Play “Yes, And”- If you’d like the input of every family member as you create a new chore structure, plan a vacation, or figure out how to work some fun into your busy lives, try playing “Yes, And” It’s a simple game in which you first set up the task and then take turns making contributions. The rule is that you cannot argue against anyone’s contribution, you can only add your own by enthusiastically saying, “YES! And…” So you might start by saying something like, “Let’s imagine the best Saturday afternoon ever” and then each person takes a turn sharing something they’d enjoy doing on an imaginary Saturday. The idea is to get excited, use your imagination and practice being a yes to one another’s ideas. Then, after the game, you can agree on an actual plan for the day.

5) Chore wheel- A chore wheel is a fun way to establish who will do what and then you can easily trade chores every week or month. It does take a little bit of preparation before the meeting, but you’ll be amazed how something as simple as an engaging and visual reminder will help the young people in your life complete their chores on time.

So, those are my tips for a successful and sustainable family meeting. I would love to hear about your experiences with meetings in the past and/or how these tips work for you.

Have a fabulous week, Shelly

November 11, 2010November 11, 2010

The magic question

Are you wanting more ease and cooperation from your kids this week? I have a magic question that will get you exactly that. One great thing about this question is that it also works well with other adults. Another wonder of this magic question is that when people ask you this question you feel honored, cared for, and free to say yes or no.

This question empowers you and your loved ones to communicate openly, honestly, and freely. It can even help you learn more about your children and their motivations. OK, are you ready for it? The magic question is, “Would you be willing to ____?” Variations on this question might be “Would you?” “Could you?” or “Will you please?”

But a huge part of the magic of the question is that it’s a true request. When you ask, “Would you be willing to help me carry in the groceries?” you’re actually asking for help, not demanding it. So be careful with the variations unless you’re sure you’re truly asking. Sometimes our demands can be subtle and veiled, but they’re demands none-the-less.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of demanding and ordering kids around, especially when they’re resistant and uncooperative. “Brush your teeth” “Put on your shoes, we’re leaving” and “Stop hitting your sister” are the kinds of demands most kids experience daily. If you’ve fallen into the habit of making lots of demands of your kids, you’re not alone. The problem is that the more we demand, the less kids want to cooperate. And the less kids cooperate, the more we demand. It’s a vicious cycle, but you have the power to change the dynamics substantially, just by asking the magic question and being OK with whatever the answer is. Continue reading “The magic question”

July 21, 2010November 30, 2012

A Special Letter to My Soon to Be Born Baby

Lowres-4-cropped When I was a teenager I was flipping through my baby book and I saw a letter my mom had written to me before I was born. It was sweet and heartfelt and at that moment I knew on a deeper level how very wanted I was and how special I was to my mom even before she met me for the first time. It has always been important to me that I make a conscious choice to become a parent and that I wait until I’m really ready to take on the responsibilities of parenthood. So here I am, just two weeks away from my “guess date” and I’ve decided to write a letter to my baby to welcome him or her.

I notice that the closer I get to giving birth, the more my thoughts are turning inward. I’m beginning to focus on the center of my universe more than ever before. I’m preparing my nest, connecting with my husband, and enjoying the quiet alone times. So, rather than sharing some new parenting tip or technique, this week, I’m just sharing from my own heart. I’m glad to know that I can share so personally here along with all the other ways I share. And I hope you enjoy this special blog. So, here’s my letter to my about to be born baby.

Dear Baby,

Wow, you’re almost here and we are so excited to finally meet you. Your dad and I have been waiting for you for 9 long months and pretty soon we’ll get to see you, touch you, and gaze into your beautiful eyes. I’m especially looking forward to holding you in my arms and nuzzling your sweet smelling head. Let’s spend hours together just cuddling, nursing, sleeping, and enjoying life together.

I can’t wait to be your mama. I’ve been preparing for motherhood since I was a young girl and I feel so ready to welcome you into my life. I’ve studied everything I could about how to be a good parent, how to help you learn and grow, and how to be the best example I can be for you. I’ve even practiced by taking care of lots of other babies and kids, but really it was all for you. Taking care of you and teaching you how to take good care of yourself sounds like the most fun and rewarding thing I could possibly do in my life. Thanks for helping me fulfill my life’s purpose. Continue reading “A Special Letter to My Soon to Be Born Baby”

May 19, 2010September 22, 2017

Pets help kids learn empathy

Kids & Dog Have you ever noticed that the way kids are around animals is like a microcosm of the way they are around everyone? When young people are happy, comfortable, and compassionate, they treat animals with kindness and care. And when they’re upset about something or feeling picked on and powerless, they often take out their aggressions on the family pet.

If you have a pet, pay attention this week to how your children treat the animals in your home. Are they gentle and caring, allowing the pet to come to them? Or do they chase, pull, grab, and harass the family cat or dog?

If your child is treating animals with care, you can develop their empathy skills even further by assigning them responsibilities like feeding the animals and giving them water. Older kids can even help brush and bathe the family pet. By taking the time to care for another, young people can begin to realize that they can have a positive impact on others through their care and hard work.

If on the other hand, your child is treating animals in a less than compassionate way, this is a perfect opportunity for them to learn empathy! By showing your child how to touch a pet in a way that is pleasurable for the animal, you can help your child develop a new awareness of other creatures and their likes and dislikes. When you remind your child that the cat doesn’t like to be chased, but will come and sit on her lap if invited, you’re teaching her patience, kindness, and how to be magnetic and inviting. What a great set of skills! Continue reading “Pets help kids learn empathy”