Guest Post: Finding Contentment in the Midst of Chaos

Guest Post by Heather Chauvin

I used to believe that parenting was this ‘life sucking’ transition where you no longer can do anything for yourself and only give give give.

That parenting model wasn’t working for me.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I knew something needed to change.

The scariest part of it all was, “how do I change?”

It was about 4 years ago when I was introduced to the concept of ‘mindfulness’. I’m not talking about going to yoga everyday or sitting on a cushion meditating for an hour in the morning. I’m talking about mindfulness as a lifestyle. Becoming aware of HOW my personal beliefs affected my thoughts, actions and my reality.

I was miserable and it was affecting my children (and my marriage).

Happiness. Confidence. Passion. Excitement. Energy. I so badly wanted all of these things, not only for myself but also for my overly anxious child. But how do you get all of these things while raising awesome kids?

How To Change Old Habits And Find Contentment During Chaos

1) Let go.

The mind plays tricks on us and paints unrealistic expectations of what life ‘should’ look like. When we listen to these expectations and we do not meet them, we get overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and sometimes guilt consumes our thoughts. Let it go. Let go of the unrealistic expectation that your house needs to be cleaned, your child need to act a certain way or that you can’t take a nap during the day. Your body needs sleep, take them often!

2) Be curious, not judgmental.

I’m a huge fan of goals but don’t take them too seriously. Life isn’t meant to be planned to ‘perfection’, there is no such thing. Expect the unexpected, always question ‘why’ and don’t settle for the cultural norm.

3) Take action.

Leadership was one of skills I didn’t know I was missing 4 years ago. I was so use to being miserable and expecting someone else to ‘fix’ my problems that I had to recondition myself to take action (if I wanted something to change). You always have a choice. Are you going to take action or wait until things progressively get worse?

4) Breathe.

You have lungs for a reason, use them. Often times our mind starts spinning and we don’t know where to start. Stop what you’re doing. Feel what you’re feeling and breathe through the discomfort.

Parenting is a journey just like anything else. There is no right or wrong. Every child is unique. Every family is different. Trust that you know what you’re doing and keep at it until you find relief and can wake up everyone with a smile on your face

BIO:

Heather Chauvin is a mental health and self-esteem expert who has made it her mission to enhance the lives of women and children through conscious living. Heather has a Bachelor of Social Worker Degree and wide variety of continuing education certification in the mental health and holistic sector. Heather also carries a decade of experience working with many diverse populations locally and abroad. Heather leads dynamic training programs that teach both adults and children to succeed in life and accomplish anything they put their minds to.  Her unique life experience and professional trainings gives Heather a one-of-a kind approach to personal growth and development. You can find her at http://heatherchauvin.com/

Guest Blog: Parenting is my mindfulness practice

mindfulnessThis week’s guest blog is by Kendra:

My 14-month old son, Trent, has recently developed a new scream so incredibly grating that it defies description.  It’s times like these that I am glad I have a mindfulness practice.

When I was in my early 20’s I lived in a Zen monastery for several years.  Back then, mindfulness meant hours & hours of seated meditation and spending most of my time in silence & contemplation.  Mindfulness meant bowing silently to my fellow monks instead of mindlessly asking, “hey, how you doing?” & raking the courtyard with such precision that every rake mark was parallel.

Once I left the monastery & moved to San Francisco, I meditated occasionally, I did some yoga, I tried to be mindful…but LIFE was always getting in the way:  there was a business to build, parties to go to, friends to meet, and email to respond to.  Who had the time to sit down and do nothing for an hour?!?!?

My son started re-teaching me mindfulness before he was even born:  I had to take the time to make healthy meals, I had to remember to drink water, I had to take daily walks, and I had to get 8 hours of sleep every night – if I didn’t take care of myself, he let me know by way of nausea, headaches, full-body aches, and complete & utter exhaustion, this was not OK.  He was teaching me to slow down, to listen, to silently bow to my experience instead of always being off to the next thing.

One of my yoga teachers has a saying, “You can pay me now, or you can pay me later.” And she’s not talking about money.  Trent was teaching the value of paying upfront; the beauty of living life in the moment (and not having to worry when my credit would catch up to me).

For parents, the question remains:  who has the time to sit still & do nothing for an hour?!?!?

And, so, my son is my mindfulness practice. Continue reading “Guest Blog: Parenting is my mindfulness practice”