Tag: Parenting tips

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How can I keep my independent two-year-old safe?

My friend Mindy had a recent challenge with her two-year-old son. She wrote:

Shelly, We have a big challenge. I like to leave our doors open to the backyard, so Thomas and the animals (we have two dogs and a cat) can go in and out as they wish.

Today Thomas crawled under the automatic gate into the front yard!

Then he came around to the front door and played a game out of it. But I’m terrified he is going to go near the street or in it, or someone is going to snatch him. I really can’t watch him well enough now that I have Tabitha (3 mo.) to ensure he won’t do it again, and there is no way to alter the gate to prevent his tiny little body from going under it. What do I do?
Continue reading “How can I keep my independent two-year-old safe?”

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How Rocking, Spinning, and Swinging Your Kids Helps Them Pay Attention

Ever wonder why we have the impulse to rock babies to help them calm down?

Studies show that rocking, spinning and other physical movement through space helps children’s brain development and their ability to pay attention, by stimulating the vestibular (inner ear) system.

And here’s the thing, this works with both infants and older kids. It can also be a really fun way for you to cut lose and play with your kids.

So, the next time your little guy is about to lose it, check with him about whether it sounds fun, and then spin around with him in your arms, or take him to a nearby swing-set.

Even hanging upside down can produce vestibular stimulation. Just make sure he’s enjoying it, and not getting dizzy or upset. It never hurts to ask, “Is this okay?”

Believe it or not, when we get lots of motion through space (like on a swing, dancing, or spinning) it actually helps our senses work better. With some well-timed rocking or spinning, stimulation, your little dude could be settling down with his dinosaurs for some sustained play time.

In other words, you may get to shower today! Hooray!

So here’s the deal with vestibular stimulation: Continue reading “How Rocking, Spinning, and Swinging Your Kids Helps Them Pay Attention”

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Conscious television: Four ways to avoid guilt and get more in the groove with the tube

I’m always humbled into a moment of silence when a parent tells me, “We don’t have a television.” I think, Wow, no fallback plan when you’re craving a moment of silence with every cell of your body; Enduring kids’ inevitable comparisons to friends’ families who do have on-screen entertainment.

I also admire them for being part of a committed cadre of people who have taken a huge step to find alternatives to prefabricated images, to stimulate their kids’ imaginations.

I am not one of those people.

Maybe I will be when I grow up.

In the meantime, purity (such as being 100% free of TV) feels like a luxury to me, or else a supreme effort I’m not usually up for.  Incremental choices do count, and can be incredibly powerful. I breastfed most, not all of the time. I eat meat only occasionally, sparing the cows and the planet more than my palate alone would choose.

Similarly, every household with a TV (and I daresay that’s most) gets to make choices about when the TV gets turned on, what gets watched, and what (if any) kind of interactions adults and kids have around the content.

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Five Keys to Getting Kids to Help with Clean-up

Ever wonder why you can’t get your kids to help clean up?

I know, it seems like a nice idea and all, but how the heck do you actually get kids to want to and enjoy helping with clean up?

At first, I didn’t think it was possible either. But it turns out, I was grossly underestimating young people.

In fact, during my first year as a preschool teacher in a Montessori school, my limited ideas of the kids’ cleaning capabilities were completely blown out of the water!

I looked around the classroom and saw three-year-olds sweeping, mopping, dusting, and helping each other clean up messes!

Three year olds. No kidding!

Now here’s the kicker: Not only were these young people happily cleaning up after themselves and each other, they also felt proud of their accomplishments and were internally motivated to continue!

So, how can you get your kids to help you out around the house? Continue reading “Five Keys to Getting Kids to Help with Clean-up”

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The big secret of loving yourself: A Valentine for mothers

All my life I have felt ambivalent about many of the labels available to describe me or my life: Woman. Bisexual. Wife. Even “Mother.” Not because I don’t have a womb, don’t love people of many genders, have not been a committed partner, or am not a parent, but because of how I disidentify with some of the assumptions that other people attach to these words.

These days, I don’t care as much about what other people attach to words they think describe me. But on this week approaching Valentine’s day, I warmly invite all parents, especially female parents (however you define that), to love ourselves.

As mothers, we can so easily get barnacled over with everyone else’s wants, needs, expectations, that it can be hard to recognize the powerful and sexy being in the mirror for who we are underneath all that.
Continue reading “The big secret of loving yourself: A Valentine for mothers”

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