Play – Page 4 – Awake Parent

May 5, 2010November 11, 2012

Laughter, the perfect antidote for a power struggle.

fal048 We’ve all been there, it’s time to leave, your child wants to stay and continue to play, you’re tired and ready to go, a conflict is brewing. How we handle these difficult moments can be the difference between a fantastic day and a really rough one. And really, either one is available to us in a given moment, we just have to be able to access enough creativity to create the fun, laughter filled connection we’re wanting, rather than falling into a negativity trap.

I know, you’re thinking, but wait, when I’m tired and grumpy, the LAST thing I am is creative. Well, that’s where I come in. I can offer you some fun strategies to create more laughter and connection and all you have to do is remember to use them when the time comes. Sound good?

So here we go, five ways to turn a potential power struggle into a fun, connecting experience for you and your kids.

1) Turn it into a game– Any time you feel yourself wanting to exert your will, try turning it into a game instead. Rather than threatening dire consequences, or complaining about how your kids don’t listen, figure out what kind of game you could all play that would get the job done and be fun for them. Hopping like a bunny to get to the car, strapping on your rocket booster shoes, or finding the keys in a scavenger hunt are all more fun that a grumpy parent frowning and grumbling. And who knows, if you practice this one enough, you might even find YOURSELF having more fun and laughter as you move through your day with your kids.

2) Go for the giggle– What do your kids find hilarious? Is it peek-a-boo, funny hats, new accents, or physical humor like bumping into things or falling down? It could be burps and farts or backwards clothing. But whatever it is that sends your little ones into peels of laughter, do more of it! Laugher is a wonderful way to connect and release pent up emotions. Use it to your advantage whenever you feel a power struggle coming on. After a good laugh, everyone’s more willing to cooperate. Continue reading “Laughter, the perfect antidote for a power struggle.”

March 25, 2010March 25, 2010

Giving kids power helps them cooperate

kid_power4 If you’re noticing that your kids are having a difficult time cooperating or listening or generally following your lead, first let me remind you, you’re not alone. Lots of parents go through this difficulty every day. I know it can be super frustrating when you’re just trying to get things done, or get to the store, or follow the rules, and your child is fighting you every step of the way.

One way to encourage cooperation from kids is to designate some time each week (or day) where they get to be in charge. Somehow by allowing kids to take the lead for even 10 minutes a day, you’ll find that they’re much more willing to allow you to take the lead for the rest of the time. There are several ways you can do this.

First, let your child know that for the next 10 minutes, they get to be in charge, they’re the boss, the parent, or the king or queen of your home. Tell them that as long as the activities they choose are safe, you’ll follow their lead.

You can try playing follow the leader and allow the youngest child in your household to be the leader. Follow along as if you’re completely entranced by the activities your child is doing and encourage any other siblings to play too. You’ll be amazed at what a difference it can make in the life of a young child when they get this time to be in charge, tell people what to do, and watch them do the silly things they’ve thought up.

If you think about it, young people get so little of this kind of play time, they’re starving for some king or queen time. Kids are constantly told where to be, what to wear, how to act, and to “hurry up”. Imagine how good it feels to them when they get to be the ones in charge, bossing us around for a change. They love it!

For more games you can play that your kids will love and that will encourage their sense of power and control over their lives Continue reading “Giving kids power helps them cooperate”

March 10, 2010March 10, 2010

An easy game for busy times: The “find it” game

green-kids-treasure-hunt-lg The “find it” game is a fun game for times when you don’t have a lot of attention to give but you want to help stimulate your child’s mind and have fun together even while you’re busy at other tasks.

This game can be modified for ages 1-7. For the youngest kids you can ask your child to find something familiar like his favorite stuffed animal or blanket. Then, you can ask your child to put it in an unusual place (like in the dry bathtub) and then go find it again. The ability to remember where something is and go retrieve it even when it’s out of sight is a useful skill for young children as it requires memory and visualization.

As your child grows older and needs a more complex “find it” game, you can ask her to find a blue crayon, a red triangle, or a specific item from a specific drawer.

So let’s say you’re busy cooking and your child seems bored. You can offer, “Hey, do you want to play the ‘find it’ game?” You’ll usually hear an enthusiastic yes from your child. “Great! Can you go into the bathroom and look in the far right drawer and find me a brown hair tie?” When they’ve brought it, “Thanks! Now let’s see, can you find your baby brother’s favorite book? The one about the white mitten?” Continue reading “An easy game for busy times: The “find it” game”

April 22, 2009March 2, 2012

Nine ways to exercise with children

Have you been lamenting your lack of exercise? Thinking back on the days when you used to get to go to the gym, or run around your neighborhood or swim laps at the pool? Kid time is sometimes almost all our time—and the kind of “running around” we do with them doesn’t always feed our body’s need for vigorous (or gentle) and sustained exercise.

Here are some of the ways I’ve found to bring exercise back in, with activities that you and your kids both enjoy, and that give you the added benefit of that exercise you’ve been craving to round out your life, keep you physically fit, and elevate your mood. You can adapt these suggestions to your mobility level.

1. Go for a long walk outdoors. People who walk in nature report that they feel happier after a walk in the woods than they did when they started. Find a trail where you can both walk, or where you can walk and push a stroller, or where your child can run, or scoot on a scooter (a great way for them to develop coordination). A brisk walk can revitalize your and your child’s circulatory system, and a controlled dose of sunshine will do you both some good. If it’s cold, bundle up. If it’s raining, throw on ponchos.

2. Play chase. Pretend you can’t catch your child, so they can feel powerful. Then run away from them and let them “catch” you. Before you do, you might be able to run several laps around them. Depending on how long their energy lasts, you might be able to get in a good aerobic workout.

3. Go for an actual dedicated run with your child around a local track. If you have an infant or very young child, you might be able to run pushing a stroller. Or, if your older child runs slower, you can run circles around them, and make a game out of it. In this case, your goal will be to keep up your own pace. You can talk with them beforehand about your goals, for example, “I want to run for twenty minutes. You can run with me, let me run around you, follow on your scooter, or stay on the side where I can see you and play with your toys and books.” Did I mention it helps to bring toys and books almost anywhere? Continue reading “Nine ways to exercise with children”

April 15, 2009March 2, 2012

How to get time for yourself: Set your kids up for independent play

Create new exciting activities your kids will love and read a novel for a change!

Remember how you used to love to read for pleasure? You’d spend hours in a well-lit room with a book and at the end of it, you didn’t know a new recipe, have another way to spice things up in the bedroom, or learn how to install blinds. Instead, you had memories of far away landscapes and intimate relationships with imaginary characters

Ahh, the joy of fiction.

But now, you have kids. You don’t have time to read for pleasure– right? WRONG!!! In fact, it’s more important than EVER that you do WHATEVER brings you joy and pleasure.

You are your child’s most important influence and, along with any other caregivers, the people she’s most likely to emulate. Don’t you want your child to ENJOY life?!

Of course you do, so please, take extra time today and every day to take good care of yourself and enjoy your own process of living and growing.

Your homework for this week: Take good of yourself, give yourself things you enjoy, and become your kids’ example of how to enjoy your life. Continue reading “How to get time for yourself: Set your kids up for independent play”