I know I’m usually sharing all sorts of ideas for activities with kids or ways to handle conflict lovingly, but today I want to talk about the importance of taking time AWAY from your kids.
We all need alone time but I hear from a lot of parents that they feel guilty when they take time away from their kids. Let me allay your fears. Yes, you are your child’s biggest influence and the people they most need to connect with, AND it’s absolutely healthy and good for them to develop relationships with other adults.
It seems like just about the time we feel we’ve given all we can and we need some “me time” kids suddenly need even more from us. We can become frustrated and resentful and begin to give out of obligation or guilt, rather than giving from true generosity. If that’s what’s happening for you, my invitation for this week is to take a break, stop giving for a moment, and reset.
In my parenting coaching I get a lot of questions from parents about how to discipline effectively and what to do instead of time-outs, spanking, yelling and other common discipline tactics.
When I was about three years old I developed a fear of the dark. I can remember being terrified in complete darkness and feeling so comforted by a nightlight or a hall light left on with my bedroom door left open. I don’t remember what precipitated the fear, but I do remember it was real and I really appreciated it when my parents responded compassionately.
It’s easy to become overprotective of kids, especially our own. It’s as if we can suddenly see 10 steps ahead and we KNOW that something horrible is about to happen. But what if our children don’t actually need our warnings, fears, and concerns in order to keep themselves safe?