Author: Jill

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What kind of parenting life do you want? Get specific!

This article is kicks off our Whole Life Parenting series, which offers practical tips to meet the needs of both parents and children.

It’s spring. Time to think about renewal, visions, and growing the lives we want.

Do you want to have a life in addition to having a child?

I think that’s perfectly reasonable.

What do you want that life to look like?

Between school, the babysitting coop, and my work with Awake Parent, I talk to parents quite a bit.  I’ve noticed that many parents, particularly parents of young children, are pretty much consumed with parenting. Parenting is their life. read more

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Three benefits of being a “Show-up” dad

I just talked with a new coworker whose pictures of his beautiful family were flashing over his screen. We talked about parenting, and kids. Here’s what he said about fatherhood:

“My wife and I have very separate busy lives, but because we are both active in our daughter’s life, our relationship grows stronger.  Many times I wonder how I “turned out OK” because my father was the typical dad of his day, and I was on my own to “grow up.”  Taking an active role in helping my daughter learn new things continues to teach me about myself in return!  The ability to be a part of her life and development as a person is one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given.” read more

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The big secret of loving yourself: A Valentine for mothers

All my life I have felt ambivalent about many of the labels available to describe me or my life: Woman. Bisexual. Wife. Even “Mother.” Not because I don’t have a womb, don’t love people of many genders, have not been a committed partner, or am not a parent, but because of how I disidentify with some of the assumptions that other people attach to these words.

These days, I don’t care as much about what other people attach to words they think describe me. But on this week approaching Valentine’s day, I warmly invite all parents, especially female parents (however you define that), to love ourselves. read more

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Use your words, Mama! How to be vulnerable AND strong with your kids

I now have great sympathy for whomever said, “Children should be seen and not heard.” Sometimes it feels like the last thing I can manage is to process yet another whine, yell or insult at the end of a long day. It’s times like those I want to reach for an “off” button. Or to borrow Shelly’s patience :-).

While responding to Jasmine’s comment last week, I started thinking about the different ways I handle behaviors that challenge me. While there are probably an infinite number of ways I respond, I can think of two main ways: vulnerable and controlling.

A simple way of breaking it down is, sometimes, when I feel sad, angry or frustrated, I feel myself opening, expanding, and dropping down into the feeling. Sort of an “Ahhhhhh” sense to it. That’s the vulnerable way.

Other times, I feel myself contracting, pushing the feeling aside and trying to control the situation. More of “Spit-spot, let’s go!”-Mary Poppins sort of feel to it. (Well, on a good day.) read more

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