Category: Making conscious choices

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Moving toward sustainability

Considering our environmental impact and moving toward sustainability is something that every modern day aware parent is faced with, but sometimes the task can seem daunting and it can be difficult to tell whether we’re really making a difference.

Finding out what your carbon footprint is can be a great jumping off point.  There is a list of 15 carbon calculators here http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/climate-change/stories/the-15-best-carbon-calculators# You’ll find that car travel, air travel, and household power are often the largest contributors to your family’s carbon footprint.  You can do things like wash clothes in cold, change your light-bulbs to the new more efficient compact fluorescent bulbs, and lower your household heat by 5 degrees.

But there are a few other ideas which don’t appear in many of these calculators that I want to share with you.   By living consciously in our relationship to the environment, we can teach kids to consider their impact on the Earth and maybe get them to turn off the water when they’re brushing their teeth or compost their apple cores.  Before we know it, these kids will be all grown up and dealing with the biggest environmental challenges humans have ever seen.  So let’s do what we can to start them off on the right foot. Continue reading “Moving toward sustainability”

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Finding joy in the mundane

Being with a newborn can often be super fun and rewarding and at other times it can be incredibly boring.  There’s not a whole lot of interaction happening yet but there is a lot of extra laundry and additional housework because we’re home more often.  But in the moments when I’m thinking I might go crazy if I have to wash the poop out of one more diaper, I remember something I learned from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book “Peace is Every Step”.  Every mundane moment of our lives is an opportunity to be present and enjoy life.

I want to say that again, because I think it bears repeating.  Every moment of our lives is an opportunity to be present and enjoy life.  That means that at every stop-light, every time we’re waiting in line at the store, and during every load of laundry we are given a gift.  The opportunity to enjoy the moment is always there.

As I was reading Peace is Every Step, I read a particular passage about dishes.  At the time I HATED doing dishes.  I avoided them, pushed them off on my boyfriend or housemate, and if I was forced to do dishes I grumbled and cursed my way through the experience.  I was definitely NOT enjoying any part of the experience.

But then I read Thich Nhat Hanh’s words about enjoying the warm soapy water and mindfully washing each dish with care and a switch flipped inside me.  Continue reading “Finding joy in the mundane”

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The simpler the better

Hey Everybody, I’m back!  My beautiful daughter is nearly 2 months old and I’m excited to be back in touch with you all.Before I go on, a special thanks to all my guest bloggers. You all really helped me out and provided great content for our awakeparent
community!

OK, so you know the principle of Occam’s razor?  It’s the one that states that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.  Well, so far, it’s been showing up in my world as a new parent.  Here are some examples:  1) Which is simpler, that my husband purposely hid my fork from me or that I inadvertently tossed it into the sink and forgot about it? 2) Which is simpler, using a host of stain fighting concoctions to get the poop stains out of my cloth diapers or just putting them out in the sun for an hour? 3) Which is simpler, applying lots of special creams to my baby’s butt to get rid of diaper rash or just letting her little toosh get some air a few times a day?

I’m finding it absolutely amazing how time and again, the simpler solution is the better one!  It reminds me of a book I read years ago called “The Simple Living Guide” that offered lots of simple, easy solutions to all aspects of our ever more complicated lives.  If I recall correctly the author even wrote about things like getting rid of stuff so that you’d have less to organize and keep track of.

I love the principle of simplifying on many levels.  Continue reading “The simpler the better”

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Guest Blog: Top 10 tips to deal with me now that I’m a grandparent

This week’s blog is from my stepdad Jim:

I realize I’m working against my own interests here but, as someone who’s been a parent, I’ve got some advice for you on how to deal with grandparents now that you’ve just made me one.

1. You’re in charge: You think I’ve been overbearing in the past and maybe a little too free with unsolicited “advice?” Just wait! So remember, it’s your kid and until he starts making decisions for himself you – not me – get to make the decisions for him. That means you should feel free to tell me, “That’s not how we do things,” and to donate inappropriate (or extremely loud) gifts to Goodwill.

2. Ask for the help you want: I’ll be more than happy to hold the baby while you do the dishes or babysit while you go to the store but (and this may come as a shock) I probably won’t think to offer to do the dishes or go to the store for you. However, I (probably) will if you ask.

3. It’s OK to dump the kid occasionally: It’s hard to imagine now but soon you’ll need some time away from the little sprout. Before you drop the kid off you should realize that – in spite of what you may believe – I have a life. On the other hand, I’ve never been a grandparent before and it will take a lot of imposing before I notice.

4. Ignore me: While my opinions and advice are unusually well reasoned and insightful you may – on very rare occasions – not find them useful. In that case you should feel free to ignore them. You should however remember that I did help raise you and look how well you turned out! Continue reading “Guest Blog: Top 10 tips to deal with me now that I’m a grandparent”

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Guest Blog: Family mediation- the power of the “third side”

Thomas-Hands-web

This week’s guest blog is from Jill:

Sometimes we think fighting is just “what kids (or adults) do,” rather than a way we engage when our needs aren’t getting met. I prefer to think of engaging peacefully as “what we do,” and that when we get off track, we can use a hand to get back to a place of connection.

I remember when my son was about three, his dad was in a bread-making phase. Sometimes I liked the results, and sometimes I didn’t. While at the local farmer’s market, my son and I found a particularly yummy loaf of walnut bread, and brought it home discreetly. When his dad saw it, he became incredulous.

“Bread??? You BOUGHT bread!?!?!?”

Canaan felt the tension here. I’ll never forget his response. He raised his body up, opened his arms to the two of us, and proclaimed,

“We all eat bread! There’s farmer’s market bread, and Da-da’s bread, and all kinds of bread to eat.”

Well, shall we let a thousand flowers bloom, or what?

I see this as his attempt to introduce a larger perspective, or “third side,” to his dad’s and my moment of polarization. Sometimes all this takes is showing up with a loving, aware presence.

I remember my stepmother discovering the term “triangualation” in the 80’s, and telling me it was “toxic.” She was referring to one person getting into, or in between two other people who were having a difficult time, creating a “triangle” of three people. Unfortunately, this was the only term in our universe at that time to describe a third person entering into an interaction with two others. There was no positive way to describe a third side to an entanglement.

Today, as a mediator and lifetime student of conflict resolution, I see many ways a third person can show up in a family and help to ease tensions for the other two or more people who are having a hard time to make things easier. This is something humans do intuitively, even when the results aren’t optimal. Kids do it, too, as my son demonstrated above. Continue reading “Guest Blog: Family mediation- the power of the “third side””

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