Setting kids up for success – Page 6

December 29, 2010

Watch what you say because your baby really is listening

The past few weeks my husband and I have been trying our hardest to remove some of the more colorful language from our vocabularies so that our baby’s first words aren’t profanity. Not that we curse all that much, but knowing children as I do, I know that it only take a few exposures to a word for kids to learn them, especially during the time when they’re busy expanding their vocabularies at a phenomenal rate at around 18 months old. So we’ve been saying funny things like “fire-pants!” and “rats!” or even my husband’s famous “son of a bench!”

The truth is, recent research shows that children can learn a new word after just ONE exposure and they’ll remember that word for weeks and even months, even if they haven’t heard the word since! The study itself was pretty interesting. I read about it in my new favorite book “The Scientist in the Crib” by Gopnik, Meltzoff, and Kuhl. In the study they brought 18-month-old children into the lab, showed them an apple corer and said, “Look! A dax.” Children remembered the name of the “dax” for several months even with no further exposure to apple corers in the mean time.

The process kids are going through at around 18 months when they enter their naming explosion is called “fast mapping” and that’s when your little one starts pointing to everything in sight and asking you to name it. “Whatsat?” they’ll ask repeatedly, as you well know. They also start naming everything they can and they want you to repeat things over and over again. It can be a little annoying. But when we dig in to what kids are actually doing during this time, it becomes fascinating and amazing. Continue reading “Watch what you say because your baby really is listening”

December 8, 2010December 8, 2010

The dangers of praise

Although we tend to think of praise as beneficial to kids, recent research has shown that certain kinds of praise are actually detrimental to young people. When we tell kids they’re “good” the unintended effects are that children begin to fear being seen as “bad”.

Personally, I think all kids are good all the time. They’re just easier or more difficult for us to deal with based on their behavior, but that doesn’t make them “bad”, just more challenging for us. But if we tell kids they’re good or talented or smart, the surprising consequence is that they tend to freeze up and become afraid of being seen as bad or un-talented or stupid.

In one study I read, kids were divided into two groups. Each group was given an easy puzzle to solve. After they completed the puzzle one group was told, “You’re so smart!” and the other group was told, “Wow, you tried really hard on that!”. Then they were offered the opportunity to redo the easy puzzle or to try a more challenging one.

The kids who were told they were smart chose the easy puzzle more often, probably fearing that if they failed, they wouldn’t be praised as “smart” anymore. On the other hand, the group who were told they tried hard were eager to challenge themselves and often chose the more difficult puzzle. After all, even if they failed, they would still get praise for trying, so there’s nothing to lose! Continue reading “The dangers of praise”

November 17, 2010November 17, 2010

The importance of observation

When it comes to babies, at my core, I am a scientist. The process children go through as they transform from a fetus into a walking talking human child in just the first 2 years of life fascinates me. It’s absolutely incredible really. As a scientist, I want to understand all I can about this amazing process. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned that is the same in both my scientific and my Montessori backgrounds, it’s that observation is the key to understanding child development.

My daughter has Erb’s palsy brought on by her shoulder dystocia during birth. At first I didn’t notice anything wrong, and since most babies heal on their own without any intervention, I just assumed she would too. She did seem to prefer to use her right arm and hand, but I didn’t know that wasn’t normal.

We have a wonderful pediatric physical therapist who is teaching me all about arm, shoulder and hand development in infants. She’s taught me that at three months old, Julia shouldn’t have a handedness or preference for one side over the other. So, I started paying closer attention to the specific movements we’re looking for and truly comparing her arm and hand development on the left with the development of the right. Much to my amazement there are differences that had gone unnoticed by me in the past. Although she’s starting to use her left arm more and more, she does raise her right arm above her head more often than she does with her left.

So, what does this have to do with you and with parenting in general? My point is that if we’re not paying close attention to the physical, emotional, and social development of our kids, things can slip through the cracks unnoticed. We have to take the time to actually pay attention to where kids are developmentally in order to know that they’re on track and, more importantly, in order to know how to challenge and encourage them to develop further. Continue reading “The importance of observation”

June 2, 2010June 2, 2010

Read it again please! The importance of story time

bigstockphoto_Story_Time_588 Reading to your kids is a crucially important part of your job as a parent. And sometimes story time can begin to fall through the cracks of our busy lives. So this week, I’m writing about the many reasons story time is such an important part of parenting. I’m hoping to re-inspire you to commit to a daily story time for your kids whether they’re one-year-old, six, or twelve.

My parents all helped to teach me a love of reading that has enriched my life immensely. My mom and dad read to me every night before bed when I was very young. My step-mom read me “Little Women” over the course of several months when I was nine. My mom read chapter books to my brother and me as my step-dad drove us miles and miles on our family vacations. And in junior high and high school when I showed an interest in science fiction, my step dad turned me on to Douglas Adams.

Let’s explore how reading to your children at various ages supports their growth and development:

As a baby and toddler, your little one is picking up language skills at a phenomenal rate. Reading to young people helps them increase their vocabulary, understand the parts of language, and learn the rules of English (if that’s your primary language). There is nothing else you can do that has more of an impact on your child’s future ability to read and learn than a daily story time. I recommend at least 30min. a day of reading together even with children as young as five or six months old.

When you point to objects and name them, your toddler can quickly learn to identify many more objects than he can verbalize. Try asking your pre-verbal little one to point to the ball or shoe and you’ll be amazed at how much he can comprehend, even before he can speak.

As your child grows, story time becomes a bonding, connected time that your child can count on. The emotional security that can grow from taking the time to sit down and read together is truly priceless. It lets your child know first that she’s important to you and second, that reading and learning are fun.

And by pointing to the words on the page as you read, you’re helping her learn to recognize words. Before you know it, she’ll be sight reading several words just because she’s had the repetition of hearing the word and seeing it on the page so many times before. Continue reading “Read it again please! The importance of story time”