We’ve all been there, it’s time to leave, your child wants to stay and continue to play, you’re tired and ready to go, a conflict is brewing. How we handle these difficult moments can be the difference between a fantastic day and a really rough one. And really, either one is available to us in a given moment, we just have to be able to access enough creativity to create the fun, laughter filled connection we’re wanting, rather than falling into a negativity trap.
I know, you’re thinking, but wait, when I’m tired and grumpy, the LAST thing I am is creative. Well, that’s where I come in. I can offer you some fun strategies to create more laughter and connection and all you have to do is remember to use them when the time comes. Sound good?
So here we go, five ways to turn a potential power struggle into a fun, connecting experience for you and your kids.
1) Turn it into a game– Any time you feel yourself wanting to exert your will, try turning it into a game instead. Rather than threatening dire consequences, or complaining about how your kids don’t listen, figure out what kind of game you could all play that would get the job done and be fun for them. Hopping like a bunny to get to the car, strapping on your rocket booster shoes, or finding the keys in a scavenger hunt are all more fun that a grumpy parent frowning and grumbling. And who knows, if you practice this one enough, you might even find YOURSELF having more fun and laughter as you move through your day with your kids.
2) Go for the giggle– What do your kids find hilarious? Is it peek-a-boo, funny hats, new accents, or physical humor like bumping into things or falling down? It could be burps and farts or backwards clothing. But whatever it is that sends your little ones into peels of laughter, do more of it! Laugher is a wonderful way to connect and release pent up emotions. Use it to your advantage whenever you feel a power struggle coming on. After a good laugh, everyone’s more willing to cooperate. Continue reading “Laughter, the perfect antidote for a power struggle.”
When I discovered “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman my world was turned upside down…in a good way. Chapman’s theory is that there are five primary love languages and that each of us tends to have one language we give and receive love in the most often and the most easily. He says that often people are trying to express love, but those efforts are not getting received as love by the other person. This struck a chord for me particularly in my relationship with my dad.
Parents are the ultimate experts on the art of surrender. You have to be. If we didn’t surrender to the reality of our lives as parents, we’d be miserable and struggling constantly! Instead, we learn to go with the flow, relax and let go, and accept what is. Before I was pregnant I never realized how soon this process begins. But during the first few months of pregnancy when I was nauseous unless I was constantly eating protein, I realized that I was in practice mode for parenting already. I had to let go of my own desires and eat what my baby needed. And at first I felt I was forced to surrender.
Wow, I really don’t want to write a blog today. I can feel myself resisting, procrastinating, and trying to find anything else to occupy my time. Sound familiar? Whether it’s dishes, laundry, taxes, a project for work, or just getting off the couch to get some exercise, we all have the tendency to procrastinate.
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