Parenting help – Page 7

February 25, 2009March 2, 2012

Conscious television: Four ways to avoid guilt and get more in the groove with the tube

I’m always humbled into a moment of silence when a parent tells me, “We don’t have a television.” I think, Wow, no fallback plan when you’re craving a moment of silence with every cell of your body; Enduring kids’ inevitable comparisons to friends’ families who do have on-screen entertainment.

I also admire them for being part of a committed cadre of people who have taken a huge step to find alternatives to prefabricated images, to stimulate their kids’ imaginations.

I am not one of those people.

Maybe I will be when I grow up.

In the meantime, purity (such as being 100% free of TV) feels like a luxury to me, or else a supreme effort I’m not usually up for. Incremental choices do count, and can be incredibly powerful. I breastfed most, not all of the time. I eat meat only occasionally, sparing the cows and the planet more than my palate alone would choose.

Similarly, every household with a TV (and I daresay that’s most) gets to make choices about when the TV gets turned on, what gets watched, and what (if any) kind of interactions adults and kids have around the content.

Continue reading “Conscious television: Four ways to avoid guilt and get more in the groove with the tube”

February 18, 2009April 10, 2013

Five Keys to Getting Kids to Help with Clean-up

Ever wonder why you can’t get your kids to help clean up?

I know, it seems like a nice idea and all, but how the heck do you actually get kids to want to and enjoy helping with clean up?

At first, I didn’t think it was possible either. But it turns out, I was grossly underestimating young people.

In fact, during my first year as a preschool teacher in a Montessori school, my limited ideas of the kids’ cleaning capabilities were completely blown out of the water!

I looked around the classroom and saw three-year-olds sweeping, mopping, dusting, and helping each other clean up messes!

Three year olds. No kidding!

Now here’s the kicker: Not only were these young people happily cleaning up after themselves and each other, they also felt proud of their accomplishments and were internally motivated to continue!

So, how can you get your kids to help you out around the house? Continue reading “Five Keys to Getting Kids to Help with Clean-up”

February 12, 2009March 2, 2012

The big secret of loving yourself: A Valentine for mothers

All my life I have felt ambivalent about many of the labels available to describe me or my life: Woman. Bisexual. Wife. Even “Mother.” Not because I don’t have a womb, don’t love people of many genders, have not been a committed partner, or am not a parent, but because of how I disidentify with some of the assumptions that other people attach to these words.

These days, I don’t care as much about what other people attach to words they think describe me. But on this week approaching Valentine’s day, I warmly invite all parents, especially female parents (however you define that), to love ourselves.

As mothers, we can so easily get barnacled over with everyone else’s wants, needs, expectations, that it can be hard to recognize the powerful and sexy being in the mirror for who we are underneath all that.
Continue reading “The big secret of loving yourself: A Valentine for mothers”

February 10, 2009March 2, 2012

Give yourself a Valentine’s Day gift—feel better by expressing YOUR feelings.

What are you feeling right now?

Recognizing how you feel can be challenging. In fact, I’ve been working on it for the past ten years.

I think of it as an act of self-love.

This Valentine’s Day give yourself the gift of tuning into your emotions.

I’ve been on a journey toward more and more emotional awareness over the last decade. And now, not only am I more aware of what’s going on inside me, I’m often able to tune in to others, and offer nurturing and support.

In my teens and twenties, I had become a master of stuffing my emotions. I’d feel an emotion welling up in my throat, but then I’d swallow it down and put on a happy face.
Continue reading “Give yourself a Valentine’s Day gift—feel better by expressing YOUR feelings.”

February 4, 2009March 2, 2012

Use your words, Mama! How to be vulnerable AND strong with your kids

I now have great sympathy for whomever said, “Children should be seen and not heard.” Sometimes it feels like the last thing I can manage is to process yet another whine, yell or insult at the end of a long day. It’s times like those I want to reach for an “off” button. Or to borrow Shelly’s patience :-).

While responding to Jasmine’s comment last week, I started thinking about the different ways I handle behaviors that challenge me. While there are probably an infinite number of ways I respond, I can think of two main ways: vulnerable and controlling.

A simple way of breaking it down is, sometimes, when I feel sad, angry or frustrated, I feel myself opening, expanding, and dropping down into the feeling. Sort of an “Ahhhhhh” sense to it. That’s the vulnerable way.

Other times, I feel myself contracting, pushing the feeling aside and trying to control the situation. More of “Spit-spot, let’s go!”-Mary Poppins sort of feel to it. (Well, on a good day.) Continue reading “Use your words, Mama! How to be vulnerable AND strong with your kids”