Category: Attachment parenting

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Three benefits of being a “Show-up” dad

I just talked with a new coworker whose pictures of his beautiful family were flashing over his screen. We talked about parenting, and kids. Here’s what he said about fatherhood:

“My wife and I have very separate busy lives, but because we are both active in our daughter’s life, our relationship grows stronger.  Many times I wonder how I “turned out OK” because my father was the typical dad of his day, and I was on my own to “grow up.”  Taking an active role in helping my daughter learn new things continues to teach me about myself in return!  The ability to be a part of her life and development as a person is one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given.” read more

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Use your words, Mama! How to be vulnerable AND strong with your kids

I now have great sympathy for whomever said, “Children should be seen and not heard.” Sometimes it feels like the last thing I can manage is to process yet another whine, yell or insult at the end of a long day. It’s times like those I want to reach for an “off” button. Or to borrow Shelly’s patience :-).

While responding to Jasmine’s comment last week, I started thinking about the different ways I handle behaviors that challenge me. While there are probably an infinite number of ways I respond, I can think of two main ways: vulnerable and controlling.

A simple way of breaking it down is, sometimes, when I feel sad, angry or frustrated, I feel myself opening, expanding, and dropping down into the feeling. Sort of an “Ahhhhhh” sense to it. That’s the vulnerable way.

Other times, I feel myself contracting, pushing the feeling aside and trying to control the situation. More of “Spit-spot, let’s go!”-Mary Poppins sort of feel to it. (Well, on a good day.) read more

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“I’m rubber, you’re glue…” Ways of responding to name-calling

Lately my son has been telling me some new things, including…

“I hate you!”, “I hate you both!” (to his dad and me), “You’re making me starve!” (when I won’t cook a second or third dinner) and “You’re a poo-poo head!”

I hadn’t heard these things from him until recently.

Well now, the “poo-poo head” is getting to have her say. Read on.

I have to admit, these new things he’s saying are taking me aback. Mostly I think it’s because there’s a level of directedness toward me that wasn’t there before. It’s hard not to take it personally and react accordingly. read more

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Six quick steps to a happier family

Are you tired of tantrums?

Give your kids an alternative

Get more connected by Guessing Feelings

By guessing your child’s feelings, you can help her learn a new way to express herself… verbally!

Even if your guesses are wrong, your child will respond to your efforts to tune into her. When young kids have tantrums, they’re frustrated, low on creativity, and can’t figure out another way to express how strongly they feel.

Remember that tantrums won’t necessarily disappear, just because your little angel is able to say, “Mommy, I’m mad!” read more

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